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22 January 2007

I have a weird, twisted admiration for Hardees. In a world where all these fast food restaurants are trying to offer "healthy" menu items, Hardees has gone in exactly the opposite direction. It's almost like they're saying "Eff that. We're a fast food joint and we're not going to apologize for it. Have some meat."[More:]

Their latest offering is the Monster Biscuit: The new Monster Biscuit is made using three half-strips of bacon, a sausage patty, four slices of shaved ham, a folded egg and two slices of chees all on a Made-From-Scratch Biscuit.

This gem is added to their already impressive menu choices, including the 2/3 lb. Monster Thickburger, the Chili Cheese Thickburger, the Jalepeno Thickburger, the Loaded Omelet Biscuit, the Loaded Biscuit 'N' Gravy Breakfast Bowl, and many, many others.

They need to take it to the next level and have the "Nutrition" link on their website take you to a page that simply says, "NONE". Or, more hilariously, a 404 error; but I think that's one joke that'd be lost on most people.

Don't get me wrong. I like some fast food from time to time. And I'm being serious when I say Go Hardees! I'm unlikely to eat your food but you have some serious balls.
Yum!
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by mike9322 22 January | 12:26
In theory, that approach is fantastic. And you know I am an unabashed lover of the meat and the cheese and the eggs. But every time I've been to a hardees the food has sucked. and they can't compete with the White Castle Surf & Turf, dude.

Plus, didn't burger king already do the three meat breakfast sandwich?
posted by jonmc 22 January | 12:31
Yeah, their food isn't that good. I'm being satirical.

And yeah, BK has a gutbuster breakfast. But they've also offered "healthy" choices on their menu, which to me ruins every bit of credibility their alleged unhealth campaign might have had.

Hmm, do you think Hardees is affiliated at all with some sort of cardiologist organization? It's a conspiracy!
posted by mike9322 22 January | 12:36
Burger King does a *four patty* hamburger, with bacon and cheese. Crazy!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 12:37
I'd forgotten about that, TPS! You are so right. Wow, the cardiologists are everywhere.
posted by mike9322 22 January | 12:38
Hardee's? Those motherfuckers can't even get ketchup right. Seriously.
posted by trondant 22 January | 12:45
I'm kind of bummed we don't have Dairy Queen in NYC. I've been wanting to try this for a while.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 12:47
and for sheer indulgence, this is top of the heap:
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by jonmc 22 January | 12:48
OMFG.
posted by mike9322 22 January | 12:49
Large chili cheese fries, two chili cheese dogs, and a large drink from Papaya King on 14th street. It was delicious. It'd be perfect if they added bacon.

these dogs from Super Duper Weenie are pretty amazing, too:
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by jonmc 22 January | 12:52
I just learned this super-sized-meals page exists.
posted by box 22 January | 12:52
Hardee's is for wimps.

Dangerous Dan's in Toronto has always challenged and meh, Super Size Me./

Menu, LHS, then scroll down & see the desert special./ Dang./

The Coronary Burger Special
2 8oz Patties, 4 Slices of Bacon, 2 Slices of Cheddar and a Fried Egg on top. Served w/ Fries and Gravy, Can of Pop and Mayo as a garnish for sure!
$ 13.45 (Royale 17.20)

Quadruple C
"Collosal Colon Clogger Combo"
24oz burger served with a quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs. Also comes with a large shake (flavor of your choice) and a small poutine.
$ 21.99 (Royale 25.74)

Poutine - Fries with cheddar cheese curds and gravy. Delicious./

I hardly eat junk food, but do love it on occasion. I've never eaten at Dangerous Dan's, but it is tempting. So, one starved day I may visit. Their shake I've had, they suck.

