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14 November 2006
Evidently, Ellen DeGeneres is hosting the Oscars this year, and ....→[More:]I'm a little underwhelmed. Your thoughts?
I find it weird for someone who isn't involved in the movie biz to host the Oscars. I mean, I know she's been in one or two... but that's not her primary thing.
1. George Clooney.
2. Still, Oscar Night is the Funnest Underwhelm of the Year.
3. and the Award given will be the Thingy.
4. Jon Stewart did it last year and kicked ass, though.
Fuckin' George Clooney. Not enough that he's a sex symbol and Joe Cool and a acclaimed actor and director. Now he's all righteous and has the right opinions and stuff. Everybody loves George. I hate people like that.
Well, Mr. Hellbient, I find a banana to be quite the refresher in the mid-afternoon. Quick, easy to digest, and loaded with valuable nutrients! And so easy to dispose of!
George only has your best interests at heart, Run-JMC. He's doing what he knows to make your world a better, safer place. Plus, he really digs that butt-pic you made.
George only has your best interests at heart, Run-JMC.
*grumble*
I also really hated his character on ER. The guy was petulant and childish, but because he's a handsome guy, it's a sign of how 'intense' and 'complex' he is. If he was an ugly guy, he'd simply be an asshole.
I put my overalls on/one leg at a time-y/
got my Clooney naner's all up inside me!/
Gotta go work the tractor and the farm!/
but God is smiling on my testines and upon me!
See, even the gayfolk are on his side. Eventually, he's going to hypnotize you all into joining his Intergalactic Conquest Force and you'll wish you listened to ol' jonmc, mark my words.
*covers ballcap in tinfoil, checks toothpaste for explosives*
No. Why does Ellen get these jobs? She's not all that funny, her mostly self-depreciating delivery will grow old before the first hour is up and she just doesn't have the style to pull it off.
Give it to John Stewart again. He was brilliant last year. Hell, have him team up with Stephen Colbert.
Or damn, just call Billy Crystal. He's tired as an actor, but he has the patter and the respect for Hollywood's history to make it work.
I feel the same way, Grabbingsand. She's too slow with her comedy, and while it's good for the most part, she'll either come off looking silly or slow an already tedious night down.
Great idea, that - Colbert and Stewart - especially now with this whole Democratic Party gatecrashing happening.
JanetLand--if you were being attacked by a bear, Jude Law would run away crying like the pussy little pretty boy he is. (Although he is, admittedly, very pretty.)
Clooney, on the other hand, would punch the bear right in the face--but only to get his attention. Then he'd invite the bear out for some beers and convince him that not only should he stop attacking women, but also to register as a democrat. Clooney represents all that is good and sexy in this world.
And back on topic, I find Ellen immensely likable and the new commercials where the racoons do her makeup make me laugh every time.
Clooney, on the other hand, would punch the bear right in the face--but only to get his attention. Then he'd invite the bear out for some beers and convince him that not only should he stop attacking women, but also to register as a democrat. Clooney represents all that is good and sexy in this world.
Actually, that's what makes him insufferable, kinda. The correct thing to do would be to sit there with your six-pack watching the maulin' a-happenin', think about helping, decide too late, then offer the bear a beer in exchange for not killing you and sit there bitching and drinking.
no, johnny depp would merely make little autistic birdlike head movements to make himself appear deep and trash the forest in an attempt to appear edgey. The bear would decide he was not worth killing and shamble off bored.
DeNiro would torture the bear, shoot him, then take his money.
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Well, geez, Ellen has this talk show, see, and the celebs love to be on it, see .... makes her insider enough. It's not like Whoopi was really ever a star, either.
The gig is being able to make gentle fun of your house audience while amusing the broadcast audience. And having a supply of wisecracks for the random shit that happens, which requires being up on Hollywood gossip and such.
Letterman, I thought he was funny enough ("Uma ... Oprah ...", but he didn't have the balance right. Ellen's perfect tho.
P.S. I loved her way back in "Open House". Wisecracking secretary part, and I'm thinking, she's owning the show. Make her the star.
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