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MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

22 January 2007

Actually, why *doesn't* MeFi or MeCha have a personals section? and yes, I know all about the Impersonals
post by: NucleophilicAttack at: 13:22 | 68 comments
Too scary. No.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 13:24
Like... scarier than Match? Uh, how is that possible?
posted by NucleophilicAttack 22 January | 13:26
Well, everybody's been having sex with everybody else the whole time, dude. You didn't know?
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:27
I know the answer, but it's too personal.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 January | 13:29
"Wolfdog, housebroke, mostly domesticated, seeks loving owner..." hm.
posted by Wolfdog 22 January | 13:33
Ah, the reason it's a bad idea just came to me- Metafilter and Metachat are discussion sites; websites where people can discuss topics. And they're both really fun and great. To bring a dating website realm into that opens the door to bringing waaaay too much personal business out there in the atmosphere. I know that people have met through the website and/or meetups (heh), but keeping the "hookup" side of Mefi/Mecha unofficial keeps the nasty stuff off our back. Like, what happens when people break up, are we constantly editing our comments to keep our dating profile clean, etc.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 13:33
Well, you know when someone says "this is why we can't have nice things?" Well, a dating feature is one of those "nice things."

With every flameout, you're that much farther away from getting laid. And rightly so.
posted by SassHat 22 January | 13:33
TPS has it, I think. On a dating site, you always have to put your best face on, whereas here, we're a "warts and all" kinda bunch. And I for one wouldn't want it any other way.
posted by BoringPostcards 22 January | 13:36
How can a man who doesn't even have his e-mail address listed in his Mecha profile be interested in a dating site?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 13:36
Heh, point.
posted by NucleophilicAttack 22 January | 13:39
Craigslist seems a little skeezy when I've tried it - never seen so many pictures of penises in my life.
??? People really do this? Does it ever work? I think I'd have better luck sending goatse to people.
posted by pieisexactlythree 22 January | 13:40
??? People really do this? Does it ever work?

I imagine it would depend on the penis.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 13:42
I'm still hoping for a MetaClassifieds section, so I can finally advertise my Mercenary Service.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 January | 13:49
It's been talked about a bunch of times. I, for one, would welcome ur new personals overlords but then I'm one of the geographically challenged mefites so a) it's the only way I'm going to meet them yet b) I doubt it would make much of a difference. There's only one other active mefite/mechazen here & he's a good friend - but we aren't, uh, dating compatible.

as for the emailing penises thing, yes, it does happen, a lot more than you would think, and no, it doesn't work. Unless there's been a specific request for penis, well, penis is just TMI and sweet weeping christ, I do not want to get that up close & personal by the second email. I mean, YMMV and I'm sure there are some women who like to, uh, try before they buy or whatever, but I have never actually met one. We had a long talk about this at bunnystock - there are many penis emailers.
posted by mygothlaundry 22 January | 13:54
I'm still hoping for a MetaClassifieds section, so I can finally advertise my Mercenary Service.
Make a site for it and add it to Projects. First thing you need is a catchy domain name. One that will grab people.
posted by iconomy 22 January | 13:57
Seems to me that area meetups will do about as much for hookups as a dating subdomain could do. But then I wouldn't want a long-distance relationship.
posted by Orange Swan 22 January | 14:02
WillKillForMoney.MetaFilter.Com
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 January | 14:13
I imagine it would depend on the penis.

Speaking from a straight woman's point of view, no, it really doesn't.

I wonder, do the guys who do this do it because that's what they'd like to receive? Are they just really chickenshit exhibitionists? Maybe they just like their penis so much they think it would be selfish not to share the joy? Especially confusing are the people who don't have anything to brag about and yet post pictures anyway. Why? Why? Why?

s_r realizes she has just outed herself as someone who spends way too much time on craigslist.
posted by small_ruminant 22 January | 14:23
Are they just really chickenshit exhibitionists?

