The Quitters' Club: What triggers an "attack" So I think I just discovered one of my biggest triggers when it comes to me and smoking...→[More:]

It's extreme frustration. I have some stuff stashed at my old apartment that I didn't have room for at my new place, mostly contemporary Barbies and other toys and action figures. My ex-roomie was nice enough to let me keep it there for a while, but now she says she and the new roomie need the space. The new roomie has a car, but both of them are so busy working that they won't be able to help me get the stuff out of there. We're talking a few boxes of stuff here that I can't take on the train, especially since it's going to be raining off and on this week.

This means that I have to rent a car (or pay for a man with a van thing and I don't think they do work for less than an hour and two people) for a day. I also have to stuff these things into my closet, which thankfully I just finished cleaning stuff OUT of. And there's no more room at the back of the apartment because that's full of stuff that I just cleaned out and sorted into piles that I'm putting up on eBay.

And I've got to figure out how to do all this stuff in a week. I don't want to spend more money on this fucking move that will never end, but I may have to.

All of this makes me want to have a cigarette VERY BADLY. I want to scream and cry and curse at my friend (and it's not really her fault) for putting me in this bind.

Why the fuck can't I catch a break for once? With the huge amount of organizing I did this weekend, I thought that I'd gotten ahead for once. I could attempt to eBay the stuff in my apartment already and once that stuff was gone, then I'd go over and get all that stuff and eBay that. And then I'd be done. But no! Life just has to throw me that one more curveball.

And to top it off, my friend who had those unexplained masses on his kidneys? The pathology report came back and they're a low grade cancer. He goes in for his second surgery to remove the other tumor two months from now.

It's enough to make someone want to chainsmoke. But I won't.

I need to find something else to do with this frustation.

(Note: One of my other first reactions is to cry. In fact, there are tears in my eyes right now. This is not good.)