MetaChat - Novels that you hated in high school.

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14 August 2006

Novels that you hated in high school. →[More:] Link goes to inspiring AskMe thread.

Mine--

Jane Austen--Pride and Prejudice. In fact, I've gotten over my dislike of almost all of the classic novels that I disliked in junior high and high school, but I still can't tolerate Austen. I can't read Pride and Prejudice (and I have, three times, one of those for "pleasure") without thinking that all of the female characters ought to do something worthwhile with their lives. I understand why the novel's thought to be good, but that doesn't mean I like reading it. It is a failure in my character that I've yet to rectify.

Henry James--The Portrait of a Lady. I love Henry James now, but hated Portrait when assigned it years ago--too long; too much talking. In college I had to take an entire semester-long class on James, though (the only lit class I could get to finish out my major in my senior year) and ended up being converted. I even like The Wings of the Dove and The Golden Bowl.

post by: Prospero at: 13:46 | 57 comments

Ayn Rand -- uh, whatevertheheck the title of the one with the wackjob architect guy. geezus, finishing that was like shaving my head with a cheese grater.

and yes, I do 'get' what she's saying in that book (I mean my own mom is an architect and I get to hear her rant on the theme of cheap commercialism all the time) but any writer who loathes her characters that much is just torture for me to read.

and I hated pretty much everything of John Irving's that I've read too, fwiw... guess I'm just not an intellectual reader

posted by lonefrontranger 14 August | 13:56

I hated The Scarlet Letter so much that instead of doing a paper on it for English class, in which I was to discuss its Romanticism, I turned in a letter explaining why it was Romantic of me not to read the book. My classmates were convinced I'd either get an A or an F; it was mostly the latter, although I was allowed to redo it for partial credit.

posted by me3dia 14 August | 13:58

Not a novel, but I HATED Walden, and now it's a breath of fresh air.

Also, any Dickens.

posted by ferociouskitty 14 August | 13:59

I loved The Scarlet Letter, but that's because I was rooting for Dimmesdale, which seriously disturbed my teacher.

I hated A Seperate Peace and Lost Horizon. I also recall being forced to read some nonfiction dreck called MiG Pilot that must have been part of a Reader's Digest series.

posted by jrossi4r 14 August | 14:05

Anything by Hemingway. Mostly because an otherwise wonderful teacher (who really did teach me how to write) told us that people either liked Fitzgerald or Hemingway, and I loved Fitzgerald, so I didn't give Hemingway much of a chance.

Though I do think the Hemingway that gets assigned to high-school students sucks. The Sun Also Rises is amazing, and I think reasonably relevant, to the age group, but we never read it in school. The Old Man and the Sea is an easy read, so it gets assigned, but I don't think 10th graders really give a shit about ruminations on being old, you know?

posted by occhiblu 14 August | 14:05

Oh, A Separate Peace! I also hated that. I was also not fond of A Watership Down, but I think that's mostly because it was depressing.

Basically, I hated anything that I had to read my 10th-grade year, it seems.

posted by occhiblu 14 August | 14:06

"The Transcendentalist" by Ralph Waldo Emerson, actually it was that and a whole collection of his stuff, that one just sticks out as the most painful. I don't know that I've ever read anything by him that didn't make me want to poke out the part of my brain that was responsible for reading.

posted by togdon 14 August | 14:11

Joseph Conrad: The Heart of Darkness. DAMN, that was depressing and too damn dense. But since I was in the AP/IB class in HS, I had to read it.

posted by TrishaLynn 14 August | 14:12

lonefrontranger: That was "The Fountainhead" and I read it post-HS just to say I did, and to understand what was so repulsive about Ayn Rand, Objectivism, and why Randroids were also so repulsive.

posted by TrishaLynn 14 August | 14:15

I hated The Scarlet Letter in high school as well--high school students are way too young to get that book.

occhiblu: I was also not fond of A Watership Down, but I think that's mostly because it was depressing.

