Yes. Yes, it is. This is a cruel joke played by God because, the older women get, the more impossible it is to find someone to have sex with other than oneself.

Yeah, I'm finding that to be true as I enter my 30's. Sigh.

well I'm enjoying the heck out of it for now! :)

Tis true. I wonder when I'll hit the high school boy equivalent level. It better be soon, or I might asplode.

Now you know how we felt (when we were in high school).

This has not been my experience at all, and I'm 42. I'm pretty much the same as I ever was.

Some of us felt you up when you were in high school.

Youthful enthusiasm only goes so far.

Just be thankful that you hit your sexual peak at an age when you can appreciate/understand it and not when you're metaphorically running madly round the house barking at everything and banging into anything that isn't nailed down.

*bitter*

i think it's got more to do with your health, experience, comfort, what you're on and who you're with as much as some random hormonal thing.
For women, at least.

What? No more barking and banging?
Bad dog.
Down, boy?

Some of my female friends are just starting to really get into the sex, which makes me wonder what the hell they've been doing all this time.
They, too, are kind of bitter about it.

It coincided with my divorce & eventual longest period of singledom EVAR.

*bitter*

I believe it. Back when I was a salesman, young females looked right through me, but the 40 and up women looked at me like I was lunch, sometimes blatantly flirting. I briefly considered checking into an old age home and becoming a gigolo.

Some of us felt you up when you were in high school.

That was you? I thought there was a snake under my desk. Sorry about the machete.

This is a cruel joke played by God because, the older women get, the more impossible it is to find someone to have sex with other than oneself.

But since, in the case of women, increase in libido is directly linked to increase in age, so the statement can really be boiled down to "The hornier you are, the less likely you are to find someone to have sex with."
I'm not quite sure what seanyboy is saying (I don't recall barking or anything of that sort), but it seems to run in the same vein as the above sentiment.

Tis true. I wonder when I'll hit the high school boy equivalent level. It better be soon, or I might asplode.

Ha.
Haha.
Careful what you wish for.
and good luck with that.
:P

the older women get, the more impossible it is to find someone to have sex with other than oneself.

Not so!

I also have known at least a couple guys who lost their virginity with 'friends of mom's.'

*major squick*

If there were some sort of biological imperative for this, what might it be? Doesn't seem to make much sense to me.

Unless it's like, "how to keep your man" now that you're older, and the girlies look good to him, but they aren't really interested (unless he's mr. big-shot kill-many-foods-make-much-fire #1 guy), and there's his mate, all hot to trot. So he doesn't leave and deprive you of all that important hunting/gathering sustenance (or just dump your ass in the tar pits, stone age divorce style).

mr. big-shot kill-many-foods-make-much-fire #1 guy

this will keep me laughing all day. thank you, taz.

"If there were some sort of biological imperative for this, what might it be?..."

Purely speculation on my part, taz, but I'm betting it's the human selection mechanism for wisdom, in that women who have reached their biological "sexual peak" have lived long enough to learn a few things about the world, and how to stay alive, such that the energy they expend on pregnancy and child rearing is likely not to become a stupid investment. Generally, older mothers would probably do a better job of raising viable offspring, and/or fewer of their live births would die from neglect, cold, hunger, attack, etc.

If there were some sort of biological imperative for this, what might it be?

Dunno, I seem to remember one theory that (at least in your late 30s/early 40s) it was your bodies "last hurrah" kind of way of getting you to get pregnant one more time.

If there were some sort of biological imperative for this, what might it be?

I don't think there is a biological imperative. I think it's an unhandled case.

Basically, evolution and biology only care about you until you are about 30-35. Why? Because by 30-35, most humans were dead. (This is to day, most humans in the entire history of humanity.)

So, evolution only really focused on that time period, because dead people don't matter. In later times, when lifespans reaching 40 and above became common, we've fallen of the spec. Odd things happen, because our bodies were only built to function just so until about 35. After that? Who knows what'll go wonky?

Thus, all the annoyances of age. Evolution didn't bother with them, because there weren't enough people who'd reach that age to materially affect the population's genetic base.

As to older women? Women are like wine and scotch...more expensive when they're older (g,r,d....)

I agree with gaspode. I think my eggs are panicked. My head can't hear their cries, but perhaps my libido does.

I also admit to a sort of use it or loose it mentality. . .like, somee day soon I will be too old to participate in particular shenanigans with any modicum of dignity.

See also

Evolutionary arguments can go only so far. Most people lived longer than 30 or 35 before this millennium; on average, the mean human lifespan was often a lower number than today, but that's because of the higher frequencies of things that kill young people -- child mortality, death in/related to childbirth, and physical injury. Humans lived to be old from hundreds of years BC, at least.

Think of the advantages to the group of having non-reproducing old people around: they have accumulated useful knowledge and perhaps resources (land, money, goods) that, when contributed to the extended family (i.e., not in competition with any young children of their own), make a new baby's chance for making it through the dangerous first four years far greater.

