MetaChat - I'm having a laser tag birthday!

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24 January 2007

I'm having a laser tag birthday! My 30th birthday is coming up. We are renting out the local laser tag place. The thought of 30something 30somethings running around a dark warehouse playing laser tag has me just giddy with excitement. However, there is a dilemma.→[More:]

It's expensive to rent the place out, but I'm going to have enough people that it will be necessary. When you look at the cost on a per person, per game basis, it's actually a great deal; it comes to something like $7/game. But my girlfriend has vowed to fund my birthday weekend as I funded hers, and it's expensive for just one person to pay for, especially if we want to play more than a game or two (each game lasts about 15 minutes).

I already know the answer to this question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. I wouldn't have even considered it if one of the people I'm inviting hadn't said something. We were talking about it and he said how he thinks we should play around 4 games. I told him the cost and he said that he would be more than willing to pitch in because it would be so much fun. I said that I thought it was bad form to invite people to a party and require them to pay for themselves, even partially. He persisted, saying that it was my birthday, and that he knows people would be willing to chip in. Still, I feel squicky about it. I'm going to tell my parents that I want just cash as a present to help pay for the party, so that'll help, but is my instinct that it's bad form to ask guests to help fund the activity correct?

post by: mike9322 at: 13:16 | 35 comments

Um, all this money shit aside, I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve - OMG LASER TAG!! So excited.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 13:17

Personally I would expect to pay if I was being invited to a party like that. I don't see how it's any different to being asked to 'bring a bottle' to a normal party.

posted by chrismear 24 January | 13:28

But is my instinct that it's bad form to ask guests to help fund the activity correct?

Yes.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 24 January | 13:28

I see it this way... it's you're birthday, don't worry about it. Tell them two games are included; if they want more, it will be out of their pockets. And of course they will.

posted by Doohickie 24 January | 13:29

Although, I think it depends on a lot on the crowd you run with. If all of your friends have the extra spending money, it'll be less of a deal then if you have friends who would be put in the spot of I'd Love To Go But I Have No Money.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 24 January | 13:29

Agree with TPS. People might *offer* but you should never ask nor expect people to pitch in.

[And I don't ask ppl to 'bring a bottle' to any party I throw either. At least, not since I was out of college. But social norms are different in different parts of the world.]

posted by gaspode 24 January | 13:31

Wear dark clothes, Mike. Don't get all Splinter-Cell-meets-Dog-the-Bounty-Hunter, as that'll just people want to shoot you, but don't wear a white t-shirt either.

posted by box 24 January | 13:36

make people want to shoot you, that is.

posted by box 24 January | 13:37

TPS/gaspode's philosophy is the same as my own. My friend was so adamant that it was okay, though, that I thought I'd sanity check it and make sure I wasn't being overly ... I dunno, overly something.

And doohickie, I like your idea a lot, but you have to tell the laser tag people how many games you're renting the place out for when you book it.

On preview, I expect people will let me win, box. Or they can kiss their invitation to my 40th birthday space battle goodbye.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 13:38

None of my friends have any money and never have. We always bring bottles or six packs or food and we expect to pay for our friends' drinks on their birthdays - if one of my friends planned a party like this one, or bowling or something, I'd expect to pay my own portion and part of the birthday boy's. But maybe we're weird. That said, I think doohickie's suggestion is wise - pay for one or two games and then if people want to play more they can pay for it. Also, this is a brilliant idea for a party!

note: except for kids' parties. If you're throwing a kids party it's tacky to expect people to chip in. I know this since it has happened to me and I thought it was totally tacky.

posted by mygothlaundry 24 January | 13:42

Sounds like an easy solution- tell your friend, "Wow, you're so generous, I can't believe you're offering to pay for my entire birthday party! Just hand over a blank check and I'm all set!" ;-)

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 24 January | 13:42

Bonus question: if we were to somehow indicate that we'd like some help, how would we word that on the invitation? Or is it a "assume people will offer" thing?

Gah, just writing that question makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't think I can do it. Man I wish we could do doohickie's idea.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 13:47

I think it's an "assume people will offer" thing. I went to a baby shower at a restaurant about 8 months back, and I assumed, as we were leaving, that I needed to pay someone for dinner, so I asked (as did another friend). Nope, someone hosted it.

Although if you wanted people to chip in, I would just say on the invite- hey all, we're doing laser tag for mike's b-day. Games are $7 each per person per game. See ya there! I don't think there's any way you can finesse it where it says, We want you to chip in if you can but we'll pay for you if you can't. Nope. Too weird.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 24 January | 13:52

I played a bunch of laser tag when I around 14-15 with my good friend, Eric. Eric ended up "going pro" a few years later and traveled around North America playing in laser tag tournaments. His handle was a long, hard-to-pronounce Elvish name from Tolkien--it was terrifically geeky.

