Orange Swan Presents.... Here's a story for Christmas. That is, it's not a story about Christmas, but the story is my Christmas gift to all of you. Hope it fits....→[More:]A friend of mine, "Jay", was a Rubik's Cube whiz kid when he was about eleven. He could solve a Rubik's Cube in eleven seconds. (The world record is about nine seconds.) It got to the point where the only thing holding him back from improving his time was the mechanism itself. He had a collection of Rubik's Cubes and used to take them apart and lubricate them. Some of his friends used butter for this, but Jay used Pam. He bought his own can of Pam and kept it on his closet shelf.

One day when Jay came home from school his mother called to him, "Young man, come in here. I want to talk to you." Upon going to his mother, he saw the Pam standing on the dining room table. Jay's mother had found the Pam while putting away Jay's laundry.

She said to him, "Are you doing drugs?"

Jay said, "No, mom! No, I'm not doing drugs! If you found drugs in my room I didn't put them there! I'm not doing drugs!"

His mother believed him, but she gazed at him for a few moments with a mystified look on her face. There was a perfectly timed comedic pause of four beats, and then the look of puzzlement on his mother's face was supplanted by one of horror. She said, "OH MY GOD!!! Go to your room! I don't want to talk about it! Go to your room!"

Jay went to his room and got his Rubik's Cube collection, took them back to his mother and showed her what the Pam was for. She said, "Ohhhhh...", and gave him back his Pam.

The funniest thing was that the woman's second theory on her son's use of the Pam gave Jay the idea of actually trying it. He said he tried it twice, but it didn't do anything for him - it was too slippery.

But I just love to tease Jay about his first girlfriend... Pam.