So I wouldn't say it's that evolution 'doesn't care.' Instead, I'd say that it's in evolution's interest to keep a woman pregnant from the onset of menses until her body no longer wants to spare the resources to devote to carrying a baby -- when menopause arrives. So evolution would certainly not stop 'caring' before the end of menstruation, at the very least.

In addition, in a pure-evolution fantastical context like the one people tend to imagine in these sorts of arguments, a woman who's thirty-five and has been pregnant or nursing for twenty years and has already borne ten children is going to need a lot greater incentive to hop into the sack and make more. So perhaps by increasing libido in the late 30s, the body is throwing fuel onto the fire to make it more enticing to do something which, if you thought more about it, you might very sensibly choose to avoid. You know?

Humans lived to be old from hundreds of years BC, at least.

Though let it be on the record that I understand that is not that long ago, just trying to help erase the idea that people all had shorter lives 'back then', as in before the modern era.

In my marriage, it has been ebb and flow, with some very unhappy periods during which my wife had no interest at all.

Lately, she has adopted a post-menopausal "use it or lose it" attitude, much to my approval. She initiates getting laid more often than I do, and sometimes she has to wait a few days until I am in the mood, not tired, etc.

I can't say that it is an ever rising graph of libinal interest, but maybe there is an upward trend.

I'm sneaking this in at work so I don't have time to read all the comments, but isn't this the opposite of what happens in many cultures? Older men usually 'marry' younger girls. Shouldn't the libido thing be reversed?

Doesn't seem to really jibe, IMO.

I loved that book, Miko. It made me both laugh and cry.

All I have to say is: I'm excited.

and you just can't hide it.

WOMEN! WHEN I COULD FUCK NONSTOP FOR A MONTH THEY NEVER WANTED TO DO IT. AND NOW THAT I'M TOO FRICKEN TIRED ITS ALL THEY CAN THINK ABOUT.

I think, in general, sex gets more nuanced and detailed, as one goes through life. All you have to do is read some of the stuff that teens post about their experiences, and generally one would not want to be there, even with the brand new, buff bods, and everything.

So, if the male libido decreases, does a mid-50's gay male couple simply sit on the couch shrugging "you wanna?" "I dunno. what's on cable." Coversely, lesbian midlife must be one big orgy, if this all pans out.

jonmc, at least with my friends, gay and lesbian couples who have been together for a long time have less sex than het couples. dunno why that is, but anecdotal evidence I have heard indicates such. Please feel free to correct me if you know otherwise.

Also, since men usually barbeque, it's rare to find a lez grill gathering.

Yes, it is true. Dammit. *sobs*

This is the second time today I've been reminded that "Youth is wasted on the young". If only I was like this BEFORE I became a mother, owned a business, had all this responsibility, blah blah blah.

While my current lover FriendWithBenefits is very wonderful, he just isn't up for it as much as I am. (Pun NOT intended.) It's enough to make me ALMOST miss my psycho ex, who was totally insane and impossible to live with, but the side effects of his medication included anorgasmia. On top of his wild libido, he had an erection that was pretty much permanent,was always raring to go and made the energiser bunny look like something that doesn't last very long at all.But that wasn't enough for me to keep the batshitcrazybustard around

Some mid-50s gay men rekindle their libidos with body modification (weightlifting, piercing, etc.). At least, that's what I gathered from the nipple-stretching question.

goshling, did you marry my first husband?

(box, when you say "mid-50s gay men" I'm imagining mid-1950s gay men. The picture isn't completely clear, but they're sitting on a totally rockin' Jetson's sofa and wearing cardigans.)

(Now I'm trying, in my mind, to combine the Jetsons sofa and cardigans with the bear stuff--bodybuilding, piercings, cigars, etc.)

goshling. . .well it seems a cruel fact of life that great sex usually comes along with various deal-breaking forms of misery.

It's not fair.

he had an erection that was pretty much permanent

well, at least you always had a hatrack.

Since my mid-30s (I'm going on 41 now), I've had years where I was quite active, and years where I just took some time off from the whole sweaty business. During the active years, it certainly was physically quite fun, and my body experienced things it wasn't capable of when it was young. I'm certainly aware that I'm not as hot-looking as I was when I was young and cute (and too immature to appreciate it), but during the times when I was interested, I was generally able to find willing partners who could live with my imperfections in exchange for the enthusiasm, and I assume that I will again when I'm interested again. There are days, though, when I feel less optimistic about the whole business.

I'm betting it's the human selection mechanism for wisdom
If it is, I've yet to see any kind of increase in wisdom in the general population.

Honestly, I don't mind the decrease in libido as I age. It can be like a burden sometimes.

I am among those who wish my libido would calm down. (Well, not really.) I've always been of the frisky variety, and yes, it has been hard to find someone who can keep up with me. I think as I've aged, I've become much happier with who I am, and more certain of myself, so I think that adds something to it. Plus, with a wonderful partner, I think the quality has much improved over the quantity of my youth.

Please god, don't let that happen to me. I'm already about to rip my hair out in my late 20s!
(and I think it's made worse by my thing for older guys... the ones my age can't keep up, yet I keep expecting 40 year olds to!)