Think about them ALL THE TIME until you go crazy then go to askmefi whereupon everyone suggests therapy, then get therapy.

Yes. I'm unsure what the question is.

I'm so sorry loiseau. I think it takes time, even though that may sound like an empty statement at this time. Try to stay busy and surrond yourself with friends and things you enjoy.

There's good advice in this AskMe Post.

If you're having trouble climbing/scrambling on your own, I recommend using a chair to help you get started, or, in extreme cases, a ladder. Once you get on top of them, it's really all downhill from there.

Crying, wailing if need be. Keeping busy with friends, hobbies, pets, movies (or maybe just alcohol). Put everthing that reminds you of this person in a box and lock it. Give the key to someone you trust (to give it back when you're done with the person and just want to reminisce). And ultimately: time.

The time tested remedies tend to involve distilled spirits in large amounts, plenty of time, some paper and ink, and fire. It is good to not mix all these things in injudicious proportions.

But as one who's been there, you gotta do the hurtin', 'fore you do the healin', hon.

Time. That's it, just time. Nothing else does the trick quite like it.

Chocolate.
Or, my personal favorite, tequila.

Consume, sleep, repeat.

(This obviously isn't the best advice. But it may just keep you more distracted while you spend the time wisely suggested by everyone else here. Hope you're feeling better soon.)

Empirical evidence suggests that if you spiral into an abyss of deep depression characterized by drunken sluttiness and not eating, that you can get over someone just around the time the NEXT one breaks your heart.

That works for me every time, by the way.

≡ Click to see image ≡

god is there ever a good answer to this question? probably not.

in any case, my own personal experience tends to say that you'll be miserable until and unless you distract yourself from thinking about it. Things that help may include, and are not limited to: crying, shouting, being crazy to your friends, alcohol, heavy exercise, booty calls, celibacy, art, music, hobbies, therapy, upping and moving cross-country, time and distance.

also something people tend not to do a good job of: collect any and everything that reminds you of 'them' (seriously!). Now box it up, and either pitch/ebay/craigslist/freecycle/otherwise get rid of it or put it somewhere so inconvenient that you're not going to look/obsess/pine over it for months or even years, and may even forget about it entirely.

Including, but not limited to: photos, letters, tchotchkies, gifts, clothing, accessories, email accounts and internet bookmarks (no, don't even read their blog). I even wound up selling my old car, but that was mainly cos my x was part of the financing and it just made sense to disentangle that link as well.

Oh, God... I am just now getting rid of all the Barbies my first ex bought me and it's been cathartic. I'm also hopefully getting rid of the collecting bug he infected me with because I'm selling off other stuff too.

eBay is not the demon I thought it was. Plus, if you write up something cool and neat, you might get some sympathy letters and whatnot.

you eventually realize that the person you THOUGHT s/he is is not the person s/he really is. then the person you THOUGHT s/he is disappears. this disappearance is disconcerting, but saves you the trouble of getting over a person who no longer exists, and, after all, never DID exist...

"Just wait till tomorrow...
I guess that's what they all say...
Just get thru' it for a while..."

(...um, New Order...)

VooDoo?

Make a list of their flaws.

ebay isn't nearly cathartic enough. Find somewhere to make a bonfire and burn everything that reminds you of the other person. As you throw each item into the fire say "thank you for the good times, fuck you for the bad times. The final item should be something you create representing your relationship. It can be as simple as a piece of paper with a few words on it, but its creation can be cathartic by itself. As you throw this last thing on the fire say "fuck you very much." When the fire goes out, you're free. (If the fire doesn't go out, but instead spreads and consumes the world, then you shouldn't have broken up).

ugh, it's pretty complicated. We weren't in a relationship, but I really wanted one. I posted about it on the green. I don't think I realised how much I really liked him until he spoke out. Now I find myself silently yearning for a way to convince him that I think he's wonderful and that I'm wonderful too.

I guess I let myself get carried away over the past 8 months or so. But I really thought that we were an obvious match. Now I'm just fighting the voice that says that I was never good enough for him anyway. I'm old and have a round belly and psoriasis and I'm not very stylish and I'm a terrible conversationalist when I am shy around someone. If only I could be young and cute and tiny and a commodity.

Anyway.