I was assigned that book for summer reading at some ridiculously early age (sixth grade, maybe?) and the assignment came with a list of the "difficult" words in each chapter, for which I had to copy the definition from a dictionary. The list had over fifty words for some chapters.

posted by Prospero 14 August | 14:16

"1984" was just horrible. I had nightmares (and a fixation) about the coming totalitarian state.

posted by Daniel Charms 14 August | 14:17

Anything by Jane Austen, anything by a Bronte (just wasn't mature enough to appreciate it) and anything by that senseless douche James Fennimore Cooper, I'd like to strangle that hack bastard with a fucking Leatherstocking is what I'd like to do, yank his fucking Uncas right out of his fucking gizzard by God!

Oh and Ethan Fromme, WTF LITERARY CANNON?

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 14:18

I don't remember a particular book I hated (I loved Jane Eyre) but I loathed Shakespeare because of being forced to read it at school. Still don't like it.

posted by essexjan 14 August | 14:19

Two words that still fill by soul with dread:

Silas Marner

First Sentence:
IN the days when the spinning-wheels hummed busily in the farmhouses-and even great ladies, clothed in silk and thread-lace, had their toy spinning-wheels of polished oak-there might be seen, in districts far away among the lanes, or deep in the bosom of the hills, certain pallid undersized men, who, by the side of the brawny country-folk, looked like the remnants of a disinherited race.

posted by Otis 14 August | 14:29

fill my soul

I must have a cold.

posted by Otis 14 August | 14:33

I hated the Portrait of a Lady so much that the only way I could get through it was to buy another copy, and as I read each page front and back I would rip it out and throw it away gleefully. I still don't like James, but I can't tell if it's a throwback to my old feelings or something in his writing style.

posted by JanetLand 14 August | 14:34

Ditto on Hemingway, Walden. I hated Hamlet because the teacher was an idiot and spent the semester mocking her and refusing to call the play anything other than "Hambone."

The worst offender, in my mind, is Catcher in the motherfucking Rye. I hate that book. There's a quote by Kurt Vonnegut (which I can't find right now) which says something to the effect of "Holden Caufield was just a boring kid with ADD. Nowadays we'd just give him some ritalin."

I agree with that statement and also would add that Holden was the template after which every annoying-ass emo kid models themselves.

posted by SassHat 14 August | 14:35

Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe. If I had to read about him going back to that motherfucking wreck one more motherfucking time, I swear, I was gonna set something on fire.

I actually ripped the book in half, WWF-style, twenty-odd pages from the end.

(It's odd what my Bronx students love, sometimes; they actually really enjoyed The Old Man in the Sea, and Carson McCullers' The Heart is a Lonely Hunter; my AP students did suffer through Heart of Darkness, though, TL... but I'll pair it with Apocalypse Now this year, which will hopefully help... I ran out of time last year. On preview: Oh, SassHat... and any of you Hemingway-haters, you break my heart... my students, and I, also loved Catcher...)

posted by Pips 14 August | 14:46

Now see, I love me some Hemingway and Salinger. I probably wouldn't like Holden much if I read it now, but that book spoke to me in my teen angst and will always have a place in my heart. And The Sun Also Rises features one of the most fabulous sluts in literature. I want to be Brett Ashley.

You know who I have deepseated contempt for? Emily. Fucking. Dickinson. Yes, I know she's not a novelist, but she was a mainstay of English teachers everywhere and her precious, whiny ditties make me want to shave my corneas with a straight razor.

posted by jrossi4r 14 August | 14:48

Dickens. That serialized crap with a cliff-hanger so they'd buy the next issue is tedious.

posted by orthogonality 14 August | 14:53

I can't say I hate "Catcher in the Rye", but I've never really liked it, either. I guess this is why I modelled myself after Franny and Zooey :7

posted by Daniel Charms 14 August | 14:55

Raise High the Motherfucking Roofbeams Carpenters is the money Salinger, if you ask me...

