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26 December 2006

Boxing Day [More:]I now understand there's no such thing as Boxing Day in Ohio after people giving me odd looks when I mentioned it.

Today Diane and I, and a friend of hers, cooked dinner at a local church, a free dinner for anyone in the community who wanted to eat it.

We made a ham, cheese and potato bake, with green beans, salad and rolls, followed by pineapple upsidedown cake. It was hard work, but fun, and we over-catered. We didn't know if we would have a crowd or just a few and it was somewhere in between.

There were a few old people who didn't want to be on their own, and the rest were people who were just down on their luck.

One family broke my heart - a man with three small children, two girls aged 4 and 3, and a little boy aged about 18 months (he was wearing baby Carhartts, unbelievably cute). The 3-year-old had had brain surgery and had to have her head shaved, so Annie, the 4-year-old had also wanted her head shaved too so her sister wouldn't feel bad.

Annie was an absolute treasure, bright, engaging and a total delight. But unless she finds a mentor at some point in her life to guide her, she really doesn't stand a chance, I fear. All three children were dirty, their clothes were filthy and they devoured the food in a way that suggested it was their first good meal of the day.

Most of the women there were younger than me, but looked years older. Hardly any of them had all their teeth, one woman aged around (guessing here) 35 had no teeth at all. A lot of the diners had mental problems or learning difficulties. Some of them were addicts or alcoholics.

Tonight I feel incredibly lucky to have the life I have today. If I had not stopped drinking when I did ... there but for the grace of God.
Funny you mention this, essexjan. Tonight, over dinner, I was telling my partner about how I ran into a client of mine earlier today, and how it occurred to me that even though we wished each other the joy of the season, none of my clients, or their children more particularly, have had an especially joyous Christmas this (or any) year.

I'm a poverty lawyer who works with poor people who are living with HIV/AIDS in NY, and it just about broke my heart this year to hear one of my clients (not the same one I met in the street today) say how his three young daughters wanted gifts for Christmas that he knew he would never be able to get for them. The eldest was born with HIV (one of the few remaining kids in NY living with perinatally-contracted HIV) and their mother died in 2005 of complications related to AIDS. My client's done a bangup job of raising these kids by himself since then, but he just doesn't have the money for the extra stuff, you know?

You're right, and I often think the same thing when I deal with my clients -- it is a thin line indeed that separates us all, and I am truly grateful for what I and my loved ones have.

(On a more positive note, my boss and I got the three girls what they wanted for Christmas, but I still felt sad when I saw my other client in the street today -- this is a season of so much joy, and yet so much sorrow for so many people.)
posted by Lassie 27 December | 00:03
A friend of mine runs a successful chain of pet supply stores. She grew up in Eastern Indiana, the fourth or fifth of seven or eight kids, and, according to her, never owned clothes from a store before she was old enough to drink. Her parents were neglectful and not very good.

She's totally together, and totally cool. Worked a few jobs, put herself through school, worked harder, bought the business, changing its focus. Now it thrives.

I often see kids who I think don't stand a chance. Then I think of my friend. Bright stars rise to people the firmament, even from the darkest depths.
posted by Hugh Janus 27 December | 11:31
Thank you for this, ej. It's good to remember. I easily could've been one of those kids, at one time. It makes a difference, what y'all did, it really does.
posted by Pips 27 December | 14:08
Worst meetup ever! || Gerald Ford has died.

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