MetaChat - Love is a klutzfield

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22 January 2007

Love is a klutzfield This story may be too much information, but it is pretty funny.... →[More:]An ex of mine had extremely sensitive nipples. He couldn't bear to have them touched, um, "afterwards". So one time there we were, "afterwards", settling in for the obligatory cuddle session (he had to have it or he'd sulk), head on chest.

I threw an arm across his chest. He jumped and yelped so that I withdrew my arm and said, "What's wrong?" He said, "That was you — you touched my nip."

I said, "Oh, I'm sorry," and reached out a contrite hand. Which I placed flat on the other nipple.

He said it was kind of like being in bed with one of the Three Stooges — you know, hit the stooge with a lead pipe, turn around, hit him with the other end of the lead pipe.

Then later we went out for lunch and I knocked my full glass of water into his lap.

The poor sod gallantly assured me it was worth it.

post by: Orange Swan at: 08:27 | 6 comments

*dons breastplate and raincoat*

posted by taz 22 January | 09:13

maybe you should've bought him some pasties(NSFW).

posted by jonmc 22 January | 10:19

So I guess nipple clamps were out. ; )

posted by Pips 22 January | 11:22

One of my klutzy romance stories. . .

A gf I had (and the relationship was not going that well at that point) agreed to go out for dinner but even deciding on a place to eat was a chore, there was that much inertia to everything at that point. We decide on a German place. . .

The salad came and I immediately got a piece of lettuce lodged in my throat and could not get it out. I could breathe, but barely. I let her know about it, and tried discreetly to get it out, but no deal. Finally, she suggested that I go outside to cough it out. She goes with me, all the while acting, instead of concerned, like she wanted to by ANYWHERE but there, helping me.

I finally got it out. and we went on with dinner and our shitty evening. This was years ago but I remember the look on her face, subtly, but totally mortified that she was there PLUS had to deal with me choking.

Ah, the ebbs and flows of LTRs. . . .

posted by danf 22 January | 12:47

Oh, danf, you reminded me of the last vacation I took with an ex. We'd been together two years, but he kept dancing around the "committment" idea. We went to Acadia National Park in Maine with two friends (we were camping in the area). We were standing on the coast, the wind was so strong that the seagulls just hung there in the breeze. We were tossing pieces of bread to them. My ex had "tender" ears, and couldn't take the wind. Instead of going back to the car and getting in, he instead ran to the car, and crouched down behind it, covering his ears the whole time. He looked ridiculous. And I'm sure my face looked the same as danf's ex gf.

posted by redvixen 22 January | 19:31

I do clumsy things and embarass the BF all the time. He calls me a clod, but he still loves me. Once I farted in a very inappropriate place at a very inappropriate time. But getting that out of the way is better than being a couple that's been together for 13 years and can't even go to the bathroom they're on the same floor of the house.

posted by youngergirl44 22 January | 20:49

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