Most of my life I've felt like a liar. Deep down inside, I'd always rather be nerding around by myself, shut in and reading, not called on in class, no ripples kind of guy. But ever since I was a kid I've fought those quiet urges, developing myself into a friendly and gregarious (read: overbearing and obnoxious, if you will) man because I hate social situations: it doesn't make sense, but that's how I've felt for a long time.

I remember every moment of shame in my life as if it were yesterday. No matter how many times I'm forgiven, or told it doesn't matter, my blood curdles when I think back on my life. I hate being wrong so much that every time I am wrong, it goes straight to the "never forget" pile and racks me for years.

I don't know whether I'm a bad man who tries to be good or a good man who tries to be bad. I don't know if there's a difference, really. I do a lot of things that end up hurting me: falling out of touch with friends and loved ones, making obnoxious statements that reveal my immaturity, insulting people when I know better. And then I turn around and help a lady walk her grandchildren across the street, or give someone else's problem all of my attention until it is solved, or just tell someone how much I love them.

But at the end of the day, I feel like I'm compensating. Am I compensating by doing good for all the bad things I do, or am I compensating for being good by doing bad things? I don't know. Exhibits self control: no. Engages in self-destructive behavior: yes. Honestly looks for the good in others: yes.

I don't think much of myself. I lack discipline, I'm hotheaded, opinionated, self-righteous, self-centered. I'm a know-it-all, and I like to (though I hate myself for it) lord my knowledge over others.

I'm argumentative, and my reaction is almost never commensurate with its cause. Sometimes I'm just desperate, and I can't figure out what I'm casting about for.

But I can't say I'm unhappy. Well, sometimes, but by and large I'm a happy guy. It's like I've mastered the art of hiding my self-loathing from myself, and that makes it almost invisible to others, so everything's hunky-dory, and most everyone reacts well to me.

I hate to complain, I hate to reveal my internal self, but I do both all the time. And I recognize that this is probably all pretty ordinary, and that many or even most of you feel the same way from time to time.

All of this is by way of a long-winded apology of sorts that is pretty embarrassing to me. I don't like taking up time whingeing like this, but I feel like I owe some of you an explanation. I'm not very happy with myself, but it's nothing to worry about.

If I've been unfriendly towards you, please believe that I don't mean it. I've just been trying to shake loose this part of myself that is so unfriendly to me, myself, and I think it lands awkwardly sometimes and stings people.

I'm not really one for laying this kind of stuff on others. It makes me uncomfortable, and probably makes you uncomfortable, too. I'm okay. I'm always trying to be better.

I have some bad habits, and I've developed some bad posting habits. I will try to make something better of myself, here and everywhere else.

Thanks, all of you.

And "end," not "and," way up there.

Hugh, you're fine. You're one of the smartest friendliest, most fundamentally decent people I know. Plus you buy me beer. You just have some things that stick in your craw. So do we all. Don't beat yourself up. Beat other people up instead. Like the pitchfork editors.

It's funny, even though I only know you online, I've sensed a change in you over the past few months too. But maybe you're just becoming more like you, and less like the person you want to present to the world. Get comfortable in your own skin.

I don't know whether I'm a bad man who tries to be good or a good man who tries to be bad.

How about neither one? You can be, and probably are, neither one.

Oh, and I like you. I think you're great.

I love you muchly, Hugh- always have, always will :-)

Hugh, I think you're okay. For what it's worth. Some of what you say above rings a little true for me too. I suspect that you are at a low part of a cycle that will keep on turning, and in a few days, weeks, months, you will feel more grounded again. That's how it goes for me anyway, when I am feeling as you describe.

The only word I would use to describe myself that I don't read above is judgemental. I can be sooo quick to judge. That's something that honestly, this mecha gang has helped me with. It's a good place, filled with mainly great people.

I am pretty sure you're safe here pal.

What iconomy said.

I like you too, a lot, but you've seemed pretty prickly lately. And I doubt you are, really, deep down. You strike me, Hugh, as an extraordinarily sensitive, caring, big-hearted guy. I've tried to come up with a theory (because that is what I do) about why you've seemed so ready to raise your verbal fists lately. My favorite one, not knowing you at all, is that you're so fucking caring and so fucking sensitive that you're trying desparately to get it across to us. Like there's more caring and sensitivity than will fit inside of you and you don't have anywhere for it to go, and you care so much and are so sensitive that here you find yourself sticking up for the fictional "little people," without ever being able to help real underdogs the way you want to. But sometimes it just doesn't come out that way, and you know that, and the demons you're trying to fight don't actually post here, but you respond anyway to substitute demons who are actual (caring and sensitive) people, and sometimes it stings.

