MetaChat - DumbCo Saga continues...

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16 August 2006

DumbCo Saga continues... →[More:] We were just called into an impromptu meeting (nothing like it to get the stomach acid pumping) where we were told that our department has a new head. Urinal Talker is now in some other department (and usually on the other coast) and this new gray-haired guy who used to work for our competetion is now in charge (and will usually be on the other coast as well). He also gave us a form to fill out to tell him about ourselves.

The 'rift' (as they refer to the layoffs) has been pushed back while kinks are worked out of the software replacing us. They're talking November, January now.

I'm beginning to believe that I'm actually in purgatory. Oh well, more time to make my appearance less and less corporate, I guess.

post by: jonmc at: 13:33 | 34 comments

jon, at a job I had, they told us in a meeting one day that the major piece of software we worked on was being phased out and that we'd all be let go. Two years later, when I left the company voluntarily, they were still using it. Three years after that, they finally had completely gotten rid of it.

I begin to understand why people shoot up their offices.

posted by mike9322 16 August | 13:41

January is not exactly a reprieve, is it?

posted by warbaby 16 August | 13:42

Maybe this guy ran that company, too. Also, one of the elevators, whenever it closes it's doors bounces like a damned lowrider. We've started humming 'Dre Day' as we ride in it.

Oh, well, the upside is I guess I'll be able to piss in peace.

warbaby, at this point, I'm hoping to be let go with the severance package and unemployment, to have time to plot my next move, so the sooner the better actually.

posted by jonmc 16 August | 13:45

They're never going to lay you off, it's a trap.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 August | 13:45

Well, if they lay you off in time for my February break, I say we book ourselves a cruise...

*puts drink umbrella in jon's Bud*

posted by Pips 16 August | 13:51

One of the questions on the form (along with the usual 'how could your job be improved?' stuff) was 'why are manhole covers round?'

Either he read a book on 'executive humor' or he's trying to gauge just how stupid we are. In any case, I answered 'Because manholes are round.'

posted by jonmc 16 August | 13:53

Ha! Did I mention I love you? : )

posted by Pips 16 August | 13:57

What a fabulous manhole.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 16 August | 13:57

Indeed.

(check your email, by the by)

posted by Pips 16 August | 13:58

pips: I love you, too, booey.

IRFH: Thank you. I try to keep it pretty.

posted by jonmc 16 August | 13:58

Manhole covers are round because if they were square there is a way you could drop them through a square hole, can't happen with round covers.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 August | 14:04

My immediate supervisor (a gay Puerto Rican man from the Riis Projects in Alphabet City), is currently composing a doozy of answer to that question, by the way..

posted by jonmc 16 August | 14:06

I know the answer because back when I had to interview people for jobs, the HR dunces always wanted us to ask that type of question to test their ability to think logically, before they told me the answer I always thought manhole covers were round because Robert Moses was terrified of right angles.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 August | 14:09

Well, with any luck my answer will brand me as 'deadwood dumbass,' and maybe I'll march to the front of the layoff line.

posted by jonmc 16 August | 14:14

Good answer, wino. This is for you:
≡ Click to see image ≡
I have it pinned to the wall of my cubicle.

posted by pieisexactlythree 16 August | 14:17

"before they told me the answer I always thought manhole covers were round because Robert Moses was terrified of right angles."

Except that it would have been something more nefarious, along the lines of R. Moses was afraid blacks would gain from square covers.

posted by omiewise 16 August | 14:20

The Klan came up with their name because they thought blacks couldn't pronounce it.

posted by pieisexactlythree 16 August | 14:22

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by jonmc 16 August | 14:25

Why are manhole covers round? Round covers are used when the hole they are covering up is also round. It's simplest to cover a round hole with a round cover.

posted by brainwidth 16 August | 14:27

I really don't understand your passive aggressive approach to this. You continue to work for this place with all the stress they put on you, and the only carrot I see them waving is a few bucks in a severence package( not like you are some executive with a golden parachute), and the ability to suck off of the government for awhile with a federally sponsored vacation. Is that really worth it? For as long as you've been whining about how stupid the place is, certainly you could have found another, more satisfying job and eliminated a lot of stress in your life. They can't be all that dumb if they've hoodwinked you into continuing working there while they take their time getting your digital replacement ready.

posted by eekacat 16 August | 14:29

eekacat: extended time off, without money worries, is something I've never experienced, so I'm taking it, especially since it means I can look for the right job or maybe take some classes, instead of just jumping to the next rock.

posted by jonmc 16 August | 14:31

*drops eekacat down manhole*

posted by Pips 16 August | 14:33

"...it was a very enjoyable 200,000,000,000,000 mile drive back to New York and I feel like I'm home, but I'm not and we took pictures and blah, blah, blah....my website and blah, blah...Seattle, blah, me, blah, blah...open door...blah-ga-di-blah, blah...BLAH..."

posted by Joe Famous 16 August | 14:37

Blrrrzzzzzzztttttt!

posted by Divine_Wino 16 August | 14:39

Damn, jonmc. Someone said you were a passive-aggressive whiner.

Someone must have a good job they love, a keen ear for the shadow of a whine, or just a lack of soul.

posted by Hugh Janus 16 August | 14:50

*jonmc walks in circles because eekacat made one leg longer than the other.*

posted by warbaby 16 August | 15:21

One of the questions on the form (along with the usual 'how could your job be improved?' stuff) was 'why are manhole covers round?'

I woulda said, "Well, it has to do with this series of tubes..."

posted by me3dia 16 August | 15:27

'why are manhole covers round?'
There's some Jobs/Gates mythology surrounding this one, but I like the Feynman answer here.
Which I see I was beaten to. Oh well.

posted by seanyboy 16 August | 18:00

JonMc - Yay for more Dumbco stuff, first of all.

Second, when you told about that manhole thing and the "tell me about yourself" shit from New Dickhead in Charge of the Rifters, it made me vomit a little in my mouth.

Fuck corporations and their ridiculous probing questionnaires. I hope when you get your severance that it gives you peace of mind for awhile, room to breathe for a bit, and take that time to build yourself into something more enduring and JonMC-Like. I suggest on your first day that you lounge around with Pips and spoil her in as many ways you can muster.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 16 August | 20:50

Oh, and by the way? You fucking rock and I believe in you.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 16 August | 20:51

Second that!

And that Pips idea? Second that too!

posted by Miko 16 August | 21:33

I really like quite a few of you people.

posted by Divine_Wino 16 August | 22:04

Well, some of you are OK, I suppose.

posted by dg 16 August | 22:21

Whee. I get to do that today. Oh, joy.

posted by TrishaLynn 17 August | 07:38

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