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17 July 2006

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
I see a dog-fucking-then-vomiting pic in this thread's future.
posted by mullacc 17 July | 15:20
These are too brilliant to be unintentional.

My favorite: He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
posted by mudpuppie 17 July | 15:20
Oh god, please please please let mullacc be wrong....
posted by mudpuppie 17 July | 15:21
Those are awesome... just the laugh I needed after the day I've had. :)

I do have to point out that this one:

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.


...is almost a direct lift from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: The Vogon constructor ships hung in the sky in exactly the way that bricks don't. (quoting that from memory, it may be slightly off.)

But still... at least that kid was borrowing from the best.
posted by BoringPostcards 17 July | 15:57
My wife is always mixed metaphors. . .one of my faves. . .

"I knew that I was going to have to bite my pride."

Swallowing the bullet might have been worse.
posted by danf 17 July | 16:00
At least it's not the chapter in Jane Eyre where Bronte goes on about that damned tree stump...
posted by Smart Dalek 17 July | 16:09
These are too brilliant to be unintentional.


This is the oddest coincidence. The other day I found this list on a Raymond Chandler web site -- it was from a high school class in which students were reading Chandler novels and then trying to write in his style. So you're right, pup. I'll re-find the site later.
posted by Miko 17 July | 16:37
These are too brilliant to be unintentional.


This is the oddest coincidence. The other day I found this list on a Raymond Chandler web site -- it was from a high school class in which students were reading Chandler novels and then trying to write in his style. So you're right, pup. I'll re-find the site later.
posted by Miko 17 July | 16:37
Whoops -- even less believable than I remembered. This is the site I was referring to, and it doesn't make specific mention of a class or teacher assigning the project. Netlore!
posted by Miko 17 July | 16:40
Netlore it may be, but this isn't. And it's awesome.
posted by Specklet 17 July | 16:47
A lot of these are really good. I wouldn't be embarrassed to use them. I think what the author of the piece doesn't get is the increased use of bathos in modern/internet/text/television writing. Pretty soon, that bathos is going to seep into "real" literature.

Plus that "She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh,"... line is fantastic. Hugely evocative, and it puts you off the character without giving you a reason to be put off the character. That's good writing.
posted by seanyboy 17 July | 17:27
the thing is, i saw this before, and almost all of them are very obviously being funny or purpose. yet somehow its still presented "oh those wacky students sure cant write!"
posted by drjimmy11 17 July | 21:49
"The giant yellow constructor fleet ship, the size of many city blocks, hung in the air precisely the way bricks don't."
posted by dg 17 July | 22:15
I'm Dreaming of the Moon These Days...What are you dreaming of? || OMG Anachronism!

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