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 14:56

I don't remember a book I read in high school that I liked, except maybe Lord of the Flies.

One of my all time favorite slip-ups: When William Golding died, it was reported on the Dallas 10 o'clock news, which I happened to be watching. It was a Saturday, so the news was being read by one of the sub-par (or more sub-par) anchors. The report went: "Author William Golding died today at age such and such from so and so. Golding was best known for his book Lord of the Flies, which told the story of a group of young boys who were stranded on a desert island and became barbers." Holy shit, it was funny. Can you picture them running around the island with scissors, trying to cut Piggy's hair?

Oh, and I'm especially fond of two Emily Dickenson poems. I know, I know, Yellow Rose of Texas, etc., but still, I like these two: Some keep the sabbath, and The show is not the show.

posted by mudpuppie 14 August | 14:58

I liked every other bit of Salinger I've read *except* Catcher in the Rye.

posted by me3dia 14 August | 15:00

Oh and yeah, Dickens can eat a pint of fucking Cherries Garcia out of my asscrack, the snake-eyed pissgimp whoresmelt that he is.

(I have highschool english Tourette's today, doncha know!)

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 15:00

I liked pretty much everything that I had to read in high school (yeah, I'm a freak) with the exception of The Grapes of Wrath. I'm still not sure why I disliked it so much. I keep meaning to go back and read it.

Ditto occhiblu for the Hemingway vs Fitzgerald issue. We never had to read Hemingway or Fitzgerald in school (American literature? More than one author? Not so much!) but I found the latter by myself, and then also fell into the thinking that I wouldn't like Hemingway.

I didn't read a book of his until earlier this year, when I read For Whom the Bell Tolls and loved it.

posted by gaspode 14 August | 15:03

In grad school, I took a seminar called "Hemingway and Fitzgerald." I don't understand the either/or thing. Love them both (though early Fitzgerald and late Hemingway less so).

***

Oh and yeah, Dickens can eat a pint of fucking Cherries Garcia out of my asscrack, the snake-eyed pissgimp whoresmelt that he is.

DW, someday it will be an honor to receive a bad review from you. : )

posted by Pips 14 August | 15:15

Now I like Hemingway, for the record. I had a friend who pretty much made it a condition of the continuation of our friendship that I read The Sun Also Rises, and I really did love it.

Though I'm not as fond of all the war novels.

posted by occhiblu 14 August | 15:26

Alright, motherfucker. I'm ready to die for Dickens, you hear me? READY TO MOTHERFUCKIN' DIE! You wanna know why I'm ready to roll up the pins and start throwin' 'em down the lane atcher big Scandihoovian/bog-Arsh head, huh? READY TO DIE! Why?

Uriah Motherfucking Heep, that's why. Because Dickens wrote the World's Great Villain, right there, boyo! Uriah Heep is the goddamn slimiest motherfucker living, and I WAS HONORED TO BE INTRODUCED TO THE SMARMIEST CHARACTER EVER back in high school.

So, empty Mickeys at forty paces it is, I'm not going down without a fight. You say, "what the fuck is with this guy?"

Who gives a fuck, he's READY TO DIE!

posted by Hugh Janus 14 August | 15:26

YOu all make me feel very sad (*hugs dog-eared copies of Pride and Prejudice, Heart of Darkness, and The Scarlett Letter).

As for Catcher in the Rye, I liked it until I found out that generations of girls see Holden Caufield as some sort of romantic hero! Ugh.

posted by muddgirl 14 August | 15:28

generations of girls see Holden Caufield as some sort of romantic hero

It's true. I totally thought I could bang him and make it all better.

posted by jrossi4r 14 August | 15:31

Late Hemingway

I just read Islands in the Stream, which is one phenomenal work. Has to be his best, in my opinion. In high school, though, I'd have been far too young to appreciate it.

