Eww. Ewwwww. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Heh, the old Hershey Squirts eh? Yep, good times.

Congratulations, my man.

Oh sure, keep all the fun for yourself.

You haven't lived until he throws up in your mouth while you're kissing him.

iconomy, oh noooooooo!

Kids: Instead of heading for the toilet they come running towards you to inform you of their distress. Then they barf all over you, your bed, your hair. Great times. :)

Boy, I sure am looking forward to Part II!

Oh man. I've experienced all of the above, and I don't even have any kids yet.

I am laughing like a loon Specklet. Do you have pets or were these boyfriends? ;)

Well dear brainwidth the quantity and smell of the poop right now is tolerable. Wait till he starts eating real foods. That, is a smell I want to forget.

Wait till he throws up and after you just cleaned up the place, he throws up once more.

Or wait till he is "potty trained" but you find your favorite pillow/coat/dress all smelly and such.

Yes, the good times. You have not seen anything yet. :)

Nevertheless, congratulatulatulatulations!

tssk, I could have told you that! Did you get photos? I got photos - I plan to have a little album ready for the day she brings home a date that I don't approve of and want rid of fast.... I'll just whip out ye old family album.. "...and here's when she did her famed rocket-poops, shooting it all over the place. Had to duck when changing diapers. She even hit the wall that time. We had to repaint. Ah. Memories."

see also

lolz. Congratulations old bean.

Well, don't say I didn't warn you....good thing babies are really, really, really cute. We'd never put up with all of that otherwise.

But, Iconomy, you said YOU LOVED ME!!!!!

*sob*

Congratulations, brainwidth!!

I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to tell you to that these precious moments go by so fast and that you should cherish every one of them. But I won't. Because infants suck a lot of the time. They're cranky and they distribute bodily secretions indiscriminately.

I find that dressing them in funny costumes makes it more bearable. If they're going to crap on you, they might as well be dressed as a bunny. S'not scat, s'cute.

Good thing you're about to have another one, jrossi!

:)

Don't remind me, pups! This time I know to stock up on rain ponchos.

My newborn youngest brother peed in my mouth (just a squirt) when I was too dumb of a 9-year-old to know not to stand at the foot end of the basinett while he was getting a diaper change. Thankfully, no projectile pooping.


MetaFilter: They're cranky and they distribute bodily secretions indiscriminately.

Whoops, wrong site. ;)

Yup, part of having a baby. My daughter has splattered me with pretty much every bodily fluid she makes:
pee
poo
snot
spit
tears
puke
blood
lymph
ear wax

And for the record, the first poo event was on day 12 or so in the NICU. I had a hospital gown and was wearing chinos. She was in my lap and I felt the thunder as great gouts of poo the color and texture of pureed spinach fountained up the chimney formed by her cheeks and diaper. She totally coated my lap in poo. The attending nurse asked her supervisor if I could borrow a pair of scrubs. The supervising nurse, without looking up, said, "hospital policy - we don't lend out scrubs". The attending nurse said, "look at him." After the laughter died down, they got me some scrubs. I think the hopsital policy should clearly be ammended to be "we don't lend out scrubs unless it's hilarious or tragic or both."