Sounds like somebody needs to get a cat.

There's a mouse somewhere in the wooden beam that is right above my head while I sit here and type. I can hear chewing. Sooo freaked out. Country life! I have the country mouse, you have the city mouse. Stupid meeces, I hate 'em to peeces.

Sounds like somebody needs to get a cat.

My octogenarian Greek landlady has the fattest motherfucking cat on the planet, but the little bastard never leaves his digs downstairs and even if he did he'd get all out of breath chasing the little fucker. (Also, she named the cat "Johnny," same as her son, which must thrill him to pieces).

Haha.......the cat has the same name as her son? *giggles*

Yup. The son is a 50 year old graying outer borough type. And one time the cat escaped and I heard Tula (the landlady. for best results imagine a portly woman in a housedress with swollen ankles) in the back alley keening "Yannni? Yanni caaat??"

I just opened a bag of these. Might as well give our little friend some intersting crumbs to feast on.

Hmm, those would go well with a dirty martini.

...bag of these.

Awww... they're not mean at all. They're just misunderstood.

(I just got home from parent/teacher conferences. I'm up on my spin.)

So, you'll feed him salty foods, and deny him beer? What kind of a sadistic, murine-phobic hater are you?

You need ferret bedding. I lived in a flat which became overrun with mice and rats (nice!) and they all buggered off as soon as we got some straw that ferrets had pissed on. You have to wrap it in about fifty layers of plastic bags before humans stop retching at the smell, but it puts the fear of God into rodents.

Come to think of it, it's probably easier to just buy a ferret than procure freshly-soiled ferret bedding (one of my flatmates did bleak medical experiments on them at work, so we had an endless supply.)

jack_mo, this New York, everything already smells like it's been pissed on by something.

Speaking of which, the micturation enthusiasts among you may appreciate this photo and the story in the caption.

We have exactly one mouse in my house, and it's currently residing in my roommate's bedroom. Therefore, it's currently not my problem.

Now, at my old house, there were lots more. Once, around easter, I left a cadbury cream egg sitting on the coffee table. The next morning it was gone. I found a trail of shredded foil and mouse poop leading to a half eaten cream egg in a corner.

I put down glue traps before I left for Ireland and found that one of them had caught a mouse when I came back...the same one I mentioned in the shouting thread? I have no idea, but haven't seen any since.

Rodent stories, New Orleans:

One) First apartment there, cool place but very run-down: I was lying on the couch one day, with one hand stuffed down between the seat cushion and the back of the couch, and a mouse bit my finger! omg. Later I became grateful is was only a mouse.

Two) Same apartment, I was standing on the third floor balcony, looking out at the beauteousness and feeling very satisfied, when I noticed a cute squirrel scampering along an electric line leading to the house - to our apartment, in fact. Until it got closer and I realized it was a huge rat.

Three) In my favorite small neighborhood grocery, standing at the meat counter waiting for the guy to give me my package, an even huger rat falls down from the fake ceiling (you know what I'm talking about - a grid with those light ceiling panels?). It was just too fat for the panel to bear the weight.

Four) I used to work for a publication that had its office in a space that was an old recording studio (where, in fact, Fats Domino recorded Blueberry Hill, and that had been owned and operated by the same guy who owned the grocery referred to above), and we stored back issues of the newspaper in this sort of dark, cavernous, unfinished back area with no windows and really poor lighting. It was a place of nightmares: the rats would challenge you, if you went back there to retrieve an old issue. They were utterly fearless and really, really aggressive.

Five) This was not the worst place we had our office. The first office was overtop a popular restaurant; we had our own keys and had to enter via the kitchen in the mornings, before anyone else was there. I have no words. Nobody who worked in that office ever ate at the restaurant, needless to say.

Ach. Anyway, I soon got cats, and never had to worry again about those beasts in my house, at least.

I saw one in the garden the other day, picking up seed knocked off the bird table by the birds, and taking it back through a hole in the fence to where I think he lives, in next door's shed.

Here's my suburban mouse story. I was working in the basement of our house a couple weeks ago when the family comes running down the stairs screaming that a tornado has been sighted and we should all take cover. As we are all cowering on the bed, my wife spots a mouse over by the wall, so everyone gets worked into a tornado/mouse fueled frenzy. I'm able to trap the mouse in a large bucket, which I then cover with a towel.

I then set out, in my PJs, mouse bucket in hand, into the pouring tornado rain and lightning to release the mouse. I fear that if I release the mouse right in front of our house, it will come right back in again. So, I trudge against the rain, down the street to the house will all the Republican yard signs and release the mouse there. Godspeed little mousey.

The End.

Our cat is a very active mouser, so we rarely see (live) mice in our (city) house. However, one night, as we were sitting down to dinner, I absent-mindedly tried to smooth out a lump in the tablecloth. Whah? Did that lump just move? Oh, shit, that lump just moved. That was one scared little mousie.

Taz, mouse story number 3-O.M.G. "I like my meat rare, but not running."

Mouse stories-

A. Used to live with my mom and brother in a second floor apartment. Once watched a mouse come up from the burner of the stove (!), cross over to the small table, grab a dog treat, and return the same way.

B. Same apartment. My mom put out glue traps, one in the top of the stove. One day I heard squeaking, and discovered a mouse stuck on the glue. Feeling bad, I took it outside, and literally, gently, peeled the mouse off the board.

C. One of the stores I used to work in was old, with a huge, dark, creepy basement. We would occasionally get rats down there. One rat got a reputation for being unafraid of people. One of the night crew guys was going down the stairs one night; the rat was coming up. The rat didn't stop, but the guy ran the other way.

D. We had a family reunion at my aunt's farm in rural Pennsylvania. My two older girl-cousins and I were sleeping in a borrowed travel camper. We'd leave the door open so the farm cats would come and stay with us. I woke one night to my favorite cat playing in my bunk. It was a big bunk, so I just moved over and went back to sleep. Imagine my surprise in the morning when I discovered the cat had brought me two presents-a dead mouse and a dead rat. Lovely.

There are motherfucking mice on this motherfucking desk!