The Dairy Queen burgers suck. Too overpriced, better taste and value elsewhere, stick to the ice cream which they are famous for. It's all about the copy and creamy photography. Lies, doesn't look like the finished product at all, Surprise./
posted by alicesshoe 22 January | 12:53
this is from Big Nick's on Broadway. It's called a Texas Burger; 1/2 pound of beef topped with a fried egg, monterey jack cheese and bacon. yum
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by jonmc 22 January | 12:56
and an oldie but a goodie, from the Stage Restaurant on Second Avenue, the kielbasa omelet:
≡ Click to see image ≡

(despite the onslaught of the health nazis, indulgent food is still easy to find)
posted by jonmc 22 January | 12:58
My favorite is Krystal. It's probably for the best, but they closed the store around the corner. *sob* *cry*
posted by LoriFLA 22 January | 12:58
The Falls on Lafayette St. used to have awesome burgers until, you know, the bouncer killed and dismembered that college girl and they shut down.
posted by gaspode 22 January | 12:59
Texas Triple Whopper - 1290 calories. Add in a 600 calorie King Size fries and you're talking enough calories in two items for an adult male for a day.
posted by plinth 22 January | 12:59
Carl's Junior has a huge poster of The Cheesesteak Burger up along my morning walk to work route. The thought of it makes my stomach churn. I mean, I like cheesesteak sandwiches. I like burgers. But cheesesteak is a sandwich in itself.

Meat is not a condiment.

Then again, this thred is making me anxious for the time when it flips from breakfast to lunch at my local drive-thru, so what do I know?
posted by gucky 22 January | 13:02
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by box 22 January | 13:03
and possibly the best meat sanwich on earth, a Katz*'s pastrami Reuben (what you see below is half of one):
≡ Click to see image ≡

*not the chain, the real one on Houston Street in New York.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:03
FYI, the BK Quad Stacker has 1000 calories and 68 grams of fat. Yummers!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 13:08
All of this sandwich talk and pictures are making me hungry. Could someone make me one of these?
posted by LoriFLA 22 January | 13:10
Texas Triple Whopper - 1290 calories. Add in a 600 calorie King Size fries and you're talking enough calories in two items for an adult male for a day.

HAHAHAHA!
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:11
Readers of this thread may be interested in this link.
posted by mike9322 22 January | 13:11
The american heart association is a bunch of gay communist vegetarian pitchfork media reading NPR listening Smiths fans. It's been proven.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:14
Who's scruffy-lookin'?
posted by mike9322 22 January | 13:15
*goes off to eat the same lunch that she eats every day: salad*

*is depressed*
posted by gaspode 22 January | 13:18
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.


[/obligatory]
posted by gaspode 22 January | 13:20
pode, you're up in the Bronx. there's a White Castle right over on Bruckner Boulevard. Indulge.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:26
I've never had White Castle. I'd at the stage where... where... I'd kind of like my first time to be with you jon...
posted by gaspode 22 January | 13:32
I don't get to the Bronx much. You should call pips, she's right down the road. And a half-dozen murderburgers is a culinary experience not to be missed.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:35
There's one right by Penn Station you know. Maybe I'll go there one day.
posted by gaspode 22 January | 13:38
I've been to that one. There's one in Astoria, too. and Bayside.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:40
gaspode, George loved White Castle and, as part of the tribute I wrote to him that was read at his funeral, where I talked about all the things I'd learned from him, I said "... and the most important lesson I learned from George was that it is a very good idea indeed to be no more than 10 minutes from home after eating a sack of White Castle Slyders ..."

It got a (welcome) laugh of recognition from anyone who's ever eaten them. They're delicious, but OMG, they do something to your insides.

And jonmc, I know your wedding was good, but not this good.
posted by essexjan 22 January | 13:42
I've never been to a White Castle.
posted by mike9322 22 January | 13:42
The thing I always liked about White Castle is that they've seen it all. I've witnessed one person in line order a hundred sliders and there was nary a blink from the register monkey.
posted by plinth 22 January | 13:56
Cholera. Uwielbiam jajecznice z kiełbasą.
posted by alicesshoe 22 January | 14:09
I have never even seen a White Castle.

