MetaChat - Nuts for your truck.

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31 October 2006

Nuts for your truck. Hang them from your hitch. There are so many things I could say...

post by: Specklet at: 19:01 | 17 comments

Those 'Diamond Plate' ones are very realistic. For me anyway.

posted by jonmc 31 October | 19:03

You mean you just became aware of this meme? They've been around for years.

posted by Doohickie 31 October | 19:03

This is the first I have seen of this. I work with a bunch of rednecks. .I wonder if I should print this and post it. . .or maybe they've heard of it. . .

Such a decision. . . .

posted by danf 31 October | 19:05

Never heard of them, Doohickie. I can't believe they're real.

Latently (or not so latently) homosexual, absurd, and gross-looking, they remind me of my theory that the bigger the truck a guy owns, the smaller dick he has.

And their tagline doesn't make sense. "Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined." Yet? Yet? Thus insinuating that tacky is somewhat "refined"?

Do straight guys actually carry around those keychains?

And should I ignore the elephant in the room and write them an amusing letter complaining of their use of "flesh" to describe a color that's decidedly caucasian?

posted by Specklet 31 October | 19:13

Specklet, I'm delighted that you think, even for a minute, that the makers of Truck Balls would be sensitive to any criticisms you might level in a letter. Charmingly civilized of you, if a little naive. They are, after all, the makers of Truck Balls. What makes you think they don't outsource all their reading requirements?

posted by paulsc 31 October | 19:23

Oh, I don't think they'd really give a shit, but I thought it might be funny to pretend to be all outraged about the "flesh" thing.

And look, they DO read letters:

Directly below is the email from the dissatisfied bumpernuts customer to bullsballs.com :

Hey "BullBalls" John,

I received my package today although, unfortunately, I was not home to pick them up from the front office so I will have to get them tomorrow morning. I can't wait!!!!

I ordered a set of "bumpernuts" before I placed my order with you because I found them first on the internet. I WISH that I had found you guys first!!!!!

Anyway, here is a copy of the entire e-mail that I just sent to "bumpernuts.com" a few minutes ago. Please let me know what you think....

Directly below is the email to bumpernuts.com from the dissatisfied customer :

Bumpernuts,

I ordered a set of your "bumpernuts" on 8/23/06. According to your site they were supposed to be sent priority mail as "copied and pasted" below. I also received an e-mail confirmation page that said it would take 12 days?????

I ordered a set of "bullsballs"from "bullsballs.com" about a week after I placed my order with you, because I wanted to compare them and they charged me LESS for shipping and I have already received them.

Where is my order? It NEVER stated on your site or anywhere in my confirmation email that this item was on backorder, so that is obviously not the problem.

If this item is not here by tomorrow I am going to refer the matter to my bank to begin an investigation to get a refund on my purchase price. If you had been truthful about the shipping time I may have still ordered from you in the future, although had I found www.bullsballs.com first, I probably would have ordered from them first.

Remember that I live in San Antonio, Texas, which is a HUGE redneck city!!! I'm sure when I put the "balls" on my truck I will be asked a million times where I got them. I would have been more than happy to give everyone your web address, but since the service from "bullsballs.com" has been what they stated in their site I will have to give them their web address. You probably couldn't count the number of orders you would have received from a city like this!!!

Please update your site to provide the TRUE shipping time so that you won't have any more disappointed customers in the future.

It is my understanding that you do NOT provide refunds. If you would please send me an e-mail response, it would be appreciated since I will need to provide "proof of correspondence" to my bank to begin the refund investigation proceedings.

Thank You.
Gary G.
Bumpernuts.com Invoice #00005881

posted by Specklet 31 October | 19:31

Latently (or not so latently) homosexual, absurd, and gross-looking, ...

Not homosexual exactly, it's just guy stuff. Everything's about our dicks.

they remind me of my theory that the bigger the truck a guy owns, the smaller dick he has.

Hey, I take public transportation. Do the math.

posted by jonmc 31 October | 19:35

"Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined."

That's the motto of Hooters. When they find out their tagline has been stolen, them Hooters girls are gonna kick them right in the balls.

and not the plastic ones

posted by Doohickie 31 October | 19:46

And their tagline doesn't make sense. "Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined." Yet? Yet? Thus insinuating that tacky is somewhat "refined"?

And not even original... I've seen this slogan on hooters T-shirts for years.
A brief perusal of the site showed that they do sell 'em in blue.

posted by pieisexactlythree 31 October | 19:49

wacha gonnna do with all those nuts, all those nuts inside your truck?

posted by pieisexactlythree 31 October | 19:50

I actually saw a pair of these on a truck on the highway not long ago. They looked. . . stupid. That is all.

posted by mygothlaundry 31 October | 19:57

These have been out for bikers for a long time, I've never seen anyone dumb enough to have them on their bike though. I think this is another example of something sounding awesome while you're drunk and almost unspeakably stupid while sober.

posted by fenriq 31 October | 20:06

pie: Beat ya to it. By three minutes.

And to explain:

And their tagline doesn't make sense. "Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined." Yet? Yet? Thus insinuating that tacky is somewhat "refined"?.

It's intended exactly the way you state it- they are implying that tacky and unrefined are at odds with each other. I think it's called sarcasm?

posted by Doohickie 31 October | 20:35

Yeah, I've seen these too. My pal who works in the tractor-trailer accessory business says that they're all the rage. I've got a cameraphone photo of a pair somewhere, even.

I was going to point out competitor bumpernuts.com, too, but it looks like I've been beaten to it.

posted by box 31 October | 20:37

wacha gonnna do with all those nuts, all those nuts inside your truck?

I hate you so much.

So, have we started a pool yet to buy enough bumper nuts to cover Specklet? I figure we could make a coat. Of nuts.

posted by loquacious 31 October | 21:24

wait, are we making a nut coat or a nut pool? There's a difference, you know?

posted by trondant 01 November | 00:15

I've seen them here in BC. Yes, the Vancouver area has it's share of rednecks.

posted by deborah 03 November | 15:36

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