A Separate Peace? Yeah, puhllleeeease. What a useless book. The internecine power struggles of privileged school-boyos ...ugh!

I can't recall anything else that truly won my hatred. Ethan Frome was dull and obvious, but at least short. Fortunately, I had the chance to read a lot of good stuff because of some creative creative writing teachers.

posted by Miko 14 August | 15:33

I know I should like Dickens, my persona is fairly Dickenish (I won't say Dickensian) if you allow for a certain amount of extra swears and scato-eroto-mania, and yet... here we are... I'll tell you what, just try not to aim for the face, I'm too pretty, we'll have it done with and friends again, soon enough.

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 15:34

well, when you wear that one hat of yours, yo somewhat resemble a down-at-the-heels English country squire...

posted by jonmc 14 August | 15:36

Yeah, Miko, I haven't read Islands in the Stream, I'm sorry to say; I plan to, though. I've heard others say they loved it. Yeah, and I love A Moveable Feast; I may have to revise my earlier remark.

(on preview: jon, you mean, the beret?)

*runs*

posted by Pips 14 August | 15:40

Oh fuck the lotta yiz, I'm going out for a shite and a shower and a half pint a powers and then I'll blow up a Saracen and we'll see who looks like a fucking roastbeef then.

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 15:42

Ah, hell, ye've taken the wind outen me sails, lad. I never meant I'd hurtcha, just, just... hell, I just wanted some attention. Just like Uncle Charlie shitting his pants at the dinner table. Sure, everybody gets mad and he ends up crying and then everybody feels guilty because he fought in Korea, but he just doesn't know how to say, "Listen to me, my dear family. I was once a man you could be proud of, a man full of love, and pride, and I thought nothing could take that away from me. But now I can't remember what street I live on, I think my wife died years ago but sometimes I don't know if I was ever married, my nephew is working for Comintern, and I can't sit down twice without shitting my pants once. But I want to be the man you were proud of. I want to be the man I was proud to be. Is it too much to ask for you to regard me with anything but pity or horror or fear? When there's nothing left to respect, will you respect me anyway?"

So yeah, it's okay if you don't like Dickens. I won't hold it against you.

posted by Hugh Janus 14 August | 15:44

I never did make it through Oliver Twist.

(faked it with the help of the movie)

Cliffs Notes also saved my butt on Moby Dick, which I vow someday to finish.

posted by Pips 14 August | 15:50

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 15:51

If that's a beret I'm a bleedin' Chinese jet pilot.

To wind it back around, I loved Shakespeare and Chaucer once I figured out they was a heavy dose of bragging, shittalking, drinking, screwing and "fartes".

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 15:55

I hated Great Expectations but I liked A Tale of Two Cities.

I hated Gulliver's Travels and put it down after 4 pages, even though I knew it was sure to be a selection on the AP test. I also hated Billy Budd. English never sounded so bad. I am scared to read Moby Dick and I probably won't ever do it.

posted by halonine 14 August | 15:55

You know, Ray Bradbury wrote the script for John Huston's 1956 adaptation of Moby Dick, starring Gregory Peck.

And yeah, Chaucer's all fucking. So's John Donne.

posted by Hugh Janus 14 August | 15:57

If that's a beret I'm a bleedin' Chinese jet pilot.

Must be the quarter frog in me; I see berets everywhere.

(at odds with my quarter clover, alas...)

posted by Pips 14 August | 16:05

Is that why Queequeg was a martian telepath in that flick? Never could figure that out.

Everyone in the whole blasted world should read Melville's "Bartleby the Scrivner". Personally I read Moby Dick once every three or four years, but that's just me.

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 16:06

I would prefer not to.

posted by Pips 14 August | 16:12

The entirety of my personal philosophy, pips darlin', right there...

posted by Divine_Wino 14 August | 16:16

My brother just recommended Bartleby to me. That and Tristram Shandy, which I got.

