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26 January 2007

My moral compass has no Magnetic North and I want a cigarette.
These two things (are|are not) related?
posted by danostuporstar 26 January | 14:08
Hang in there, rainbaby.

A Google image search for "smoker lung" might distract you till the craving passes. (I'd link, but it's pretty gross.)
posted by BoringPostcards 26 January | 14:12
Use the sun's moral compass: Poke a metaphorical stick in the ground of your belief structure. Place a stone of inquiry at the tip of its shadow, where light and darkness intersect. Wait ten minutes. Place another stone of inquiry at the tip of its shadow, where love and despair intersect. Draw a line between the two stones.

This is your East/West moral line. The line of moral relativity between the eastern and western philosophies. It will not be exact, though. Depending on your exact location and upbringing, there will be a declination from solar north.

For a more exact moral grounding, you will want to take a second sighting with a second metaphorical stick lined up along the North/South line derived from your first experiment. Now adjust the second metaphorical stick until you can sight the North Star over the tops of both metaphorical sticks. This will give you a true North/South moral compass, and answer once and for all whether industrialized socialism is superior to traditional values.

Please let us know what you discover!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 26 January | 14:16
Hold on tight rainbaby! You can do it sister. It's an evil demon bitch, but you really seem to have a good handle on it. Go eat an apple, or run around the block, just break the thought process and it can help.

P.S. Tangentially, I have a friend whom I believe to be magnetic north for all drugs. Inanimate they may be, but each time a bag of dope is picked up by someone, said dope hopes it is put down a little closer to my friend. This I believe.
posted by richat 26 January | 14:16
I've already threatened to turn you into puddlebaby once this week. Don't make me do it again.
posted by occhiblu 26 January | 14:20
Smoking sucks.
The problem is you don't realize this until you've really really quit.
Up until that point you just keep wanting them.
But you're better off without them, and I assume you know that.
Don't do it! Resist! For Great Justice!
posted by CitrusFreak12 26 January | 14:21
Have an Atomic Fireball! I found that burny things helped.
posted by jrossi4r 26 January | 15:17
Think of quitting as giving priceless gifts to Future Rainbaby:
  • Skin that is far smoother and clearer
  • Teeth that are your own
  • A voice that is supple and strong
  • Lower risks of lung cancer and heart disease
  • Lower risks of bladder cancer and colon problems (incontinence is such a drag)
  • Healthier kids and husband, if you ever roll that way
  • Lifetime savings in the 5 or 6 figures of US dollars, for a young woman with a normal life expectancy. That is, like, an apartment in Paris you could have, instead.

The worst cravings only last 3 to 5 minutes. You only have to fight them 3 to 5 minutes at a time. Deep or patterned breathing works wonders, when they hit their hardest.
posted by paulsc 26 January | 15:45
Thanks buns, I made it, this time. Mmmwaaah!
posted by rainbaby 26 January | 16:42
(dano, they are related, but not but so much. I don't have a moral Magnetic North whether I smoke or not.)
posted by rainbaby 26 January | 16:43
paulsc beat me to the punch. My Dad told me that his accupuncturist told him if you can make it past the first 2 minutes of your inital craving - you are past it.

Have you ever smelled a full ashtray up close? Go take a good whiff of one, that oughtta' help your craving. Yumm-o, huh?
posted by getoffmylawn 26 January | 16:57
Hey! Someone spilled some beer in this ashtray! /barney
posted by pieisexactlythree 26 January | 16:58
The length of the pang depends on how far along you are. At some point, they'll be like 30 seconds or less, and a simple distraction will have you going "oh I wanted one 15 seconds ago and forgot all about it".
It's easy!
posted by Hellbient 26 January | 17:53
I found this to be sorta charming. . .(n {especially} sfw but no graphics) || Now

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