Here, I'll start:

Surprise Cookies (Makes 2 1/2 dozen)

Cookies:
1 3/4 C all-purpose flour
3/4 C unsweetened cocoa powder (not Dutch-process)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
1/2 C (1 stick) softened unsalted butter
1 C granulated sugar
1 large egg @ room temperature
1/2 C whole milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
About 15 marshmallows, halved crosswise

Frosting:
3 C confectioners' sugar (you may need to fudge with this)
6 Tbsp (3/4 stick) softened unsalted butter
1/4 C plus 1 1/2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder (not Dutch-process)
1/4 C plus 2 Tbsp whole milk
3/4 tsp vanilla extract

-Preheat oven to 375. Sift together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, & salt into medium bowl - set aside. Put butter and sugar in another bowl & mix on medium-high until pale & fluffy (abt 2 min). Reduce speed and mix in egg, milk, vanilla. Mix in flour mixture ~1/2 C at a time until combined.
-Drop dough onto baking sheets lined w/ parchment paper (or greased) spacing ~ 2in apart. Bake until firm (8-10 min). Immediately press a marshmallow half on top of each cookie, and then bake again just until marshmallows begin to melt (about 2 minutes more). Let cool completely on sheets on a wire rack (or your burner grates).
-Frosting: Put confectioners' sugar in a medium bowl & set aside. Melt butter with cocoa powder in a small saucepan over medium-low heat stirring occasionally. Add butter mixture to confectioners' sugar. Whisk in milk & vanilla. Spoon frosting on top of each cookie to cover the marshmallow. Let it set about 10 min.

Whew! I know it seems like a lot, but it's truly not bad once you're in the groove. PLUS they're delicious.

My Mom's legendary apple pie recipe and other voices on AskMe.

I can make good pies, but apparently I suck at typing them.

Pfeffernuesse

2 c. sugar
2 c. dark molasses (or 1 cup molasses and 1 cup dark honey)
2 c. butter (1 lb)
3 eggs (beaten)
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground allspice
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. cloves
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. cardamom (sometimes hard to find but you can do without)
1 tsp. coriander
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 c. hot water
3 tsp. baking soda
11 to 12 c. plain flour (depending on dryness)

Place the sugar, molasses, butter in a double boiler (or small saucepan) and boil, stirring occasionally for 5 minutes. Cool mixture to warm. Pour warm sugar mixture into a very large bowl. Add beaten eggs and spices and mix. Dissolve baking soda in hot water and add to mix. Gradually add flour while mixing. Dough needs to be very stiff.

Chill dough thoroughly (at least overnight). Roll small amounts of dough into pencil or thin rope shapes, not more than 1/4 inch diameter (greasing your hands with a little butter or Crisco may help, as will working with cold dough), and cut off 1/8 inch pieces. (Optional, but recommended: roll pieces into small balls) Place pieces on cookie sheets (without touching each other) and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.

Refrigerate unused dough for up to 4 days while baking batches.

Makes hundreds and hundreds of pfeffernuesse. This sized batch can take a small family several evenings to bake, and will yield several gallon canisters full of hard little brown spiced treats, perfect for tossing a handful in coffee or milk, for breakfast or a late night treat.

Santa loves 'em!

Speculaas aka Spicy Sinterklaas Cakes. This recipe is a day late for the Feast Day of Saint Nicholas, but the cookies are yummy any old time.

2 tablespoons milk
2/3 cup dark brown sugar
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chopped slivered almonds
2 tablespoons chopped candied citron
2/3 cup butter
1/2 cup slivered almonds

In a large bowl, dissolve the brown sugar in milk. Combine the flour, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, baking powder and salt. Stir the dry ingredients into the sugar and milk. Mix in 2 tablespoons of almonds and candied citron. Cut in the butter until it starts to form a dough, then knead on a lightly floured surface until smooth. Cover dough and chill for about 1 hour for easier handling.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Dust a wooden speculaas mold lightly with cornstarch. Firmly press the dough into the mold. Run a knife around the edges to trim off excess dough. Gently lift dough out of the mold or tap out onto a cookie sheet. Press remaining almond slivers into cookies to match the designs.

Bake for 15 minutes in the preheated oven, just until the edges begin to darken. If your cookies are more than 1/2 inch thick, bake at 300 degrees F (150 degrees C) for up to 30 minutes. Cool cookies on wire racks to crisp. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to a month. The flavor will get better with age.

Chemical pie

Ingredients:
One store-bought graham-cracker crust.
One package pudding mix or instant pudding.
Two cans of fwoosh-cream.

Step one: make the pudding, following its directions.
Step two: unload a can of fwoosh into it, and fold in.
Step three: unwrap pie crust, and pour glop into it.
Step four: refrigerate and wait.

Before serving: more fwoosh-cream on top. And some directly in the mouth.

Completely artificial in every way, but with its own goodness. Similar to Kraft mac'n'cheez (Kraft Dinner to godless commie foreigners).

Alternate Pumpkin Pie

Time: 2 hours

Enough pastry for 2 pie crusts. Either homemade or not.

5 cups diced butternut squash
2/3 cup raisins
1 cup light-brown sugar
3 tablespoons flour, plus flour for rolling pastry
1 1/2 tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon heavy cream


1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Combine squash, raisins, brown sugar, flour, orange juice concentrate and the spices in a bowl.

2. Divide pastry in slightly unequal halves, roll out larger portion on lightly floured board, and line pie pan. Spoon in pumpkin mixture. Dot with butter. Cover with top crust. Seal and crimp edges, brush with cream, and cut a few decorative slits in top for steam to escape.

3. Bake 15 minutes. Reduce the heat to 350 degrees, and continue baking until the crust is golden brown, about 1 hour.

You can also make this with pumpkin, instead of squash. The recipe source suggests: "Serve warm or at room temperature with ice cream or sorbet." We served it with whipped cream. Mmmmmmmmmm whipped cream. It's a yummy yummy unexpected pie. Not too sweet with an excellent texture.