Just remember that this is a fundamentally caring place. A person can be an asshole and then figure out how not to be an asshole, and can be comfortable in the fact that they won't be written off in the meantime. (Not that you're an asshole. For the record.)

I hereby urge you to try to move away from the "Oh god I did something wrong and I'm sorry" mentality, because that's a cross you carry around with you and it's got to be getting pretty damned heavy.

Put it out with the garbage and forget about it. Just be.

Love,
mudpuppie

Darling, you know exactly what I think about you. (And I'll see you Monday. Maybe in Brooklyn.)

More to come maybe when I get a second, but in person for sure.

Hugh, I think you're pretty terrific. But yeah, it seems you're unhappy lately.

It's probably part of maturation. You might be coming up against two of the most difficult lessons to learn in life, at least for some of us (they were for me):

Lesson 1. In order not to be crazy, I simply have to let go. The world is going to do what it will; I can be a voice for change, but I can't control the world. The world is under no obligation to live up to my ideals. I'll always be an activist and an outspoken person, but: When my desire to see the world act according exactly to my wishes starts to prevent me having good relationships with other people, or starts to thwart my ability to do good work and appreciate life, it's time to jettison that desire. Love the world as you'd like to be loved; forgive it its trespasses.

Lesson 2. I'm profoundly imperfect and I disappoint myself a lot. But who made the rules? There are no rules. There is no rule saying you have to be perfect, morally, physically, or otherwise. Feeling fundamentally flawed is ultimately a dead-end, useless way to feel, because it diverts attention from the good and generous and productive and pleasure-giving things I could be doing.

We're all fundamentally flawed -that's exactly the nature of being complicated, emotional, mysterious human beings. It's fine to try to understand and address behaviors that aren't working or making me happy, but believing that something about me is just horrible and unsalveagable is just as foolish as believing I'm the pretty pretty princess who is bestest all the time. Both are forms of narcissism. At some point I observed that the happiest, healthiest people I knew didn't indulge in self-criticism and self-analysis as much as I do. They do their thing, think their ideas, make their art, play their music, cook their food, love their friends. My obsession with whether I was good or okay or not was wasting a lot of good time I could have been using to make much more of a meaningful impact on my immediate surroundings.

I hope this doesn't sound preachy - I mean, I haven't really got it all figured out, I'm quite a mess in fact, but these are things I've learned to do in the last 5 years. Though at first these ideas made me just sick to my stomach and I hated having to learn them, once I accepted them I have been quite a bit happier ever since. So take what you can use from that, leave the rest. It represents my experience only.

You seem fine to me, Hugh. No worries. But it's good to spew out your feelings like this now and again.

How do y'all feel about me?!
;-)

You felt fine to me.

Hugh, I really dislike myself when I feel like I'm being too snippy and uptight about things, especially because I generally think of myself as a very laid-back guy. I find it tedious when others get snippy and uptight, and I hate to think of myself as coming off that way.

So why do I sometimes find myself acting that way? I dunno. It seems clear that there are at least 3 or 4 schools of thought on what's an appropriate direction for a MetaChat thread to take. I belong to the following school of thought:

Respect The Spirit Of A Thread

If a MetaChat thread is clearly intended as a zany free-for-all, go nuts, as long as you don't post offensive/trollish things.

If a MetaChat thread is clearly intended to inspire a conversation about something specific of interest to the poster, try to keep things more or less on topic out of respect for what the poster is trying to accomplish. Obviously there's a good amount of leeway, and no one minds a certain amount of derailing and off-topicing. This can be taken too far.

In the past you've compared MetaChat to hanging out with friends. Well, if your buddy is trying to have a conversation with a group of people about a certain band, it could possibly potentially be considered a teensy bit off-putting if you keep changing the subject, or butting in to express dislike for the band.

It seems clear that you and jonmc belong to another school of thought, which holds:

MetaChat Threads Are For Chatting

If any post or comment leads you to an interesting thought, follow it. It's all about the flow, mixing things up, and keeping things interesting.

