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RIP Brownie.

(sorry the image is so large - I couldn't change the attributes in the [img] tag...

I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, except that you taking care of the puppies is a big tick on the 'good' side of your karma ledger.

On preview: Awww, what a sweetheart. That's the face of a dog that was loved in his short life.

Aw, what a cutie. I don't know that anything I'm gonna say will cheer you up but here goes: I'm so sorry for your loss, I have no idea what that must be like. I suppose the only good thing that can come of this is that the other puppy can now be the focus of all that extra love and attention. Now you can love him/her two puppies worth.

God, I just got all teary. Poor puppy. :(

What essexjan said. That was a loved puppy.

Oh man, I'm sorry. On one of the first episodes of Six Feet Under someone asks new undertaker Nate "Why do people have to die?" He answers, "To make life important." That struck me as one of the best answers to that question that I've ever heard. Without the tragedy that is death, life (and puppies) would not be as special as they are, so let his passing be a reminder to you to enjoy your other pups (and everything else in your life) to the fullest.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to do one last wallowing/unfocused out pour, then add it to the sentiments you've posted and see if I feel a little better...

The puppy was not ours, but our landlady's. She's currently in the US and rents her house to my family - the wife, the (small) boy and little old me. The landlady left her two guard dogs with the house and one night they got a little frisky and hey presto (well, 4 months later or so) we had 11 dogs to contend with (at three days notice, mind. Our gardener only spotted the pregnancy rather late).

Now, I've had dogs before - I love em, always have, but having 11 dogs - 9 of which are dropped on you all of a sudden - is.... difficult. It is also damn expensive. It's been a struggle. One died very soon after birth. This was despite me calling the vet and saying it was sick - he didn't show up when he said he would. That's not to say he could have done much about it - early on (they were a week old), the pups managed to get separated in the night. The mother only suckled the larger group (of seven). The pup that passed away was the smallest one of the two that got separated.

A second one died when the mother rolled on top of it in the night. This was particularly sad because at the time (they were just over a month) it was the feistiest, most fun (and dominant) male that suffered the accident.

Then there were seven. By the time they reached three months, they were real trouble. I'd go and spend time with them in the courtyard, as would our gardener, but they were a real handful - ankle biting, fighting for attention - you name it. Fun but challenging is how I like to think about it. The boys liked to watch them through the window and the pups would come up the the mosquito shutters and peer in at the boys.

About that time, the dogs had a huge fight in the night and we woke the next morning to find a puppy that looked like it had lost an eye. It looked like the eye had come out and the socket had swelled up like a balloon. Luckily, after cleaning and medicating, the eye was saved - it turned out it the lids had swelled up after the eye was scratched in the fight. We took this dog in the house to recuperate and now have a house dog (subsequently named Biscuit by my three year old).

Cut to two weeks ago, the first outside pup left and three more were due to go at the same time, which would leave only three outside. We decided to move them in to the kennels with the parents so we could have our courtyard back. Luckily, the pup's dad is a wuss and as they no longer suckle, the mum was cool with it.

A week later and none of the buyers had turned up and the five pups were even feistier. They took to having large battles... Three days later, one of the pups just lay down and stopped responding to anything. I went and got it, brought it in the house and tried to feed it (bread soaked in milk) but it wouldn't have anything - spat it out. I called the vet and he promised he'd visit in the morning. He was due at 8.30 and I stayed with the pup, trying to calm it and sooth it from about 8.15 till it passed away at 10 am. It was very distressing - the pup was in lots of pain at the end.

The vet didn't come. I was (am) furious with him. I called him up and chewed his ear off and he said....

"Well it probably would have died anyway."

I practically exploded down the phone - Why did he say that - it was hardly helpful and how will we ever know if it is true? My rage prompted an apology for not coming when he said he would, but by then I was fuming. Unfortunately, there is only one pet vet in Kisumu - the others are of the livestock variety. We're stuck with his unreliability until we leave.

Anyway, this has got me thinking that perhaps I'm not looking after these dogs very well - I mean, we love them being around, but they are hard work, they're eating us out of house and home and...

I dunno - they're not ours...

I mean, we feed them, they have space to run around, they've had all their inoculations... but they're not going to be our house pets - we simply can't have 6 dogs in the house (five now), even if I wanted to (we have two three year olds and an 18 month old in the house and two of them are terrified of dogs - like many Kenyan children)...

God, I feel even worse now - but I'm glad I got that off my chest somewhere. I'm gonna have a drink - even if I am on my own :(

[[[davehat]]]

It sounds like you're doing the most and the best you can, davehat. There's value in that, for you and for the dogs, no matter what happens.

I'm so sorry about the puppy.

sorry davehat. hang in there.

I am sorry about the puppy, too. It sounds like you got a lot put on your plate that you didn't ask for, and that you've done the best you could for all the puppies.

.

I'm so sorry. I really feel for you. And it does sound like you are doing loads for them (puppies are just exhausting).

Aw, davehat. The whole situation sounds so stressful. I hope it sorts itself out soon.

Thanks guys, I feel better and its not just down to the dwindling amount of blood I have left in my alcohol stream this evening :|

I remember when my parents' dogs died a few years ago - it was absolutely gutting. Don't start doubting yourself about the quality of care you're giving them - it sounds like you've been doing everything you can. More often than not, life sucks - this is one time that it does. But keep going, because things will get better.

/hope the hangover isn't too bad tomorrow

I'm sorry. Sounds like you've had a rough time. You're a good person for taking care of all those puppies.

Wait a sec...Dave...Hat? Dave?! OMG it's me, your long lost cousin Sass! *hugs* Where've ya been?
It's been SO long!

*dances happy dance*

Family reunions always cheer me up :)

Thanks SassHat.

Unfortunately - more bad news. We lost another last night. It was absolutely fine when we fed it around 6pm. Then when we went in to feed them this morning around 10am (we were a bit late with things this morning) one was curled up on its own - dead.

I called the vet soon after but he STILL HASN'T COME! This is too much. I have no idea what we can do, I think we're going to lose them all :(

I know you're doing all you can. But the second death, so suddenly, could someone be poisoning them? And what if you called one of the livestock vets? Most vets have training in various areas so they should know something they could tell you. You're doing everything right, none of it is your fault, it could even be a genetic flaw. I'm so sorry for your losses.

<not for people who are of a squeamish nature>

OK, the vet came. First he said that they probably died by being trampled by the parents - I told him - no way Jose! The parents are out all night protecting the compound, whereas the pups are inside being... puppies.

So he runs through a long list of possibilities, all the while implying heavily that the butler parents did it. Then I say, why not do an autopsy (I felt all CSI saying that - I doubt I'll ever get to ask someone to do that ever again).

So we exhumed the pups. Then he cut them open, dug around and found they died of internal bleeding caused by a rupture in the intestines. Alas, it looks like the vet is partly right and the parents are to blame somewhat (and so are we).

Although we partitioned the pups away from the parents, they broke down the chicken wire divider and escaped - this is where it all went wrong. They almost certainly picked up a bacterial infection from their parent faeces. This lead to infection of the gut, led to internal bleeding and ultimately death.

Despite all the trauma of the last few days, I'm happy I know why this happened. I'm glad we can probably save the last three.

But I keep asking myself, what might have happened if the vet had come when I called him and what would have happened if I'd separated them the minute they staged their break out...

Thanks for all the kind words here. I really appreciate it. I can't quite get to using a happy emoticon yet, but I'm a good few steps closer.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, davehat. Just do what you can now and try not to second-guess what you did in the past (much easier said than done, of course).