You cannot have your cake and eat it, too (that's why they say that...). You haven't met anyone you like at college; it really has nothing to do with her (and if it does, that needs to change- you can't sit around waiting for one person forever). Tell her that. If she pushes, tell her you'd rather not talk about it with her, due to your history.

Why can't you just say you haven't found anybody that interests you? You don't have to give a list of attributes just that you'll know when you find it and you have yet to find it.

Dude, open the can of worms. If nothing else happens, she probably has friends, and friends tend to be more similar than different.

The wrong idea¿

Why can't you just tell her how you feel about her, can 'o worms opened or not.

Awkward or not.
it's all about trusting yourself and what you'd like.

If it's not what she had in mind, you move on and pour yourself a drink. Or you drink together.

How the hell else are ya gona know, huh¿ ]coming from a guy— it's a people thing not male and/or female thing[

Why can't you just tell her how you feel about her, can 'o worms opened or not.

Because if the feelings aren't reciprocated, he's revealed himself for nothing and that can be embarassing. and certain types of women will take advantage of that.

"certain types of women will take advantage of that"

It has TEETH!!

"I am single because nobody I've met at college is like you my type."

There.

You cannot have your cake and eat it, too (that's why they say that...). You haven't met anyone you like at college; it really has nothing to do with her (and if it does, that needs to change- you can't sit around waiting for one person forever). Tell her that. If she pushes, tell her you'd rather not talk about it with her, due to your history.

Well when I tell her I just haven't met anyone I like, she wants to know why. She wants to know what kind of person I like. and I really have no way of saying that without saying "um people like you, pretty much." I'm not waiting for her, by any means. She just happens to be the exact type of person I would date. Oh I should also mention that she has a boyfriend now, another reason I'm not actively pursuing her.

Why can't you just say you haven't found anybody that interests you? You don't have to give a list of attributes just that you'll know when you find it and you have yet to find it.

I know, I know. But it's not annoying me that she's asking, it's annoying me that I don't really have an answer. And I've said basically the exact same thing to her, that I'll know it when I see it.

Dude, open the can of worms. If nothing else happens, she probably has friends, and friends tend to be more similar than different.

Someone with the username "Mischief" is telling me to open the can of worms. I love it. In most cases I'd say that's good advice, the whole friend thing, but I'd say she's pretty unique. She has friends who share certain aspects; she has very smart friends, funny friends, and I've met many of her Indian friends, I have yet to meet any of her gorgeous friends but maybe she has them, and so on and so forth. But I'm not sure she knows anybody who is a carbon copy of her, y'know? :P

The wrong idea¿

Why can't you just tell her how you feel about her, can 'o worms opened or not.

Awkward or not.
it's all about trusting yourself and what you'd like.

If it's not what she had in mind, you move on and pour yourself a drink. Or you drink together.

How the hell else are ya gona know, huh¿ ]coming from a guy— it's a people thing not male and/or female thing[

Hrm. Half because of what jonmc said: because it can be embaressing. and half because I don't want to make anything awkward between us, as in, I don't want to mess up what we've got now. I love the fact that we are friends. I feel like I can be myself without any filtering what I say, if that makes any sense.

Oh bloody hell, I'm just gonna go for it.
Thanks for the advice everyone :) It makes it easier to think about things/reach a decision when I have input from others. I don't know why.

"I am single because nobody I've met at college is like you my type."

There.

"What is your type."
"uhh....."

I've tried it, trust me :P thanks though

It makes it easier to think about things/reach a decision when I have input from others. I don't know why.

Because I'm a genius, that's why!

Well when I tell her I just haven't met anyone I like, she wants to know why.

That's an impossible question to answer; you should say, I haven't because I haven't.

I really have no way of saying that without saying "um people like you, pretty much."

That's a lie. What are the things about her that you like? She's smart, she's funny, she expects answers to unanswerable questions, she's cute, whatever. That's the kind of girl you're looking for. Although I don't believe in "types"; it's more a mix of chemistry and matching values.