I can certainly understand where you're coming from on that one, and since you explained that to me some time ago, I've been much less inclined to uptightness about such things (I think).

Now, as to matildaben's post. In my mind, her comment amounted to an announcement of the school of thought she wished her post to be considered under. Her wording apparently put you off a bit, but if you consider the intention behind it does it make more sense? Can our schools of thought peacefully coexist?

I remember every moment of shame in my life as if it were yesterday. No matter how many times I'm forgiven, or told it doesn't matter, my blood curdles when I think back on my life.

I feel the exact same way. Reading that paragraph brought to mind about 20 or 30 humiliating incidents in my past, and I writhed in torment in my chair for a few minutes. I hope that I, or my MetaChat fellows of School of Thought A, haven't caused your blood to curdle at any point. It would make me sad if that were the case, because I have nothing but the deepest of respect for you as a poster and commenter. I don't know you personally, but I have always enjoyed my brief glimpses into your brilliant, twisted mind.

A comment on your comment in the NMH thread:

I find most of the bands NMH is compared with to be boring. What makes you like NMH so much, and what NMH would you recommend my hearing in order to get a sense of what NMH is all about?

A question/comment like this would be very much in the spirit of the thread, and would be quite welcome. (I think. Can't speak for matildaben, who was the poster, of course.)

Remove the question and things are slightly different.

I don't know NMH well, but I've heard some other bands that are often uttered in the same breath as NMH, and while I like some of the music, I find most of the bands NMH is compared with to be boring.

Imo, a comment like that might be considered slightly out of the spirit of the thread. Personally, I would probably reply with some sort of thoughtful question or comment about music preferences. I really don't know how matildaben would react to such a comment.

A third example would be the type of comment matildaben was trying to stave off, something like:

Geez, why don't these new bands just sing like men, for chrissakes? They're so whiny and mewly I can't stand them! Give me some old timey music by guys who work in factories or something.

Well, now that I've typed it out it doesn't look so bad, and in a general music discussion thread it would probably be quite welcome. I guess the problem would come if the same posters made basically the same comments every time anyone mentioned this type of band. That could get old fast. (I don't know anyone who would ever do that, of course.)

This is probably the longest comment I've ever typed out, and looking back on it I feel sheepish for even caring about this kind of thing this much. On the other hand... this comment is definitely in the spirit of this thread, wouldn't you say?

Man, it's soul-gutting week here.

I think what you're saying is you're just like me (hope that doesn't scare you too much). My monitor cracked while reading that, especially I remember every moment of shame in my life as if it were yesterday.

I (think I) come across as this chill guy, but deep down I'm pretty tightly wound.

Why am I talking about myself (again)? God.

I think the great part is that you're trying. Also, I think a lot of lashing out comes from just being frustrated. Frustrated becuase maybe you're not doing the things you want to be doing with your life, the things you should be doing. When too much of that piles up - hey, it's asshole time! I realize I'm projecting here, but perhaps you might feel this also.

At some point I observed that the happiest, healthiest people I knew didn't indulge in self-criticism and self-analysis as much as I do. They do their thing, think their ideas, make their art, play their music, cook their food, love their friends.

yup. that's all there is. life is simple and easy, but only if you let it be.

It seems clear that you and jonmc belong to another school of thought, which holds: MetaChat Threads Are For Chatting

I dunno about that, agro. Our drinking invitations notwithstanding, I think that most of the time me, hugh (and several others, notably Divine Wino, loquacious, fenriq, jrossi4r, rainbaby, hellbient and a few others) approach it as a written equivalent of comedy improv. And for the most part, I think people find it fairly entertaining. This dosen't mean that we can talk about more serious subjects or that we can't be respectful, merely what we generally come here for.

I think when problems arise is when statements beginning with 'please don't..' or 'you can't say..' come into play. Hugh and I both have a pretty serious aversion to being told what we can and cannot do. It's not maliciousness or disregard for others, merely a chafing at being reigned in. But I can see where it could cause problems.

I think a lot of lashing out comes from just being frustrated. Frustrated becuase maybe you're not doing the things you want to be doing with your life, the things you should be doing.

That is a great observation, hb. The times I was the nastiest in life coincided perfectly with the times I was most unhappy with my own situation and surroundings.

addendum to above statement: and/or with PMS and/or quitting smoking.

Dude. You're human. Don't sweat it.

