Put pumpkins with candles in them in your driveway?

I had the opposite problem last year. I had been out of town and didn't have a chance to buy candy, plus I was tired and just didn't want to deal with people coming to the door. So I left the porch light off. That means 'go away,' right? Right?

People still knocked. The first time, it was a kid with his dad. The dad should have known better. I answered the door thinking it must be one of the neighbors -- because no trick-or-treater would be knocking. I was stunned to see the dad and kid standing there in the dark. So stunned, I said, "Um, I don't have anything for you." And the kid was really disappointed and they went away. And I felt guilty. BUT I WAS THE ONE PLAYING BY THE RULES!!!

So, what, you just can't answer the door, period, on Halloween unless you've got something to give to the person standing there? That's not the way it works, people!

Erm, sorry. Derailed a bit there.

Also, moonshine, if you have a screen door, you can leave your door open and lights on inside.

Line your walk with votive candles in little paper sacks, if you don't feel like carving lots of pumpkins.

Get a string of Halloween lights (or three) and outline your door.

Paint your door with luminous paint and shine a black light at it. A clamp-on lamp works well.

Put on your own costume and build a small tableaux in the front yard for candy-distrution.

Leave the door open, put a blue or red light in an interior fixture, sit in a rocking chair just inside and beckon the kids to you.

Get some chalk and on the sidewalk, write "Candy" with an arrow.

Light up the house and put candles or a jack o' lantern in the window.

I was going to suggest votives, too. I think, with the lack of an "official" light on your porch, you'll need to do something holiday-themed to get the message across.

Two words: Bat Signal.

Only a pumpkin. Possible side effect: you may summon SuperPumpkin, who maybe upset at the paucity of Squash Evildoers and take it out on you.

A chainsaw is a nice holiday-themed touch, and could be a good audible cue, too.

Play some Halloween music or sound effects, and light some candles.

Or strip naked and cover yourself in those glo-in-the-dark stars and shine a flashlight at yourself when you hear kids coming, and then turn off the flashlight and dance enticingly in front of them while the stars are still glowing, waving full size bars of chocolate in their faces.

What? That's what I do.

That was you? You gave me an Almond Joy. I hate almonds.

If it's not too cold just sit outside with your candy and visit with the neighbors for the evening.

Battery operated touch lights[pdf]. Available at the local home building Borg near you.

Wow, thanks for all the advice.

Okay, I think what I'm going to do is keep the curtains open and have the lights on. I have two pumpkins... but I kind of wanted them for pies. And since there's a lamppost directly outside my house, I'm going to draw a jack o'lantern under it with the words candy and an arrow pointing at my house. I'd put out lumieries but I'm worried some punk is going to knock them into the bushes to start a fire. Guess who's going to be outside drawing at 7 tomorrow morning?

Mudpuppie, yes, those are the rules! I might have offered the kid a cigarette. (fangs)