You're not alone, I understand this completely BtGoG. I am absolutely fine if I have to address a group at work, or attend a work-related social function (where I can talk about work to people), but find social situations excruciating.

For some reason, I was perfectly fine in Vegas with the bunnies, except when we went to the Fiesta Bar after the wedding, and I felt really antsy with all the drink around. So I didn't stay.

But normally I either clam up or can't stop talking at social events. The fear, the fear ...

Sometimes I get so bad I can't even order a pizza; for years, I made jon call for take-out (the staple of our diet for quite some time). I used to write down what I was going to say before I'd make a phone call. Teaching was hard for me at first, too; at U. of Miami, as a graduate student/teacher, I wore a sanitary pad in case I peed myself (I still get a little nervous with new classes, but it's amazing how comfortable I've become... I avoided teaching for years largely due to fear).

I love going to bunny meet-ups now. For a long time, though, these were hard for me, too. New people... yikes. I'm sure sometimes Jon gets roll-your-eyes sick of reassuring me I'm not the social paraya I think I am. Then there's the smile: the more I smile, the more uncomfortable I am. I practically get lockjaw. Geeze, what a mess...

I've been socially-anxious since I graduated from high school. It's especially noticeable at work - the other day, we had a big lunch meeting with everyone at the division, but I showed up early, and didn't really know anyone there - I hid in the bathroom until friends of mine arrived.

I didn't go to a Bosses day luncheon yesterday because I was really really out of sorts.

Does anybody have an idea why I can speak like a virtuoso in front of a lot of people, and pull big cool stuff together in the activism sphere, but I can't deal with ordinary social situations?

I'm the same way. The difference is that talking with a group of people in a conversational, getting-to-know-you way is more intimate than public speaking. You have to reveal more of yourself, your personality in those situations than you do when speaking to a crowd.

(((Grace)))

I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. Social situations (even with family!) can be excruciating, at least for the first little bit. I envy you in that you can put it aside for larger groups. I barely passed several classes (in junior and high school) because of my reluctance to stand up in front of a class. I usually ended up pretending to be sick.

It's better now than when I was younger but social situations are still quite stressful.

Hugs back to the lot of you, and thanks.