A friend of mine gave me a (Christian) self-help book for men to read. I read through it and a lot of it was just conservative platitudes, but one thing I remember from the book was a discussion of how many (perhaps most) men feel like they are fakers, lying their way through life.

This comes from the status thing; we compare ourselves to others and see how much more "together" their lives are. In an effort to blend in, we fake it, trying to make it look like we've got it all together too. But that other guy? Well he's not as together has he appears; he's faking it just as much as you.

We're all just trying to muddle through this life, but face it, none of us knows what the hell is going on. It's okay, roll with it.

And back to your original post... about you being "self-righteous" and "chiding others"? I thought you had it all together and were actually pretty damned smart. You're a good faker and a good example to the rest of us.

Really. You're normal. You're likeable. Life is full of cycles between pomposity and self-doubt. You're just swingin'.

I really hope my comment didn't come off as criticism of Hugh in any way. I'm just trying to understand how people think, and incorporate that understanding into my world view.

I dunno about that, agro. Our drinking invitations notwithstanding...

I think agro has a point, Jon. You NYC folk have a tendency to take over random threads with conversations about where you'll be drinking tonight. And in the grander sense, that's fine, because y'all all know and like each other and that's great. But when it comes in the middle of a totally unrelated thread -- and that seems to happen a lot (and I'd venture even further to say that you tend to start it, Mr. InstigatorMC), it can be a bit jarring and alienating to others. A lot of times, at that point, the thread is simply lost in terms of it's original purpose.

This doesn't really relate to Hugh's soul-searching, so I apologize for derailing. Just wanted to add my opinion, though.

That was supposed to say "THINGS LIKE" where you'll be drinking tonight, because it's certainly not limited to your meetups.

many (perhaps most) men feel like they are fakers, lying their way through life.

Huh, that's funny, because that concept has been marketed to women for years as the Impostor Syndrome.

Maybe it could just be called Being Human.

It was fine, agro, and my response was merely an attempt at illustrating how me (and maybe my friend Hugh) think.

(on preview: pup, Hugh is unable to use email at work, so that's why we sometimes use MeCha to tell him about where we're going. But I have his phone # so I've managed to avoid that lately.)

I think it's time to hug it out.

Seriously? Hugh, the few times I've met you, you've come across as a really caring guy. And you definitely do so online.

I think, FWIW, that when you blow up here, most of your initial reactions are similar to mine (and maybe several peoples) when something nasty/sexist/whatever gets said offhandedly. Only? You say the initial thing and then you just don't rein it in. I really don't think that any of your feelings or reactions are invalid, it's more that you *seem* to get determined to "win" any subsequent interaction with ppl in the thread. You just gotta let it go, man.

on preview: yeah I agree with pup about the drinking invite thing. It's one thing to *start* a thread about meeting up, it's another to enter a thread and be all like "by the way who wants to drink" without even addressing the thread topic (caveat: I'm assuming it's a thread with a spec. topic, not like a shouting thread or whatever).

So, wanna talk about it over a drink?

(sorry)

I agree 100% with gaspode. About everything. Hugs being good, you being an obviously caring and compassionate person, your reactions being completely understandable but the sink-your-teeth-in-and- hold-on-at-all-costs follow ups not so much, and the drink invite thing.

EVERYTHING. GASPODE IS GOD.

Hugh: I'm feeling a bit of a Barnum Effect from your post. I think what you're feeling is a natural component of this kind of community, so my advice would be to try and shake any badness out of yourself and continue onwards.

For me, you can come over a bit aggressively, but this isn't something you've only just started doing. (In fact, I'm not 100% sure if it is something you do at all. Any objective feelings I have about your behavior are tainted by a low grade jealousy of your popularity and the fact that you're part of the "New York Metachat Posse". In fact, I'm probably as ill-equiped to make sense of this as you are). But, anyway - Individual P.O.V. aside, you do sometimes strike me as being a bit aggressive, and I think it does have a rhythm to it. I don't think you've been overly picky in the last eight months and I'd suggest that for whatever reasons you're actually not behaving differently but you're more sensitive to your own behavior.

So, I wouldn't worry too much about it then. You're well liked. B.T.W. This introspective post has made me like you more. Which means of course, that if you're anything at all like me, you'll now be wondering if you actually meant anything you said or you just said it to make people like you more.

