Thanks for pointing this out, EJ. I imagine that my grandmother probably felt the same way when my parents got married out of high school and had 4 kids in 7 years. (The fifth would come later.) We were never on public assistance, but our house was poor and chaotic and she was constantly bringing us food and clothes.

I hope the author realizes the impact she can have on those kids. My grandmother was the most important person in my life and the provider of the only truly unconditional love I've ever felt. I miss her every day.

Thanks for linking the article, jan.

It is sad, similar to jrossi I saw my grandmother go through some of the same things with my mum and my mum go through it with a couple of my brothers. And I'm quite sure those two brothers will go through it with their own children.

On a more selfish (?) note, it's one of the reasons I decided I didn't want children. I know they can bring great joy to a person's life, but they can bring great pain as well. I just don't think I'm up to the task.

This had a lot of resonance for me; my mom is custodial grandma to three of my brother's kids. It's sort of been a train wreck for her (and us), they all have special needs. The oldest are just turning 18 (yesterday) and one is still basically a 13-year-old emotionally, the other is not much better but has gotten himself involved with a 19-year-old with a newborn and I can just see this scenario playing out with him.

It is sad. It's sad when people who cannot live adequately on what they can earn keep popping out more dependents. It's sad for the kids, another generation who only know poverty and hand outs and feelings of entitlement. I feel for the woman who cares for her grandchildren yet feels trapped and limited as to what she can do to help them. She just may be the only stable influence they will have.

That was worth reading.

I "know" so many people just like them. They are tenants of ours, always a little late on the rent, always promising to do better, always wanting more, but never quite knowing how to sacrifice to get there. They skip out mid-month, leaving half of their belongings behind. They are always starting again. It's always hard for them, and it's not always their fault. Sometimes it is.

And that could be, if not for a few different steps long ago, me.

Wow. She adopted her son, then advised his wife to send him to jail, probably on a felony assault rap. Once he was out on probation, completely unemployable - as are all ex-cons - she decided he shouldn't reproduce any more. After all, unemployed people shouldn't reproduce - every middle class woman knows that.

But she knew he wanted a vehicle. So did she give him a vehicle? Sort of - she traded him a van for a vasectomy. I'm surprised she didn't offer to up it to a Corvette if he'd consent to being castrated.

What a wonderful story. I'm glad that we have shining examples like this, stories that show how people who are in control of their own lives must also take control of the lives of their inferiors. Sallie Tisdale must feel like a woman who has her life together, a woman whose powerful decisions influence the lives of others in very meaningful ways!

For reasons I can't quite pinpoint, it affected me deeply.

Well, from what you've said here, I gather that you're a self-made woman. You were born into not very posh circumstances. If I remember correctly, your family didn't support your dreams at all. You had to work your way through school. And decades later, you've done very well with your life. You have a good job. People respect you. You took action to improve your life and you succeeded.

Here, you have someone with advantages you didn't have who managed to fuck them up. You strike me as a very self-reliant person; this guy is still sponging off Mom in his late twenties.

Maybe it's the contrast between your life path and his?

I am curious ikkyu2, jason's_planet, do you have any children?

what a load of ignorant, middle class horseshit

Nope.

I thought not ikkyu2. I agree with both you and jason's_planet and I also think you are both mistaken. When you become a parent some things become a lot less black and white.

Hard to explain but a lot of things are a bit grey when it comes to kids.