MetaChat - What can you do?

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19 July 2006

What can you do? Don't think about what you can't do. Think about what you can. Then post it. More points for the pointless.

post by: Miko at: 16:58 | 46 comments

I'll have a go.

I can:
-blow really big soap bubbles
-make origami cranes
-lead a sweatlodge ceremony
-flip up to 14 coasters
-detect trace aromas
-always find something to do

posted by Miko 19 July | 17:00

I can
-pop my pinkie knuckles and hips out of joint.
-wriggle my nose in two different ways.

posted by jinxiemalone 19 July | 17:03

I can post on metachat

posted by chrisroberts 19 July | 17:04

-turn my tongue upside down
-wiggle my ears

posted by Miko 19 July | 17:05

I can play my bass for you.

posted by Wolfdog 19 July | 17:11

I can:
sunburn
sweat
curse
while painting a two story house.

posted by alteredcarbon 19 July | 17:13

I can be riding my bike down the street and spit into storm drains with about 85% accuracy.

posted by danf 19 July | 17:13

-sing the Greek alphabet to the tune of "Yankee Dandy"

posted by Specklet 19 July | 17:15

Er, "Yankee Doodle Dandy". Musn't forget the doodle.

posted by Specklet 19 July | 17:16

I can whistle without stopping for breath because I can whistle while exhaling and inhaling.

posted by fenriq 19 July | 17:17

Wolfdog? I hope that when you said "you" you meant anyone who is around because... I'd like to hear you play the bass. *shuffles feet*

posted by Specklet 19 July | 17:22

-see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles
-mashed potato, do the twist
-see clearly now, the rain is gone
-bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan
-tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
-tell by the way you switch your walk, I can see by the way you baby talk
-make a rich woman beg, make a good woman steal
-give, give, give, give him every bit of my soul and try just a little bit harder

posted by Miko 19 July | 17:26

Blow smoke rings.

posted by mygothlaundry 19 July | 17:30

-make really good food in a variety of ethnicities
-knit
-finish furniture
-make great chocolate chip cookies
-write incredibly tiny
-tell good stories
-give good hugs
-balance a checkbook
-make spreadsheets

Now, who wants to date me?

posted by Fuzzbean 19 July | 17:34

Your mom.

posted by SassHat 19 July | 17:36

- read upside down, even handwriting.
- drive well, observing proper lane discipline.
- find just about anything on teh intarwebs.
- cook.
- make a little money go a long way.

Now, who wants to marry me?

posted by essexjan 19 July | 17:43

Fuck things up better than anyone I have ever met.

posted by dg 19 July | 17:45

- make a killer spinach ricotta pie
- crack my thumbs whenever I want
- claim I've never had stinky feet
- give less than a solid fuck about my students at this point

posted by tr33hggr 19 July | 17:54

-wiggle my ears
-cook like nobody's business
-swear in five languages
-make my own clothes
-a few things I won't list here
-cut my own hair!

posted by kellydamnit 19 July | 18:04

I can...

- knit
- bake
- read really fast
- tell true stories about local history
- fix your computer
- stare vacantly at walls

Now, who wants to get me drunk?

posted by cmonkey 19 July | 18:05

I'd get you drunk if you were here with me!

posted by tr33hggr 19 July | 18:07

I'll get you drunk later!

posted by Specklet 19 July | 18:10

- match colors almost perfectly by eye (paint, pixels or video)
- play pretty good putt-putt golf even after 8 beers
- fold hospital corners

Miko, your third one cracked me up. :D

posted by BoringPostcards 19 July | 18:10

I'll get you drunk later!
posted by Specklet 19 July | 18:10

CURSES!

posted by tr33hggr 19 July | 18:15

CURSES!

*Nelson-like* Ha ha!

cmonkey's gonna meet my mom! This should be good.

posted by Specklet 19 July | 18:24

*turns green with envy*

posted by tr33hggr 19 July | 18:28

I would promise to take pictures, but I left my camera at home.

posted by cmonkey 19 July | 18:40

I can make fart noises with my knees.
I can drink obscene quantities of alcohol and still remain coherent.