I don't know whether I'm a bad man who tries to be good or a good man who tries to be bad.
You're probably both of these things. There's good and bad in all of us and sometimes that goodness / badness is in conflict with other parts of our personality. A person can be a good guy who wants to seem like a badass *and* a selfish whiny twat who wants the world to see them as a caring sharing person. I can say this with confidence because that's how I am. There's nothing wrong with that. I just think it's a part of the natural duality of the human condition.

As I said...
Barnum.

Yay, Godpode.

I wanted to add: When I was totally emotionally reeling, I got into a huge argument in AskMe in what I think may be the same vein as some of your more "NO, YOU ARE WRONG, I AM RIGHT, AND YOU ARE AN INCONSIDERATE IDIOT!" posts. I was hostile enough that I spent most of my session that night talking to my therapist about that discussion in particular, and my inability to be civil or give up a point in general.

For me, it was so completely connected with feeling out of control and misunderstood in real life, and with not being able to express all the anger and frustration I was feeling in real life. I felt like I didn't deserve everything that had happened to me, and I was quite literally pissed off at anyone who seemed undeserving of their happiness because they were, in my mind, a jerk.

So hang in there. Really, except for the few times you and I have butted heads directly, I've loved your posting here, and those head butts have never made me think of you as less of a great person. (To some extent, they've actually made me wish we could sit down together over a beer, since I suspect we'd find more to agree on in person than when isolated in our own minds in front of the computer.)

Also, hee, "Godpode."

Hugh, what you need is more "naked time." : )

Seriously though, you're one of the sweetest guys I know -- way too hard on yourself (and that's from the queen of too-hard-on-herself).

(wanna grab a beer later with me and jon, at the Remote? give a call?)

((I'm such a trouble-maker))

/me is going to insist everyone call her "godpode" henceforth

(on preview: pup, Hugh is unable to use email at work, so that's why we sometimes use MeCha to tell him about where we're going. But I have his phone # so I've managed to avoid that lately.)

fyi, I think it would be a lot less intrusive to simply start a new thread about it.

ALL HAIL GODPODE!

*sacrifices virgin*

Popping into a totally unrelated thread with a comment about what you're going to have for dinner or who you're going drinking with is the rl equivalent of interrupting a conversation, even though of course it's a lot looser and less structured here. But over the course of time, if the same people keep doing it, they could be seen as a wee bit irritating.

(ever the diplomat...)

Thanks, guys. Please pardon my crisis-y tone. If there's a crisis it's been going on for 34 years now.

I guess I have a lot of things I want to change about myself right now, and there are some pretty big things in there that I'd like to change too but the big ones get in the way when I go after the little ones.

I'm still smiling though, so it can't be all bad. And richat, you're right about judgmental. Also, somewhere along the way I stopped giving folks the benefit of the doubt.

I guess I've found my behavior unacceptable of late, and I'm working on it, that's all.

And I'll have to take a raincheck on the beer, jonmc and Pips. I'm gonna go hang out with my 80-year old landlady, see if I can't gain a little of her perspective.

And the Barnum thing is spot on, seanyboy. Thethings I've said here are all things I've heard from a lot of people, many times. But it's, uh, maybe the first time I've ever thought them or said them about my own unique flower.

Thanks for all you've said, everybody. It's all pretty embarrassing to me, honestly (not the least embarrassing is my initial post). But I appreciate it all the same. Thanks again.

And I'll avoid derailing threads with meetup plans in the future. Now if only I can figure out how to do that without cluttering up the front page....

I like you Hugh.

Can I still talk to people about whatever I want in threads that I start? And even though I call myself on derails most of the time and mostly try to do so with implied or implicit permission, can I also say without spazzing that I don't personally care to be corrected on such things or to be told what to do and that is a personality flaw of mine that I am happy to admit I see as such. Thanks. Abrazos.*


*I agree about making plans but I think it is something that could be let slide without too much damage.

80-year-old landlady, HJ?? Does she have a thousand pound cat named "Johnny" like ours?

(in that case, you may wanna postpone the naked time)

(I agree, DW... especially if the invites are in one of the NYC folks' threads... no disrespect to anyone intended... we'd love to have y'all if we could... fucking geography...)

Am I compensating by doing good for all the bad things I do, or am I compensating for being good by doing bad things?

By reading this, I can say you probably think too much. Even if you could answer this question, what then?

by and large I'm a happy guy. It's like I've mastered the art of hiding my self-loathing from myself, and that makes it almost invisible to others, so everything's hunky-dory, and most everyone reacts well to me.

