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16 November 2006
Name something you're really bad at that makes others laugh at you.
I gotta see a YouTube of this. 'Cause I've seen LT's still picture of you sitting on a sailboat, and it wasn't hilarious. Sweet, but nothing like funny.
Playing cards. You can try and explain the rules of a game to me in words of one syllable, and still I don't get it.
Video card games I'm ok with, but real life card & people games leave me stumped and everyone laughing at my feeble-minded efforts to not screw up the game.
Oh, talking on the phone taz -- me too! Or actually more specifically: calling people. It makes me very anxious. I have walked across campus (15 min walk) so many times to speak with someone face to face rather than call them... it's dumb.
I have poor hand eye coordination. I can't draw, or hit a softball, or knit, or anything like that. I also break things. So if you have me over for, say, croquet, pictionary, and ceramics, hilarity could ensue.
paulsc: Watching me try to sit still is often funny because I can't do it. I'm a hyperkinetic person, and at the slightest impulse will hop up from my chair to do some little task. I fidget like mad, spin pens, and joggle my leg up and down -- all of which makes people nutso. I have had friends challenge me to sit perfectly still for five minutes, and have found it excruciating.
Blowing my nose. It's shaped in such a way that even a tiny, polite puff into a hankie makes a horrendously loud "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" noise. I spent years trying to work around the issue, but now I've just resigned myself to frightening the weak and elderly.
It's true, mrs.pants, this one time I was telling a story about a soccer playing lephrakhan and as I was telling it I stepped on a piece of gum. So now I'm telling a soccer playing lephrakhan story with a piece of gum stuck to my shoe. Gumshoe. I think it was a green piece of gum. What's that, like apple flavor or something? Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I like gum.
I can't drive. I can't navigate. I can't cook or clean. I can't hide it when I really don't like someone. I can't find lost things. I'm just kind of baffled by day-to-day life in general. But I can tell a joke and I am quite skilled at getting it on, so people keep me around anyway.
Leaving icecream in the freezer (well, if it wasn't supposed to be eaten, why is it calling to me like that?)
Sex
Dancing
Singing
Throwing/catching/kicking a ball
Drawing (well, without a t-square and ruler, anyway)
Remembering names (if there was a guiness record for forgetting the most names in the fastest time, I would be a shoo-in)
I have been told that I am very poor at suffering fools - if I think someone is an idiot, they know it (this has been a CLM on several ocassions).
I never know where I am, and I can get seriously lost in the tiny corner of Glasgow where I've lived for a decade. My friends laugh at me constantly for having very strict but irrational routes around town between places I have to go regularly, which can add as much as half an hour to my journey, because if I deviate from them, I'll basically just have to hail a cab (asking for directions is no good, as I won't understand them - people say things like 'head North', or 'head towards the city centre', which are meaningless concepts to me).
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
