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The woman who sits next to me at work was releasing silent-but-violent ones today. I went for a long walk at lunchtime, but feel I wasted the lungfuls of fresh air as soon as I walked back to our cubiezone.
What I hate is when you sit in a cloth chair after someone has been gassy and suddenly the odor of dozens of trapped farts erupts forth. I think the chemicals in chair upholstery actually makes the gas more potent or something.
I wouldn't be so mad about missing my connection; but I would forward them the medical bills for the panic attack I'd have the minute I'd smell the burning smell. I would freak the fuck out.
See, I knew I loved you all here but now you're like family.
We camp sometimes and tell fart stories around the fire. We're passing the legends down to the younger generation. The stories have names. The God-Amighty. The Linville Caverns. The Uncle ____ Airplane Fart. The Beach at the Grocery Store, or the Grocery Store at the Beach, even. The Broken Neck. The younger kids are just starting to tell their own little stories. Nothing like family, man.
'Twas a gift to find a good fart story today of all days.
BTW, I found out today that the main features on the flight to the US next week are "Talledega Nights", "The Da Vinci Code" and "Elf". I'm flying American Airlines, as was the passenger in the linked story. I would guess farting non-stop is more entertaining than watching those turkeys.
My sense of smell is numb when I fly. I can't smell much of anything, except for the food carts, which smell all weird. I can never smell my own farts on airplanes.
I assumed it was like that for everyone. Lighting illegal matches to cover up something other people can't really smell all that much seems doubly stupid.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