Me too, but it doesn't sound very happy to me. You also said you hate to reveal your inner self, but generally speaking, I don't get that impression from you. I see you as a really creative person that has a geniune need to express himself, and to be heard. I think you just need to embrace that, because when you do that, people listen. And you use Metachat quite well for this purpose, but perhaps you need another, more dynamic, interactive, less cerebral/more visceral outlet for this (for all I know, you may already have one).

God, i hope that doesn't sound to therapist-y.

Thanks, Divine_Wino (and again, everyone else). And I feel similarly about threads that I start. Particularly the ones that link to something of interest to me but don't get much traffic, or on which the traffic slows to a stop. I tend to turn them into my own personal playground then, and I'd be surprised if anyone had a problem with that.

Pips, you make me giggle. How did you know about my Anna Nicole Smith-style plans for her? Shhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway, I'm particularly troubled by my backs-and-forths with matildaben today, matteo a couple days ago, and taz a little while ago. It makes me feel like there must be a lot more folks I've offended along the way. I don't want your sympathy, or your pity, or your forgiveness; I just want you to know that if I seem to be an enemy, it's because I'm an enemy to myself, not you. I'm sorry I never made that clear.

And yeah, hellbient, my scripts are all stacking up, unfinished, and my guitar is lying stringless in the corner of my messy pad. I guess thoughtfulness starts at home.

(and may I say that the "derails," aka "loose threads," from so many of y'all are often the most brilliant, hilarious things I've ever had the pleasure of reading and cheer my days on a regular basis... feel free to throw me "off-track" (tie me to the tracks?) anytime...)

((on preview: thanks, HJ... and we don't wanna get into just how long my "books," as in "yet-to-be-written," have been sitting harumphing in the corner at me...))

Huh, that's funny, because that concept has been marketed to women for years as the Impostor Syndrome.

Maybe it could just be called Being Human.

I fully agree, Miko, but the context in which I heard about it happened to be directed toward men.

I think the only way I've in any way escaped from that is that I happen to have a compatible soulmate that makes me not give too much of a sh!t whether others like me or not (although that didn't happen instantly).

MetaFilter: It's all about the posturing

MetaChat: Hey, we're all human

So is it time for make-up sex yet?

iconomy, I'm down with the sex part, but I don't wear makeup.

Liar. Those long lush lashes can't be natural.

Doohickie - I didn't mean to sound snarky there. I just find it kind of funny(sad) that self-help material directed at both men and women separately mentions this feeling of being a fake as though it's connected to gender...when it's really something apparently everyone feels.

I just want to say that I always assume the best of the people who post here. I read every post as if it were said in the friendliest tone with the best possible intentions. I'm always surprised when there's any kind of tension because I just kind of picture all of us bouncin' in the moonbounce and gigglin'. (Except for those rare posts that are obviously serious. Then we put on our feety jammies, grab our blankies and cuddle 'til the injured party feels better. And I can't recall a time when anyone bounced in a cuddling thread.)

Hugh, you're obviously a good guy. Don't beat yourself up, OK?

I remember every moment of shame in my life as if it were yesterday.

Diito here. Small things, big things. Stuff people I still hang out with know, stuff where the only other people I know - I'll never see. Stuff that still affects me and stuff that don't matter worth a shit anymore... and it all still makes me cringe/feel bad/&c.

Have trouble thinking of "good" things that I've done or things that I'm proud of doing/having done. Intellectually I can recall some events, but they're completely devoid of emotional value.

I don't have a solution, but another anecdotal data point in that you're not alone, at least in that regard.

you are a good guy...most people are better than they think they are (or they're rotten but think they're fabulous)

Ah, Hugh, your concern for your comportment and how it appears to others does you credit, but don't let that concern take precedence over living your life and being Hugh Janus. Like my man banksy says:

"You don’t go to a restaurant and order a meal because you want to have a shit.”

Hey Hugh,

I can't say much that hasn't been said other than when you went all humanist/equalist on my last Team Vag post, it really opened up my eyes and I thank you for that.

I would like to say, though, that if you ever need to use a thread of mine to make dinner plans, go ahead! It's like borrowing a cup of sugar from a neighbor.

Love, TL

You wanna read a classy post? Look at the one above this one.