Isn't that a contradiction in terms?
posted by jonmc 22 January | 14:25
s_r, don't worry. I too spend way, waaaay too much time on CL. It's the Wal-Mart of the Internet...you go in for a roommate, come out with a free toaster and a new BF
posted by SassHat 22 January | 14:27
In addition to what TPS said, I think it's also that it's nice to have a place where we're (supposedly!) not judged on our looks. I don't want people debating the merits of my opinions based on whether they want to date me, or ignoring posts from people unless they're interested in dating them, or anything that in any way resembles the dynamics of a pick-up joint. It's nice to engage with people without always having to worry about ulterior motives, on either side.
posted by occhiblu 22 January | 14:29
anything that in any way resembles the dynamics of a pick-up joint.

well, half-price cocktails would be cool.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 14:33
Too complicated. Too sticky. I vote no.
posted by Specklet 22 January | 14:35
It's nice to engage with people without always having to worry about ulterior motives, on either side.

This is something I really look forward to, should I ever actually succeed in getting into a working, lasting relationship. As hard as I try not to, when you're single you wind up looking at everything and everyone in the light of whether you'd date them and/or whether they could help you get a date.
posted by Orange Swan 22 January | 14:39
TPS has it, I think. On a dating site, you always have to put your best face on, whereas here, we're a "warts and all" kinda bunch.

I wonder if this is why jobs.metafilter.com has been slow to take off.

Too sticky.

Eww.
posted by danostuporstar 22 January | 14:40
I have yet to visit a dating site that didn't make me want to vomit up blood. If either Mecha or Mefi added one, I am almost certain that I would quit visiting.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 22 January | 14:41
Plus, once Mefi/Mecha opens a dating site, people from outside the community will flock. And that I definitely do NOT want.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 14:44
Are they just really chickenshit exhibitionists?

Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

I don't think so. If you're into exhibitionism and you're out of the range of my fists you're a wimp. People who send anonymous pornographic emails to single young women are super wimps.
posted by small_ruminant 22 January | 14:46
Because, no matter how hard you try, you won't write an ad as good as mine.
posted by mrmoonpie 22 January | 14:48
I don't think this feature would change anything for me. Because I already always append the phrase "Would you like to see my penis?" to the end of everybody's comments here, anyway.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 January | 14:49
Well there have been at least two couplings amongst the bunnies that I know of (and I am sure a lot that I do not know of) but it is nice to come here and not have as much of that going on, on the surface. . .so harmless banter and flirting is just that, and hopefully not misconstrued.

One of the reasons I like it here is the balance between the sexes, and the candor with which we can share stuff without the afore-mentioned "ulterior motives."

Oh and for the record, if I were single and 15 years younger, I would be camping on Orange Swan's doorstep, but I'm not, so I'm not. (Not that she wouldn't call the police.) Actually with a number of the single women on this site, I have thoughts about "why the hell is she (unwillingly) single, as smart and attractive, etc. etc. etc."

But that said, I am glad that there is not a bunny personals thing here. . .on Metafilter, with a much larger group, it would work, maybe.

(So, mgl, no penis for you.)
posted by danf 22 January | 14:51
If MeCha were more like Craigslist: Photo Friday: Post your penis!
posted by pieisexactlythree 22 January | 14:53
Speaking of penises, I just saw a lovely typo here at work: instead of "to honor the memory of so-and-so," what got typed was "to honor the member of so-and-so." Heh.
posted by JanetLand 22 January | 14:57
Hell, I was in the laundromat watching the news with the sound off and the closed captioning read "and that's the nudes for tonight."
posted by jonmc 22 January | 14:59
My favorite headline ever was in the Black Mountain News a few years back: Parade, Dance to Honor Owen's Johnson.

Owen High School - Somebody or other Johnson, a football star. But just for that first moment glancing at the newspaper box, it was so great.
posted by mygothlaundry 22 January | 15:07
Because, no matter how hard you try, you won't write an ad as good as mine.


That is a great one. Also, we'd be hard-pressed to get ads as good as these.
posted by danf 22 January | 15:14
Heh, touched a nerve there, I see. :-) Didn't realize ya'll were so dead-set against the idea.
posted by NucleophilicAttack 22 January | 15:27
"Heh, touched a nerve there, I see. :-) Would you like to see my penis?"
See how that works? Makes every day a little brighter.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 January | 15:34
It's never a good idea to shit where you eat.
posted by getoffmylawn 22 January | 15:35
Ummmm.... right. But in this case, I'd imagine it's more like, it's never a good idea to eat where you shit.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 15:43
Ha! Nice one, TPS.
posted by gaspode 22 January | 15:46
Eat shit and die (a little)!
posted by danostuporstar 22 January | 15:46
IRFH at least you ask politely.
posted by small_ruminant 22 January | 15:48
My penis is a gentleman.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 January | 15:51
But does your penis rain Florence Henderson?
posted by JanetLand 22 January | 16:01
This is why we have the down low.

