Nice reversal of an old Bill Hicks routine:

A woman has been beaten by her husband, her head looks like a melon. The cops are called on a domestic call... right? And the woman stands up for the fucking guy. Head looks like a melon: 'He didn't mean to hit me officer, he's a good man don't take him away; I fell asleep in the driveway and he ran over my head with the truck. He's a good man he don't mean no harm.'

http://www.giventowail.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=6859&view=next&sid=745f61dd36701ffef8bc05efc276e0d8

Can we apply the quonsar system of editing to this story?

A man who fell asleep in his driveway woke up when his wife came home and turned into the driveway to park the car, revved the engine and accidentally ran over him, then accidentally backed up and did it again.

Kristine Bolson of Rogers said she drove into her no-good husband shortly after midnight Tuesday and heard a loud, satisfying, cracking sound, a Benton County Sheriff's Office report said.

When she got out of her vehicle, she heard moaning and found her husband, Richard Gonzalez, aka "Dick", on the ground near her vehicle. Bolson said she did not intentionally see her husband in the driveway.

According to the report, Dick said he had been drinking Mad Dog spritzers, and he must have passed out. He was taken to St. Moron's Hospital where he was treatment for abrasions and confusions.

He was treatment? Hey, they really do need the quonsar system!

How do they treatment confusions nowadays, anyway?

But should we drive in a napway?