MetaChat - Thanks for the memos.

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27 October 2006

Thanks for the memos. →[More:]I always like the "Thanks for the Memos" section from Whaddya Know.

Today we got a memo beginning "All staff involved in the event the next 2 nights should utilize offsite parking." This started me off on an interior rant about the use of utilize when use is the better choice. It is an encroachment of b-school speak which adds no sense to the statement. People definitely seem to think that using utilize to mean use use makes them sound smarter or more professional. Gak! A better sentence: "Staff involved in the event...should park offsite" or "...use off-site parking."

What memo did you get today? Please share. Memos are an interesting window into other workplaces.

post by: Miko at: 09:01 | 13 comments

It is an encroachment of b-school speak which adds no sense to the statement.

We don't get memos, just a lot of e-mails (including ones from a co-worker who has apparently been appointed Vice President in Charge Of Letting Us Know When Celebrities Die), but they do love their biz-speak. There've been several meetings where I yearned for an interpreter. or hand puppets.

posted by jonmc 27 October | 09:05

I got a memo about how the wife of my [hopefully former] coworker died of the injuries he inflicted on her with a baseball bat and knives.

posted by sciurus 27 October | 09:07

ALLEGEDLY!

posted by sciurus 27 October | 09:08

Damn, scurius. Here's hoping he's locked in a cell with some 300 pound Aryan Brotherhood motherfucker with a grudge against wifebeaters.

posted by jonmc 27 October | 09:09

Good christ. sciurus wins. Ain't nobody going to trump that.

I don't get memos, or emails. There are only 8 people here, so I get personal visits from the bosses, of which there are two. They're married, and they bring their home spats and quarrels into the office, so sometimes it's quite lovely here.

But overall, it's nice, and there are no kidnappings and murders. Yet.

posted by iconomy 27 October | 09:10

All the other memos I get are unintelligible.

"LEGO and SOS are down, but Gemini is working on getting the swimlane back ASAP so that PLENUM can run before COB."

posted by sciurus 27 October | 09:14

We usually get two or three a day about the lifts (elevators) and air-conditioning being out of service and being fixed and put back into service. Sometimes, on days when nothing breaks, they send an email round tell us that everything's working!

Our building was blown up by the IRA about 10 years ago (before we worked there) and when it was rebuilt, amazingly, the owners kept the same lifts and air-con system, which fail on a regular basis. False economy, totally false economy.

posted by essexjan 27 October | 09:36

Oh man, sciurus. That poor family. That's just awful. Do they have any idea what set him off?

I don't get memos. I do, however, get many verbal requests and admonishments addressed to either "Hon" or "Mama."

posted by jrossi4r 27 October | 09:43

holy hell, sciurus, I hope I never get a memo like that.

Mainly we get memos about when various parts of the building are undergoing maintenance. Our radiators finally got turned on today, so instead of sitting at my desk in a fleece, scarf and gloves, I am wearing only a t-shirt on top and am contemplating taking off my pants.

(still keeping my closed shoes on though, to comply with laboratory regulations!)

posted by gaspode 27 October | 09:46

Lucky you. It's cold as Nanook's Nutsack here. I'm wishing I wore a sweater or something.

posted by jonmc 27 October | 09:53

Oh yeah, we get weekly catastrophic plumbing failure emails too. Usually the 3rd floor women's restroom. Someone up there must drop lineman sized I'll just stop right there.

posted by sciurus 27 October | 09:56

sciurus, does Lenny Kravitz work in your building? I hear he really knows how to clog up a toilet.

posted by iconomy 27 October | 10:14

Sciurus, I'm so sorry to hear about that. What a shock that must be.

I don't get memos, but we do get hand outs and forms, etc. Today we got a vague "How would you like to be communicated with?" form we were supposed to fill out and turn in. The second question was "How many times would you like to be communicated with in a week?" or something like that. No one could explain it, it didn't say whether or not to sign it, so I was tempted to make snarky comments but I didn't.

posted by redvixen 27 October | 19:26

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