MetaChat - Remember my

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

27 June 2006

Remember my rapacious capitalist bisexual swinger 'uncertainty is disarming' asshole boss? He just tried to talk to me at the urinal again. Either he's insane or in love. or both.

post by: jonmc at: 11:11 | 31 comments

Love is insane.

posted by rainbaby 27 June | 11:12

No matter, don't liase with management. I know, I've been there, it's bad. BAD.

posted by WolfDaddy 27 June | 11:26

This is completetly out-of-line, but I saw the picture of your back-side in the Friday Skin photo thread... If I were a man I would try to talk to you at the urinal too. I am female, so I will be waiting outside the men's room door to talk to you...

posted by getoffmylawn 27 June | 11:29

You'll be holding hands and sharing milkshakes by the end of the week, boyo.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 June | 11:35

I will never share a milkshake. Not even with the fruit of my looms.

posted by sciurus 27 June | 11:42

I would never liase with this yahoo, he's the guy behind the layoffs.

I may be paranoid, but dosen't 'uncertainty is very disarming,' sound like a pickup line to you.

(also, thanks for the compliment on my backside. I'm quite proud of it)

posted by jonmc 27 June | 11:44

What about a malt? Egg creme?

posted by Specklet 27 June | 11:45

People who strike up conversations at public toilets should be removed from the country and sent to Exile Island permanently. You do NOT talk to people while they are pissing, that's like taking a spoonful of food from someone's mouth, its just wrong.

posted by fenriq 27 June | 11:55

I think he is just that particular sub-species of douchebag, the urinal talker. Seriously pee on his leg. Say you lost control and laugh it off. Offer to pay his drycleaning.

posted by Divine_Wino 27 June | 11:55

If you're a drinking buddy or a significant other, you can talk to me while I pee. If you're somebody I barely know, let alone the boss who's laying me off, you cannot. Like I said though, the urinal talking is irksome, but the 'disarming uncertainty' shit is downright creepy (not to mention indicative of monumental chutzpah).

posted by jonmc 27 June | 11:58

In ~~Soviet Russia~~New Jersey, urinal talks to you!

posted by Atom Eyes 27 June | 12:03

Tell him you know for a fact that his coke habit is way out of control, and that there was a video of him doing lines that circulated around the office a while back; no, you don't know who has the original.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 June | 12:04

Atom Eyes: There's several bars in NYC where the ads above the urinals actually speak, and no, I don't mean like this one.

posted by jonmc 27 June | 12:05

I may be paranoid, but dosen't 'uncertainty is very disarming,' sound like a pickup line to you.

It sounds like the kind of thing that an idiot says to you.

posted by Divine_Wino 27 June | 12:14

Uh, if anything I'd say uncertainty is arming.

posted by chewatadistance 27 June | 12:18

I think what he meant was, "Your uncertainty, along with your pretty little ass, is giving me an erection that these four-hundred dollar pants are failing to hide. There's an emergency stop button on this elevator. I wonder what would happen if you pushed it? Maybe the lights would dim a little, are you self-conscious, maybe a little nervous? Don't say anything; I just love when your lip trembles and you look all scared like that. Maybe a backrub...."

posted by Hugh Janus 27 June | 12:26

Heh.

I was just talking to a freind, coworker and mefite about this and she said that several other employees have had similar close encounters with this dude. Weird.

posted by jonmc 27 June | 12:30

What about a malt? Egg creme?

No. I won't share those either. I'll buy you your own milkshake/malt/egg creme, but I won't share mine.

Maybe you should buy your boss an egg creme, jonmc?

posted by sciurus 27 June | 12:31

He can get his own.

posted by jonmc 27 June | 12:33

Maybe you should buy yourself an egg creme, right before the next meeting where he complains to all the layoffs about how hard it is to replace them with machines, and drink it slowly while looking at him in a suggestive manner. Move your tongue around a lot. Then wear a wire to work and record the pass he makes at you next time you share an elevator ride.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 June | 12:38

I could also forgo the elevator entirely and descend the 8 stories to the street on a homemade Batpole.

posted by jonmc 27 June | 12:40

I am so getting an Uncertainty is Disarming t-shirt with the graphic being two men at a urinal with one talking salaciously to the other.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 27 June | 12:43

My egg creme brings all the boys to the yard.

posted by Capn 27 June | 12:43

Hey Capn, do you really think I'm a jerk?

posted by Hugh Janus 27 June | 12:52

≡ Click to see image ≡
Now this is disarming uncertainty...

posted by wendell 27 June | 13:07

I'll bet he's hung like a...

posted by jonmc 27 June | 13:09

Pretend you're totally spaced out (hum to yourself or something). When he talks to you, continue pissing and turn to face him and strike up a conversation. Be charming while you piss all over him. Then act very surprised and embarassed.

See the Roger Mexico pisses all over board of directors scene in Gravity's Rainbow. Mexico give a great little speech at the end.

DW is genius.

posted by warbaby 27 June | 13:20

Pee time is Me time!

posted by black8 27 June | 14:26

You could start an argument with your penis the next time he starts talking to you.

posted by fenriq 27 June | 14:39

My penis loves me too much to argue. Plus it's not very bright, so I'd win.

posted by jonmc 27 June | 14:43

LT: One XL and one XXL, please.

(Course, I don't know... I'm thinkin' maybe some kind of Robert Redford/Demi Moore deal might be arranged here... this guy's rich, right? And jon's ass is at least as cute as Demi's... I'm just sayin'...)

posted by Pips 27 June | 16:22

← Soccer is on... || Could you pass U.S. citizenship test? →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN