MetaChat - Somewhere just north of Kansas City, there's a town called Knob Noster

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22 December 2006

Somewhere just north of Kansas City, there's a town called Knob Noster Which means "Our Knob," doesn't it? Though somehow my girlfriend and I got off on the tangent of Knob Gnoster, the cock that knows.
Then we segued into "My dick solves crimes."→[More:]

The two crucial questions are: How well would this work as a chat-up line? Who could pull this off?

The second question: What crimes?

We assume that the backstory for Knob Noster (just looks better that way) is that he was working at the Smithsonian and touched John Dillinger's mummified cock, allowing the repentant and tortured soul of the criminal to possess Knob's knob, using it to solve crime.

We have yet to come up with the mechanism for this crime fighting.

post by: klangklangston at: 12:44 | 15 comments

"My dick solves crimes."

The second question: What crimes?

Serial Kitten Killings

posted by jonmc 22 December | 12:46

Heh heh, you said "pull this off".

A: him.

posted by danostuporstar 22 December | 12:51

wait... why would Dillinger's cock want to solve crimes? Until you can answer this question, I can't move forward.

posted by taz 22 December | 12:51

let me be more clear: why would Dillinger's cock want to solve crimes?

posted by taz 22 December | 12:52

The second question: What crimes?

I don't know. Ask the Head Detective.

posted by jrossi4r 22 December | 13:19

Is that a private dick?

posted by pieisexactlythree 22 December | 13:30

To answer taz, repentant and tortured soul.

Also, has anyone made a long arm of law joke yet?

posted by danostuporstar 22 December | 13:34

Damn, that at least the sixth time today, I've left off a word or a suffix or something. I should just shut up.

posted by danostuporstar 22 December | 13:35

Gah, that's!

posted by danostuporstar 22 December | 13:36

Now I keep picturing David Caruso taking off his glasses and saying soulfully, "My dick....solves crimes."

YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!

posted by jrossi4r 22 December | 13:38

The mechanism for fighting crime here is a kind of Columbo thing, with a cocky twist! The perps are all like "this guy's just a jerk-off, he'll never finger it out," so they're all relaxed and overconfident... and unknowingly bare too much. Then - BAM! Knob Noster shows them what thinking with your dick really means!

posted by taz 22 December | 13:51

Now I keep picturing David Caruso taking off his glasses and saying soulfully, "My dick....solves crimes."

OMG! Fuck yeah! That's the funniest thing I've heard all week!

posted by pieisexactlythree 22 December | 13:59

"let me be more clear: why would Dillinger's cock want to solve crimes?"

Because he's in Hell or something (Tartus?) and needs to atone for all the rhymin' and stealin' he did.

But you're thinking a Columbo-meets-porn (Cumlumbo?) "Just one more thing..."?

posted by klangklangston 22 December | 18:32

And now I'll giggle every time I see David Caruso.

(Yes, I should be finishing my paper. Why do you ask?)

posted by klangklangston 22 December | 18:33

Is that a dick in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

posted by eekacat 22 December | 20:53

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