Jon 'The Irish Hyena' Mc

the lawnmower

Speaking of Mafia Insanity:

≡ Click to see image ≡

Also, the worst children's CD title ever. I don't know who came up with that, but they certainly weren't Sicilian.

The nicknames are the best part.

Those bunnies who grew up in the New York area may, like me, fondly remember that there was always a bit of a Mafia report on the nightly news. Particularly during the 80s, when I gather there were some serious turf wars going on between the Gambino and Genovese families.

We really enjoyed the reportage of John Miller, who is now apparently a very legit dude, but then was the local NBC affiliate reporter. He would stroll dark wet alleyways in a belted trenchcoat, barking in a nasal Bogart style about Sammy "The Bull" Gravano and Vinny "The Chin" Gigante.

My name? I dunno. I don't think they give many of the ladies nicknames. But if you need inspiration, here's an awesome list.

This is easy, since I'm a founding member of a Chicago Mafia. My name is Cinnamon "the Ripper" Cooper.

And for those of you who don't click the link, that's a seam ripper.

If I were in the mob, I'd want to have a really lame nickname, but be totally badass, like those guys who ruled at Quake but would pick nicknames like "an adorable napping baby" so it would say "You were just fragged by an adorable napping baby."

Joshua "the adorable nappy baby" Conner, anyone?

The Rooster.
Pants.
Gorgonzolya.

Wendell "the Two Pound Jar of Grated Parmesan" Wittlerini

I'd just be called "English", or some such.

Of course, the cutest and fluffiest Mafia names belong to the most psychotic and feared mafia members. "Mister Shhh" from Things to do in Denver when you're dead comes to mind.

So, I'd settle for "adorable nappy baby" too.
Or "Mr Fluffy"