Just read A High Wind in Jamaica, The Stars My Destination (for, oh, the tenth or so time) and Mahabharata.

posted by Hugh Janus 14 August | 16:28

I love Bartleby. Hate Moby Dick, though. Hate it!

posted by jrossi4r 14 August | 16:34

Oh, you'll love Bartleby, HJ. It may cause you to leap from your window at work, but you'll love it.

Yes, DW, amazing the power of that little phrase... much as the world will come down on ya for it...

posted by Pips 14 August | 16:34

Forgot all about "1984", and yes, I hated that one. And "Lord of the Flies" just horrified me. I can picture things too easily, and I identified with the underdog, so that book did nothing for me at all.

posted by redvixen 14 August | 18:05

There wasn't a book I hated that I learnt at school. Unfortunately, I've forgotten what they all were with the possible exceptions of French Lieutenants Woman and 1984, but they were all great.

In later life I have come to hate Dickens. Much to the disapproval of my grandmother.

posted by seanyboy 14 August | 18:43

I can't remember what we had to read in high school that I didn't like. There were 4 of us and we'd blow through the books we had to read, and continue reading our own. We'd swap and have discussions on Camus, Sartre, Nietzsche, Hesse, Dostoyevsky, "A Clockwork Orange", "1984", "Brave New World", and a few others I've forgotten.
I can remember the teacher looking very put out because we'd be trying to figure out if Hesse's 'Demian' and the concept of the mark of the outsider and Nietzsche's ubermensch could be taken as similar concepts. (Note: sure we were 16/17 at the time, but we were aware of the Nazi's concept of the ubermensch and purposely ignored that, because Nazi's suck.) We'd also relate existential themes in books to music, and how that led to better songs - The Cure's 'Standing on a Beach', Echo & the Bunnymen, Joy Division, Buzzcocks, Psychedelic Furs, etc.
Naturally we were quickly chucked into an advanced reading course.

posted by Zack_Replica 14 August | 18:48

Silas Fucking Marner.

posted by rainbaby 14 August | 18:53

I loathed You Can't Go Home Again when I read it for a book report. We only read short pieces for class and had to read novels for papers. FUCK PROPOSITION 13!

posted by brujita 14 August | 23:30

I'm 1/3 of the way through my first-ever reading of Moby Dick. I never had to read it in high school. I'm really enjoying it.

posted by agropyron 15 August | 09:57

Moby Dick. Oh, I hated it. I could barely get through the first chapter! It was all about the Cliffs Notes from then on.

posted by sisterhavana 15 August | 13:24

The problem with Catcher is that everybody loves it. The jocks. The soshes. The cheerleaders. Yearbook. The carps. That hypergirl who joins all the clubs and smiles at everybody. The phonies. The phonies. The phonies. You like Catcher? Well, I was Catcher, and, you know what, just like Holden Caulfield, it didn't get me a damn bit of tail.

In fact, I lost my virginity at a ripe, old age, to a woman who, at the time, was reading Catcher for the first time at a similarly too old age. I have this great memory of rereading parts of her copy of it while she slept after the first time we made out and messed around. Weeks later, I asked her how she liked the book, and she said that she had stopped reading it because she hated it. Go fig.

Everything I know about Salinger's personal life makes me think he's kind of a dick.

Walden is the only book in high school that I only read only the Cliff's Notes for, and even those were pretty painful. Funny enough, the dirty ecohippy in me ends up quoting that book all the freaking time. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was waaaaay too heady for 9th grade. I don't know if I'd enjoy it upon rereading, but I'd probably relate to it better. Our AP teacher let those of us taking the AP test read Heart of Darkness on the honor system to make time to study, so most of us skipped it. Sartre's Nausea was painful to a depressed college freshman as a last minute, up-all-night read, but it was really influencial to me.

posted by Skwirl 15 August | 16:31

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