That's about it.

posted by jonmc 19 July | 18:45

I can say sexy things in five languages
write sestinas and both types of sonnets
play funk slap bass
improv with the best of them
speak telepathically with dogs
bake scones and muffins
appear live on stage in front of hundreds and hundreds of people for the fuck of it
memorize over a hundred pages of text
scream like a banshee
locate your g-spot

posted by Lipstick Thespian 19 July | 19:41

locate your g-spot

give it a try, don juan!

posted by jonmc 19 July | 19:44

I can carry the mail under my boobs.
Predict the future.
Also wiggle my ears.
Read palms.
Play anything on the clarinet except the Nielson Clarinet Concerto.
Eat a gallon of blueberries.
Fit an entire cupcake, or cheeseburger, in my mouth.
Fly.
Climb chimneys.
Snag all the pieces from Operation without buzzing/lighting the nose once.
Win more often than not at solitaire (my father thought it freakish).
Make it through a Merritt Canteen chili dog.
Find your J spot.

posted by Pips 19 July | 19:46

I can...

- tune-up a pickup truck
- find you in my referrer logs
- make images that look like photocopies with only paper, paint thinner and a spoon
- make librarians seem interesting
- identify most of the birds around here by their songs
- live for two weeks out of a backpack
- turn my tongue upside down in both directions

posted by jessamyn 19 July | 19:54

tie my hair in knots with one hand
hear spiders on the wall at night
detect bugs in a room even if I'm not looking in their direction
think really quickly in emergency situations
hear music at really low volumes
have freaky dreams about offices that are shaped like new jersey
carve awesome pumpkins

posted by chewatadistance 19 July | 20:06

You know that scene in Silence of the Lambs where Lecter talks to Multiple Migs until he swallows his own tongue? I'm pretty sure I could do that.

posted by jrossi4r 19 July | 20:07

make killer green chili/chard/fresh pea enchiladas

Which I am doing as you read.

- make librarians seem interesting

posted by danf 19 July | 20:08

oh. . .that last one was gonna be in quotes, and I was going to agree with jessamyn. . .I myself just make librarians seem annoyed.

posted by danf 19 July | 20:09

I can name more Miss Americas than anybody.

I can do a really good pig grunt.

I used to be able to do a double pirouette on pointe to the left, and even though I can't anymore I'm still proud.

posted by JanetLand 19 July | 20:17

I can...

- give massages
- knit (pretty much only scarves, right now)
- read voraciously
- flirt outrageously
- truly enjoy a sunset
- enchant children (except my own. they think I'm just mom)
- bellydance

posted by redvixen 19 July | 20:26

I can cheat at dice games.

posted by craniac 19 July | 22:10

I can fold my tongue in half without needing my lips to keep it folded.

posted by ooga_booga 19 July | 22:42

-Go on vacation with one piece of carryon luggage.
-Win any game of Freecell except the one that nobody can win.
-Code HTML freehand.

posted by halonine 19 July | 23:19

i can

- play bridge
- unclog any toilet, any time (I'm the one you want to marry)
- climb trees higher than anyone I know
- make a killer guacamole

posted by gaspode 19 July | 23:40

I wanna play too:

I can
- write obscene limericks
- cook/bake extremely well
- speak 6 languages
- play the recorder and african drums
- burp on command
- crochet
- write back to front (readable only in a mirror)
- blow fart bubbles under water
- write my name in Cyrillic
- draw nude robots

posted by ramix 20 July | 01:54

I can
- speak one language natively, one very fluently, and two more to varying degrees of incompetence
- play viola
- sight-read (on piano or viola) or sight-sing anything you put in front of me
- swim a mile
- do great things with a tin of beans, a tin of tomatos and some herbs
- earn a living using my language and music skills
- live for a week (longer if I have washing facilities) in cities out of a backpack

posted by altolinguistic 20 July | 03:23

oh yes, and I can:
- wiggle my ears

posted by altolinguistic 20 July | 03:32

I can
-write upside down
-build things
--and paint them to look 400 years old
-kick your ass at Dr. Mario
-read tarot cards

posted by auntbunny 20 July | 09:37

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