MetaChat - Punchlines to jokes.

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11 September 2006

Punchlines to jokes. Tell me the punchlines to some common jokes. Or make some up. →[More:]

"Yes it does, doesn't it"

"Nothing at all, He can't hear you"

"Because he thought it would be a great way of stress testing the site"

post by: seanyboy at: 14:56 | 52 comments

"Sometimes, Superman, you can be a right bastard."

posted by essexjan 11 September | 15:00

"Lady, I fucked your dog, I shat in your purse--I'm outta here."

posted by box 11 September | 15:01

So the duck says, "got any grapes?"

posted by mudpuppie 11 September | 15:02

I know exactly what the problem is. You're two tents.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 15:05

"A good start."

"He knew too much."

"He already has one book."

"I am your wife."

"Our tent's been stolen."

"I don't know, but my butt is kinda sore..."

posted by Daniel Charms 11 September | 15:05

"Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'?"

posted by box 11 September | 15:05

Lady, If that's the Bronx Zoo, I'm going to have to find me a new carburetor.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 15:06

Three -- one to eat it, and two to watch for cars.

posted by mudpuppie 11 September | 15:06

Two, but only if they're very small.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 15:07

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

posted by mudpuppie 11 September | 15:07

One, AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 15:08

"My son the doctor is drowning!"

posted by box 11 September | 15:08

"But I tell you, Luigi, you fuck one goat..."

posted by Specklet 11 September | 15:13

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

posted by me3dia 11 September | 15:13

"Dopey Fucked A Penguin! Dopey Fucked A Penguin!"

posted by jonmc 11 September | 15:13

Yes, when we feel frustrated, we ride her over that hill to the nearby brothel.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 15:15

"We sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?"

"So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit"

posted by eekacat 11 September | 15:15

Don't listen to what the sheep say, they're liars.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 15:16

"So, you wanna go camping?"

posted by Specklet 11 September | 15:19

"Well, yeah, but not that one! She's the boss's girl."

posted by Specklet 11 September | 15:22

"But is anyone living in it yet?"

posted by mudpuppie 11 September | 15:25

You can always lace up a tennis shoe.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 15:26

"Vaseline? I thought you said gasoline!"

posted by The Bellman 11 September | 15:26

"And the little girl giggled charmingly with her hand over her mouth and said: 'No, hee hee hee, it's 'cause he likes to fuck pigs!'"

posted by Specklet 11 September | 15:34

"'You lose,' Coolidge replied dryly, and walked away."

posted by Specklet 11 September | 15:36

"I don't have enough shit to make an Irish policeman."

posted by jonmc 11 September | 15:36

"Two. One to do it and one to kick the chair out from under him."

"Frayed knot."

posted by mygothlaundry 11 September | 15:46

"When I wake up tomorrow, I will be sober."

posted by box 11 September | 15:47

You call it "love," but look what it's doing to our chickens!

posted by greasy_skillet 11 September | 15:47

"And the moral of the story is, 'Don't fuck with Uncle Billy when he's been drinking.'

posted by elizard 11 September | 15:48

"I want you to beat me half to death."

posted by box 11 September | 15:50

"There's no 'fuck' in broccoli!" "That is precisely what I've been trying to tell you!"

posted by elizard 11 September | 15:52

I told you it was Paul Weller.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 16:07

"You ruined my life, you bitch."

posted by mullacc 11 September | 16:11

"Very well. But first... a little Kolokah!"

"Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

posted by Specklet 11 September | 16:20

[I always heard, "Very well, but first, ChiChi!"]

posted by mudpuppie 11 September | 16:23

He kept hitting me until I turned 17.

posted by seanyboy 11 September | 16:27

He says..."Death by Mau Mau!"

posted by krix 11 September | 16:29

"Walk with pride, lad! Walk with pride!"

posted by Wolfdog 11 September | 16:39

Jesus forgot his "safe word".

posted by sarah connor 11 September | 16:41

"Because the grass tickles their balls!"

posted by Specklet 11 September | 16:55

"Because it shortens the drive to Toronto."

posted by danf 11 September | 17:27

"to show the possum it could be done."

posted by bunnyfire 11 September | 18:17

"The Aristrocats!"

posted by Specklet 11 September | 19:14

Long ago, one of my favorite personal catchphrases was "It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it." When I started dating my future-ex, the first time I said it, she cringed and commented that she had only heard that phrase as the punch line to the most disgusting joke she'd ever heard, and would I mind never saying it again in front of her.

I should've known right then not to get involved with her. But it was a dirty job and somebody had to do it.

posted by wendell 11 September | 20:12

Now you have to tell us the joke.

posted by dg 11 September | 21:14

"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

"Because it scares the dog."

"Dam!"

"Whack! Damn. Damn! Whack."

posted by Lipstick Thespian 11 September | 21:52

Chunks is my dog!

posted by trondant 11 September | 22:40

Go ahead, it's your cow.

posted by Marxchivist 12 September | 00:17

"You have no idea how strong you are, until you bite your own balls."

posted by paulsc 12 September | 02:02

Two in the front, one in the back.

To stamp out flaming ducks.

posted by Mitheral 12 September | 15:29

A little, at first.

You think *you're* scared? I've got to walk back alone!

For you, no charge.

c over lambda.

I'm positive!

MOOOOOOOOOO!

That's okay, I'm not really a welder.

Holy shit, a talking dog!

Face it, Bob, you're not here for the hunting, are you?

The Czech is in the male.

posted by ROU Xenophobe 13 September | 20:46

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