Wow. My grandfather used to love clamato juice, and generally kept several bottles on hand. When my brother and I were little kids and we'd visit our grandparents' house we used to peek into their refrigerator and dare each other to take a sip of the clamato.

Neither of us was ever brave enough to do it, though.

It's too bad my grandfather isn't around to see that his favorite juice is now available in chip form....

Also, some crazy dude on the corner of Hudson & Vandam was just yelling gibberish so loud that we could hear him in the office eight stories up. If this place wanted to be really realistic, they'd have to hire a few of those guys to run around randomly. And somebody to pee on things.

I've got a bottle of Clamato intended for bloodies that I bought years ago now. Nobody's willing to use it.

It's been with us for at least four years, through a move even. I should probably throw it out now.

I've always thought that the idea of Clamato juice was to just say "Fuck it, let's put out a really gross juice for once!" I thought there would be follow ups like chicken broth and grapefruit juice or tuna water and Gatorade. But no, appearently the dudes down at Clamato Enterprises, LLC or whatever are taking it seriously.

I remember once coming down from some serious west coast wall breathing freakout acid at my friends house and getting sort of in the frame of mind where something to eat and drink would be nice and rummaging around and finding that his crazy ass mom only had Clamato juice and Chicken in a Bisquit crackers and just outright refusing to believe that was a possible thing for a human to consume and getting pissed and walking 80 blocks back home to get an egg sandwhich.

Also people who describe food on packages should take the word "Zesty" and wrap it with chains and drown it in the Gowanus canal, because it is a total shithead of a word and instead of making me think of "good eats" makes me think "here comes stale garlic powder, cheese dust and MSG."

They go great with clam jerky...

*circulates platter*

I think this would nicely accompany the potent potable I had to invent for Learning Annex Mixology 101:

The Pond Scum™ — mix equal parts creme de menthe, retsina and buttermilk, top with a "froth" of wheatgrass.

I love Clamato, but would never admit it to anyone I know in real life. I dare any online daters to add Clamato to their profiles.