One of his teammates used the name "007". He was a little older than us and I remember him telling us how embarrassed he would get when little kids recognized him after playing laser tag for their birthday parties. The kids were in awe of his laser tag skillz and would yell out "Hey 007!" when they saw him in the mall with his girlfriend.

Anyway, sounds like a fun birthday. Have fun, mike9322.

posted by mullacc 24 January | 13:53

I'd think that "going pro" would use real lasers. You know, like the ones in Star Trek.
It's like when people who do paintball go pro, and they use real bullets.
*blinks*
...what?

posted by Zack_Replica 24 January | 14:09

(laser tag is actually funner than you'd think it should be - I did it with people from a bunch of years back, and it was a hoot. not as fun as paintball, as there was no advantage in aiming for the soft areas, but fun nonetheless.)

posted by Zack_Replica 24 January | 14:12

funner is too a word.

posted by Zack_Replica 24 January | 14:13

Exactly what mygoth said.

Happy Birthday!

posted by Specklet 24 January | 14:18

My friend John just had a great idea. Afterwards, we are renting out the clubhouse at my apartment complex for food, beverages, partying. All of that will be free for people. So we say on the invitation: party at the clubhouse, but if you want to play laser tag first, it's $7/person/game.

How does that sound?

posted by mike9322 24 January | 14:27

Still feels a little weird to me, but it's better. It makes it so the laser tag part is optional.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 14:31

That sounds excellent.

posted by Wolfdog 24 January | 14:32

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you're just now turning 30.

But it sounds like a GREAT party, and that compromise sounds better than asking people to pay outright.

posted by BoringPostcards 24 January | 14:35

Ha, BP, I am told all the time that I come across as much older (more mature? wiser?) than my age.

And, dammit if I don't still feel weird. Two games is affordable, and since we're having the big thing afterwards (and renting the clubhouse, which will accomodate 50 people, is only $125 for the whole day!), maybe it's good enough. I don't want anyone to be left out from any part of the party because they're unable or unwilling to pay.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 14:44

Reading this thread cracks me up. I can see myself debating with myself, trying to convince myself that it's not lame... and losing.

Maybe I'll just put out a tip jar.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 14:54

Mygothlaundry's description is pretty much the norm among my friends -- if there is cost involved in the party, each attendee pays their own way, and chips in for the birthday boy/girl if they can. We're not little kids anymore, we can afford to pay for ourselves.

I think your lasertag optional, afterparty free plan is perfect. But don't be surprised if most people opt for the tag.

posted by me3dia 24 January | 14:54

... and then me3dia and mgl and specklet come in here with their logic and their reasonable thinking, and make me think that maybe I am being too uptight and that people really wouldn't find it weird at all.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 14:58

Mike, just do what you're comfortable with. There are a zillion ways to go about it, all situation-dependent and dependent on who the people are, and all sorts of things. (Will ppl be coming in from out of town for your birthday, for example? That would play into my thinking if they already have to travel to celebrate with you)

posted by gaspode 24 January | 15:02

I did this very thing for my bachelorette party. It was a hoot.

I also like your friend John's suggestion for the invites.

posted by rainbaby 24 January | 15:48

So we say on the invitation: party at the clubhouse, but if you want to play laser tag first, it's $7/person/game.

That's the perfect solution! No one will think that's weird. (And folks can always buy people a game or two, if they feel compelled.)

posted by Specklet 24 January | 15:49

I think we'll probably go the lasertag optional route. me3dia is right that it is unlikely anyone will scoff at $14 to play some lasertag, especially with a big free drunken party to follow.

Thanks everyone for your input, truly. I wish I could spend my birthday with all of you.

posted by mike9322 24 January | 16:23

party at the clubhouse, but if you want to play laser tag first, it's $7/person/game.

This sounds good. Think of it another way: if you were holding a party at a night club or strip joint would you cover everyone's cover charge? If the club house was a 30 minute drive would you arrange transportation?

posted by Mitheral 24 January | 16:29

I went to one of these laser tag parties once. I was rather drunk and got sent off for tackling another player. Fucking uptight sons of bitches.

posted by dodgygeezer 24 January | 17:38

I feel that thinking, "What would I do if I were holding this at a strip club?" is a tried-and-tested way of figuring out the right course of action for any situation, really.

posted by occhiblu 24 January | 17:42

I was thinking of doing a "Valentine's Day Massacre" with my friends at the local LazerShak. Glad to know I'm not the only one not too old for teh fun.

I think you should have a split party; one that's just birthday festivities as usual, and then whoever wants to can join you for Lazer Tag afterwards, with the understanding that they will pay a portion of their own way. Dunno if that interferes with your rental plans.

posted by Eideteker 24 January | 18:21

My friend John just had a great idea. Afterwards, we are renting out the clubhouse at my apartment complex for food, beverages, partying. All of that will be free for people. So we say on the invitation: party at the clubhouse, but if you want to play laser tag first, it's $7/person/game.

Yes, exactly. Also, I meant to paste that in on preview. Sorry.

posted by Eideteker 24 January | 18:24

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