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05 January 2007

Life, as they say, is just one thing after another. →[More:]. I just learned that payroll fucked up direct deposit and that we're not getting paid today. Well, then I'm not working. We'll pull my cubie Enisha's space heater out from under her desk and sit around it singing summer camp songs. or death metal, whatever works.

Also, my landlady hears ghostly running water. She complains that we run the water too much, even when we're not running it. We had to loudly convince her of this. Some crazy people hear voices, she hears pipes. What this means I don't know.

post by: jonmc at: 09:46 | 32 comments

Does your fridge have an icemaker? Toilet valve leaking?

posted by Doohickie 05 January | 09:48

Space heater camp sounds like a great solution to not being paid. You should see if you can get some Jiffy Pop to pop over that heater, that would be good fun!

I, however, did get paid and they are going to wring a whole lot of work out of me today.

posted by fenriq 05 January | 10:28

Losers! I got paid, and I'm not doing anything, anyway! HAHAHAHAHAHA! God, I hate my fucking useless job!

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 05 January | 10:38

Can I join the campfire? I'll bring marshmallows. And schnapps.

posted by Pips 05 January | 11:00

Polterpipes? Or maybe a ghostly tapparition?

posted by dodgygeezer 05 January | 11:01

Could be, dodgy... I once had to invite her upstairs to inspect to convince her no water was running... Elderly widow landlady's are trying on the nerves... this is the third one we've had. If only we could buy a place; no more landlords!

posted by Pips 05 January | 11:08

The plumber in the walls!

My brother used to have this horrible little apartment in Hells Kitchen. We stayed there for New Years 1999; my son was about 8 or so. The plumbing was so loud it was unbelievable & he couldn't sleep. He kept saying, "What IS that noise?" and we would say, "It's the plumbing in the walls, honey, ignore it." Finally he shouted, "What is the plumber doing in the walls?! TELL HIM TO GET OUT OF THERE!"

posted by mygothlaundry 05 January | 11:10

hey, pips. I feel for you. An elderly (esp Greek) lady can be a pain.
As an aside, do you have radiators in the apt? Some times when there is too much steam in the pipes it sounds like running water...

posted by carmina 05 January | 11:10

steam heat radiators. oh, gawd, I am so tired.

posted by carmina 05 January | 11:13

Elderly widow landlady's are trying on the nerves... this is the third one we've had.

All immigrant ladies, too. One Greek, One Italian, One Romanian, all fucking nuts. The coolest landlord ever for us was this fat supermarket manager named Conrad who never bothered us about anything. He did have a bad case of plumber's butt, and a weird grudge against squirrels. When we told him that one had snuck in and chewed the plug off our air conditioner, he went all Bill-Murray-in Caddyshack on it's ass, traps on the roof, the works.

posted by jonmc 05 January | 11:15

Hey Dude
It's completely unacceptable that payroll fucked up the direct deposit. Totally unacceptable. Go make a stink, tell them to cut you a live check or demand to know when you are getting paid and tell them they can pay any late fees that you might miss as a result of their fuckup. Sounds too much like work right?

Have a big cup of coffee and fucking let them have it. If you have a payroll person or an accounts person or an hr person or whatever the fuck it is, they just fucked up the only part of their job that is really important.

I do fucking payroll, it's easier than falling of a log.

On the subject of the landlady, rent a sawzall from Home Depot and wait till just after dinner time and then just saw a jonmc sized hole through her wall and step through and say "I think I've found the problem."

posted by Divine_Wino 05 January | 11:17

Go make a stink, tell them to cut you a live check or demand to know when you are getting paid and tell them they can pay any late fees that you might miss as a result of their fuckup.

They've already sent out a damage control email saying that they'll do that (authored by same idjit galoot HR lady who gave me shit over taking time off after my surgery last year). I'm just irked over the incompetence around here. This happened before about a year ago, and they switched payroll companies over it. Whatever. I betcha Urinal Talker got paid.

posted by jonmc 05 January | 11:26

Maybe they screwed up the deposit, or maybe they are having trouble making payroll....hmmm...I bet you get your checks AFTER 2 pm.

posted by bunnyfire 05 January | 11:28

I'm on direct deposit, bunny. My supervisor actually just handed out the checks. My cubie Kevin reffered to them as 'Placebo Paychecks.'

Pretty soon we'll be payed fucking scrip for the company store.