Can't friends become lovers¿
Yes.

citrus is sitting on the fence with the one person who fits the bill..."what I'm looking for in a girl"

So answer. It's you. Not one like yourself. That's beating around the bush.

Why agonize, if the feeling is mutual and it sounds likely not, otherwise she would be giving clearer signals, then I say citrus knows the answer. Might not be what he wants though.

Time to face it and roll the dice.

Shit or get off the pot and continue being friends, but enough of reaching for unobtanium.

Methinks citrus wants to be taken advantage of — eyes wide open in that case.

Look, just download some porn and forget about it. The bird flu will soon mutate our chickens into giant killer chickens with laser beams shooting out of their eyes. And it is best that you are not too attached to this girl when the chickens rip her apart with serrated beaks or burn her to a crisp with their evil laser eyes. Just trust me.

::marks weretable's answer as 'Best Answer,' just to piss everyone off who gave valid advice::
Just had to keep the Ask MeFi feeling. :P

I wish Mecha had the ability to give favorites.

nah. would be bad. although i have always defended it, i think i am about finished with mefi. certainly do not want this place to be like it.

first things first: you gotta shave that goatee. you look like a jonmc wannabe. (remember, there can be only one)

second, without any other information, it sounds like the situation is either:
A) she's playing games with you and/or doesnt know what she, herself, wants
B) she's just, you know, genuinely curious or whatever
C) she wants your dong, but is afraid to say so

(and after a quick glance at your flickr tags, im betting it's either erika or danielle... lol am i rite)

if she is playing some sort of game, then you need to flip the script and make her commit one way or the other, while still allowing everyone to save face. e.g., so instead of going all weird and emo next time she brings 'it' up, casually/playfully/deftly(!) turn the question around on her... something like, "is this your subtle way of asking me out?" or "i dunno, why are YOU still single?" or "if you're trying to get in my pants, i would prefer that you buy me dinner, first" or "why, are you starting to have romantic feelings for me?" etc. these are just ideas... you would definitely need to tailor your response based on your own personal style, the tone/nature of your rapport, etc.

how she responds should help you narrow down between A, B, or C. and by that point, you really should know what to do.

in reality, she has probably already put you into the permanent "friend" category... (i.e., she loves you... like a brother lol) which isnt the best spot to be imho. in 4 years, she'll be married and her husband will politely ask you to stop calling. in which case, it would be best to just cut your losses now and stop sweating this chick. focus on your schoolwork now, and next fall there will be a whole new class of hot young freshmen girls, ripe for some serious deep-dicking.

ymmv

Heee, I kinda like the idea of turning it back to her, as a joke. Why is she all up in your grille anyway?

Hahaha Wedge.
1. I cannot shave the goatee. I tried it recently and I just can't. I have a very weak upperlip that I got from my dad's side. Every male on his side has mustaches because they look crappy without them. I am no different. I cannot "pull off" not having facial hair. I've had this goatee since 9th grade.

I am positive it is B.

It is not Erika or Danielle. It is my friend Anisha. (Tsk, I don't have a single decent picture of her! She just got her hair cut too and it looks so pretty.) But Erika was a good guess though.

Good lines for if the situation ever occurs again, though. And yes, sound advice. I will look forward to next year :P

hah! anisha was my first pick, actually, but then i saw that she was dating sean. not anymore, though, eh?

No, not anymore. Now she's dating "Patrick." I've only met him once, and he never talks. I call him silent Bob.

Sean is actually one of my roommates at college.
I hate him now. We were friends in high school. But he gets on my nerves.

/trivia

I wish Mecha had the ability to give favorites.

Me too.

"I wish Mecha had the ability to give favorites."

So glad it don't.

Well, maybe "give favorites" is the wrong phrase. I wish there was a way I could save my favorite one-liners and posts like I can on Mefi, without tracking the numbers on the posts.

Well, maybe "give favorites" is the wrong phrase. I wish there was a way I could save my favorite one-liners and posts like I can on Mefi, without tracking the numbers on the posts.