That said, i finally looked at consumating, and a lot of these/youse people are both pretty and geographically unattractive, not to mention me thinking you were a different sex most of the time.
posted by ethylene 22 January | 16:18
me thinking you were a different sex most of the time.

well, I am too pretty for just one gender, eth. heh.
posted by jonmc 22 January | 16:21
You have make me feel pretty sexless myself, jon.
Thanks for that.
posted by ethylene 22 January | 16:27
Every time I look at myself on consumating I discover that three people don't like me and it makes me all angst ridden. No wonder I never look at it.
posted by mygothlaundry 22 January | 16:29
That's how I felt about Consumating! Once I got up to 10 people not liking me, it made me so sad I deleted my profile.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 January | 16:34
Don't worry, jonmc is like our gender ph balance here, neutralizing all the sexual tension in the fact he's always out there, watching.
It's like that scene in donnie darko and why we never kiss in the woods now.
posted by ethylene 22 January | 16:40
Every time I look at myself on consumating

That's how I felt about Consumating!

I'm hoping consumating is a dating website of some sort? Otherwise I'm very confused.
posted by JanetLand 22 January | 16:45
Because it'd be pretty much a sausagefest?

(Mefi taught me that word and I love it for doing so, it's so delightfully euphemistically vulgar.)
posted by hugsnkisses 22 January | 16:46
It was this.
Check out that pickle feathers. Most guys can't pull off that aged guru look.
posted by ethylene 22 January | 16:50
Because it'd be pretty much a sausagefest?

You say that like it's a bad thing!

(But actually, MeCha is one site where that would very much NOT be the case.)

I too spend way, waaaay too much time on CL. It's the Wal-Mart of the Internet...you go in for a roommate, come out with a free toaster and a new BF

SassHat, I can't stop laughing at that line. Heh!
posted by BoringPostcards 22 January | 17:02
From Consumating:
Just Overheard:
"sup whore"

Uh, no.
posted by Specklet 22 January | 17:06
You have earned -18 points which makes you the 15392nd most popular person. Recently, your popularity has been going down.


Ouch. I'm glad I forgot about Consumating. I KNOW I'M NOT COOL, DOES THE INTERNET REALLY NEED TO REMIND ME?!
posted by cmonkey 22 January | 17:18
Aww, but you're so cute.
Meet us on "The Down Low'd" in the jonmc free zone.
posted by ethylene 22 January | 17:21
But Speck, imagine if we had a bot randomly pulling quotes from MeCha:

"Just overheard: my penis is a gentleman"

"Just overheard: Photo Friday: Post your penis!"

"Just overheard: penis is just TMI and sweet weeping christ, I do not want to get that up close & personal by the second email."

That's just this thread.
posted by SassHat 22 January | 17:23
O.o thanks for convincing me about the "scary" bit.
posted by NucleophilicAttack 22 January | 17:38
*removes penis from scanner*
posted by pieisexactlythree 22 January | 17:43
No personals? How 'bout just a key party? ; )

(Bring your penis if ya got one.)
posted by Pips 22 January | 17:54
Unafraid of flying penis attack, scared of popularity rating... interesting.

As for penis pictures, the one of the reason i still have my old old comp is the bizarre frequency in which rather well known people would randomly send you pictures of their penis when contacted by email in the early days.
It's not like i'm ever gonna make money off it, but those pictures in the middle of a book could be like a "name that penis".
Never gonna tell.
posted by ethylene 22 January | 17:56
Count me in as another guy who does not want to see a personals section on Mefi/Mecha.

On dating sites, you have to present a polished front.

Here, I can skip the shower, sit around in my bathrobe scratching my stomach, burp loudly, etc.

posted by jason's_planet 22 January | 21:24
that's great, man. Now close the robe, willya?
posted by jonmc 22 January | 22:35
*polishes front, presents*
posted by danostuporstar 22 January | 23:42
I thought MeFi already had a dating protocol. Aren't you supposed to just mark your desired user as a 'crush' and then watch the sparks of romance fly hither and thither?
posted by chrismear 23 January | 10:38
Dude, I sure hope not. Most of the people who marked me as a 'crush' are male.
posted by jonmc 23 January | 10:51
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