*loads sixteen tons...*

posted by jonmc 05 January | 11:31

Oh, god, I love our landlady so much... she's an angel, I tell you. Reason #589 I can't stand the idea of losing this apartment (if we move). We're now trying to scheme how we can keep it, plus have a place in Athens. o_0

Crazy landlords/ladies can make life hell. Didn't you say she has a son? (like... with the same name as her cat or something? Or am I imagining?) If so, perhaps you could talk to him, and ask him to convince her?

posted by taz 05 January | 11:56

Didn't you say she has a son? (like... with the same name as her cat or something? Or am I imagining?) If so, perhaps you could talk to him, and ask him to convince her?

Yup. They have a weird relationship. She drives him batshit and then he passes it along to us.

The landlady's usual ensemble in a floral hosedress sandals and huge Terminator old-people sunglasses, just to give you a more wonderful mental picture.

posted by jonmc 05 January | 12:05

Crazy day at work for me--new Congress means a bunch of extra work. It'll pass, though.

posted by mrmoonpie 05 January | 12:38

Working from home today.
≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by essexjan 05 January | 12:42

When I lived at home, my Dad was always bitching that I was taking too long of a shower in the morning. This went on for several weeks, me getting bitched at for taking too long... So one day, I decided not to shower in the morning, for whatever reason, and my Mom says Dad said you were too long again in the shower today. I was so pissed off at this point I screamed at her I didn't even take a GD shower today! Turns out it was the stream that ran in front of the house and my Dad in his half wakefulness state was hearing the running water, and assuming it was the shower, but it wasn't. So I got to tell him to piss off, in a nice way of course.

posted by getoffmylawn 05 January | 12:48

1) Payroll, huh? How much longer before all employees are required to bring in their own toilet paper?

2) Tell the landlady those are the radiators she's hearing. It's still winter, after all.

posted by Smart Dalek 05 January | 13:39

Run-JMC: A Story To Ease Your Pain -

When I was working at Starbux, my first paycheck went through four iterations of Where It Was (first, it was with the rep who would be on-site in an hour. Second, it was at the front desk at the agency I worked for. Thirdly, it hadn't arrived yet. Fourth, I called them and demanded one Fed Ex'ed to me by 9am the following day. THAT was the one that actually happened.)

Long story short? Four rounds of theWhere's My Pay? game got the admin fired who was in charge of doing payroll at the agency, courtesy of yours truly. Best part of said story? They paid me twice because firing the person who originally did the paperwork wasn't around anymore to keep track. :)

BTW, always do what the Wino tells you to do. His voice is the sound of wisdom in your head.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 05 January | 13:59

BTW, always do what the Wino tells you to do.

Not after the incident with the bagpipes and the horse.

posted by jonmc 05 January | 14:10

as if, dude! Betcha before you started that whole episode, you din't even know horses COULD play bagpipes!

posted by Lipstick Thespian 05 January | 14:52

Look man, everybody got what they wanted and we didn't have to listen to the bagpipes anymore, right?

posted by Divine_Wino 05 January | 15:23

j o n m c t h r o w a c u p o f

s t a l e p e e a t f o r m e r m a y o r

E d K o t c h ! 1 ! 1 !*

Just testing LT's theory here.

*that's what wisdom looks like in written form.

posted by Divine_Wino 05 January | 15:29

*gets up, slowly lumbers to restroom with coffee cup*

posted by jonmc 05 January | 15:34

mwwhahahaha! Yessssssss Wino, make the puppet DANCE FOR ME!

(p.s. I put my box in a box for you!)

posted by Lipstick Thespian 05 January | 17:01

Ed Koch/Grandpa Munster? You decide...

≡ Click to see image ≡

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Pips 05 January | 17:35

Grandpa Al was a lovely man, very sweet and a far left nut, just my kind of guy. I used to see him in the street and I would shout: "Grandpa Al, I love you."

He would shout back "I love you too." Seriously every time, like at least four or five times. He had a restaurant in the village for a while and a show on wbai and he was always wandering around downtown. One of my favorite people. May he rest in peace.

Ed Koch is a goon and an appeaser.

Sorry to go all serious about such a silly juxtaposition.

posted by Divine_Wino 05 January | 19:45

Yeah, the comparison was admittedly "surface deep." I've heard similar fond accounts of Al Lewis. I don't quite share the Koch antagonism, though.

posted by Pips 05 January | 21:56

I think I really just wanted to say something nice about grandpa al. I don't care for ole ed that much but I have no idea why I took such a strong position. Let's blame it on the quitting smoking.

posted by Divine_Wino 06 January | 01:52

No worries, DW. Congrats on not smoking. Maybe you'll rub off on my better half. : )

*offers stick of Juicy Fruit*

posted by Pips 06 January | 13:38

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