Oooh! Ooh I second that!

Also is there a way to see recent activity in threads I've commented in like on MeFi? I assumed there wasn't but I could just be an idiot.

This doesn't exist, but you might drop seanyboy a line and ask him about the possibility of adding something like this.

Which this? TPS's this, or my this?

"a way to see recent activity in threads I've commented in"

citrus freak, you failed to mention she had a bf.

If there's no chemistry, fuhgeddaboudit.

next.

I make it a habit to stay away from girls who are minors. The court requires it too.

BTW, I am kidding

lol alicesshoes, I don't think you (and a few other people) quite understood the question. I was asking, basically, "How do I make a comparison using the girl that could send the wrong signals, without sending the wrong signals? How do I make a comparsion using the girl without using the girl??" etc. Oh and I did mention it somehwere in this thread.

It doesn't matter, I sent her the link to this thread so she could see some of the best answers (especially the giant chicken one).

Taz that'd be awesome because I had a hard time finding my own post.

Terrapin, ignore the courts. Just go for it. Don't let them stand in the way of true love.
:P

CitrusFreak, you can find your posts and comments in your user page (just click your own name or click "profile" in the top-of-the-page navigation) ... So it's actually very easy to keep up. Also, if you have the notification checkmarked, you will get an email whenever there are new comments on a thread you've posted. We just don't have a system that shows when any post you've commented in gets new comments.

You're right citrus, I kind of didn't get it.

However, pointing to this thread to said girrl, you're busted.

Face to face may have been better.

This sending a friend to tell someone you like them ]a lot[ is slack. Don't send a boy to do a man's job.

Er...

lol alicesshoes, I don't think you (and a few other people) quite understood the question.

lol CitrusFreak12, I don't think you quite wanted to hear our answers to the question we understood just fine.

::waves to Anisha::

::waves chicken head at Anisha::

::and then throws it beak-first at TPS::

lol alicesshoes, I don't think you (and a few other people) quite understood the question.
lol CitrusFreak12, I don't think you quite wanted to hear our answers to the question we understood just fine.

Anisha: dude, most of these ppl are not answering your question at all.
Me: hahaha
Me: I know, I know.
Me: but I love them for trying.
Anisha: but it seems like a very clear question to me.
Me: Well thats because you're in the situation and therefore get it.
Me: I can see how ambiguous my question can seem
Me: it may appear that I'm beating around the bush and don't want to ask "HOW DO I PROFESS MY UNDYING LOVE FOR THIS GIRL, NAY, THIS ANGEL WHO HAS DESCENDED FROM THE VERY HIGHEST PEAKS OF HEAVEN ITSELF!?"
Me: or "OMG WHUT DO I DO WITH THIS GIRL WHO IS ASKING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE IZ SHE INTERESTED WHY IS SHE TOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS OMG"
Me: instead of "HOW DO I MAKE A COMPARISON THAT INVOLVES THIS GIRL I'M FRIENDS WITH WITHOUT SENDING THE WRONG MESSAGES?"
Anisha: i think the 3rd one would have been the clearest.
Me: Yeah I should have just said that, then. Damn.

[redacted]

ok... anyway, if she has a boyfriend, and you dont care to date her, and youve managed to be friends with her for this long without offending her, then im sure whatever you wouldve said would probably have sufficed. or what casarkos said.

perhaps some of us were deceived by the simplicity of the question because that seems like a kind of a strange thing to ask about. i dunno. professing your undying love would at least make the situation... interesting :/

Haha Yes, I know. I understand. That's what I meant when I was saying how my question can seem kind of ambiguous or like I'm beating around the bush. I tried to let you guys know it was only "minor girl advice. Nothing major." But yeah, I get it. It was boring.

That, to me, reads like she's fishing around because she's interested in you.
I may be wrong, and I suppose I'd have to know her to know for sure, but it certainly seems that way to me.

Shoot, that's how I act.