Anyway, I grabbed some breakfast at Hardee's a couple weeks ago. It was the first time in years that I had eaten anything from there. I thought it was good.

Also, in Orlando there was this McDonald's that had a menu with at LEAST twenty times as much food as any normal one I have been to, and the food was way too good. I have no idea what was up with that place. It had menu items that were over ten dollars. And also claimed to have the world's largest playground or some such.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 22 January | 14:49
Musical interlude . . . .

"Hurry on down to Hardee's,
Where the burgers are charcoal-broiled!"

Geez I'm old.
posted by JanetLand 22 January | 15:14
Hardee's is owned by Carl's Jr. and run by someone who is vehemently anti-abortion.


There's a White Castle near CUNY on 5th.
posted by brujita 22 January | 16:51
No Dairy Queen in NYC? WTF is wrong with that place?
posted by KevinSKomsvold 22 January | 17:59
There was always an ambulance parked outside the Hardees in Mason, Ohio. Just in case.

(We shoulda had the limo drop us at In & Out, ej...)

('pode, keep your hands off my man's buns ; )
posted by Pips 22 January | 18:23
There are at least a couple Hardee's here - in Home Depot. Weird.

I have to second alicesshoe on skipping the food at DQ. Stick to Blizzards; they are teh ossem.

I miss Carl's Jr. And I think I'm the only one that loved their dehydrated potato french fries.
posted by deborah 22 January | 18:35
Health craze? What health craze? If you're in your mid-thirties, the vegetarian whole-foods-and-organic-vegetables craze has been running uninterrupted since before you were born.

And Hardees is being about as daring as wearing old Wrangler jeans to a rodeo.

Rebelling against long-term gains for the sake of instant gratification is the same sort of stick-it-to-the-man mark of individuality that Coke uses to clear twenty three billion dollars a year by selling exactly the same thing to you that they're selling to impoverished children in India and stupid heiresses jet-setting from New York to Los Angeles for a dinner party.

Hey America: Go go go, eat crap food. I like me a big greasy burger too. But for Pete's sake, inflating your belly for the sake of some ironically stated counterpolitical cause is masking the sense of guilt you're trying to convince us you don't have.
posted by ardgedee 22 January | 19:05
Satirical.

I was being satirical.
posted by mike9322 22 January | 19:08
Hmmm...no Hardees 'round here. But we are lousy with DQs, thank goodness. And I'm going to go against the grain and say that I actually enjoy their burgers--though not as much as their chili cheese dogs.
posted by jrossi4r 22 January | 19:24
Go go go, eat crap food. I like me a big greasy burger too. But for Pete's sake, inflating your belly for the sake of some ironically stated counterpolitical cause is masking the sense of guilt you're trying to convince us you don't have.

ardegee: take a pill. I eat crap food cause I like it, no other reason. The fact that it irritates self-righteous bluenoses is merely a bonus. And trust me, the starving children aren't that interested in the empty gestures of the 'I'd never eat at McDonald's,' crowd either. And I'm blessed with a belly that dosen't inflate no matter how much I put in it.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 19:42
Hardee's was good when I was a kid. Carl Jr bought them out and they have been crap ever since.
posted by bunnyfire 22 January | 20:12
Blue 9 on 3rd Ave in NYC comes close to In'n'Out--but I don't think you can use the secret menu there.
posted by brujita 23 January | 00:41
Canada doesn't have White Castles.

Visiting my sister, I had to try them. Grabbed the niece and nephew, wheee we're going for burgers. They were excited. I was excited, WooHoo, I'll try this White Castle I've heard so much about.


I couldn't believe the size of the patties, with the holes in them./

The kids scrunched up their noses at the burger and only ate the fries.

I heard that the onions are really cabbage soaked in onion juice. No shit¿


It's the kind of place you may visit after drinking quarts and quarts of beer and get a hankering for some food. Stepping outside after eating a 6 pack of sliders, you burp and spill your guts on the hood of someone's truck....
posted by alicesshoe 23 January | 09:31
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