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Here's the passage that I need help with:

Saleem wondered if he would ever see this woman again, after the flight. Would she be a flight friend like in Fight Club, a single serving Jane? She was beautiful. Blond thick hair and shiny like Saleem only saw in shampoo commercials. And smooth smooth skin like a baby. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and she didn't seem to need any. She wore a black satin blouse, business casual, Donna Karen, Prada. The clothes were expensive. And she spoke so clearly. She made Saleem think of royalty. Like she was a princess or something

I need to know something other then Donna Karen or Prada (which seems to mean 'bags' to me)

posted by delmoi 20 June | 21:19

Marc Jacobs is an it designer for hipster early 20s rich people.
Marni is the an designer for hipster mid 20s rich people.

(In my 27-year-old opinion)

Donna Karen seems too old for mid-20s, Prada might be too obvious.

posted by k8t 20 June | 21:21

I have two friends of the exact type that you describe, same age too. The clothes they collect are from Marc Jacobs, Chloe, Chanel, Anne Klein, Prada and Gucci. Their bags are Prada, Hermes, Louis Vuitton, and Fendi. The shoes - Gucci, Jimmy Choo, and Christian Louboutin. No one wears Manolo Blanik shoes anymore, in case you had thought of those. Don't have them use Coach bags...they're kind of expensive, but cheap, and people with money don't buy them.

I have no idea why I know all this crap. Maybe it's because they talk about it incessantly.

It's Donna KARAN. Not Karen.

posted by iconomy 20 June | 21:22

She wore a black satin blouse, business casual, but obviously not from the big designers, sleaker, but cut a lot bolder. Probably by an arts school friend of hers with a trustfund. And she spoke so clearly.

posted by porpoise 20 June | 21:24

Oh, and men don't tend to notice which designers you are wearing, so if this is supposed to be a man assessing her wardrobe, it might be better said that (as you do) that the clothing looked expensive.

Even that may be a stretch. My boyfriend is relatively fashionable but after a recent party when I bitched about all of the designer labels that the ladies at the party were flaunting (and they were a bit more obscure than Prada -- Paige Jeans, Rock-n-Republic Jeans, Coach Bags...) and boyfriend said that he didn't notice any thing special.

Also, if you're writing a book, don't mention labels because things date themselves and play to specific audiences. For example, Seven Jeans are sorta finished in NYC and LA for the mega hip, but in the midwest (as I've observed in the past week), they are the height of couture denim.

posted by k8t 20 June | 21:26

Ooh, good call on the Coach bags, iconomy. :)

posted by k8t 20 June | 21:27

And I second Chloe... and Stella McCartney.

posted by k8t 20 June | 21:28

I see these stores on my drive home from work through Manhattan's Meatpacking District:

Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen, Yigal Azrouel

posted by mullacc 20 June | 21:31

She wore a black satin blouse, business casual, but obviously not from the big designers, sleaker, but cut a lot bolder. Probably by an arts school friend of hers with a trustfund. And she spoke so clearly.

Hah, that's great. Not quite the tone I'm going for. Saleem isn't supposed to think anything negative about Jane right now. Here's the updated paragraph (before I read this thread)

Saleem wondered if he would ever see this woman again, after the flight. Would she be a flight friend like in Fight Club, a single serving Jane? She was beautiful. Blond thick hair and shiny like Saleem only saw in shampoo commercials. And smooth smooth skin like a baby. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and she didn't seem to need any. She wore a black satin blouse, business casual, ~~Donna Karen, Prada~~ Marc Jacobs, Chanel. Not that Saleem recognized the labels but the clothes looked nice on her. And she spoke so clearly, so precisely. She made Saleem think of a princess, of some kind of nobility. But there was more then just clarity in her words, there was passion. That tongue between those supple lips could make something Saleem had always found boring seem fascinating.

So I'm trying to describe her to the reader (she wears %expensive%) as well as Saleem's reaction to her: he doesn't really see the clothes consciously, but the fact that she's wearing them does impact him subconsciously.

Also, if you're writing a book, don't mention labels because things date themselves and play to specific audiences. For example, Seven Jeans are sorta finished in NYC and LA for the mega hip,

That's a good point. Hopefully I could use brands that are sort of timeless. This book is supposed to take place like 10 years out. (They're flying on an A380, for example)

posted by delmoi 20 June | 21:43

I wouldn't wear a designer. I'd simply wear clothes.

posted by jonmc 20 June | 21:51

She wasn't wearing any makeup, and she didn't seem to need any.

This is probably a derail, but this sort of line really catches me when I read descriptions of women - if they're wearing Marc Jacobs, they're wearing SOME makeup. Hell, I wear Old Navy and I wear at least eyeliner when I go out (A woman's face can look fresh and natural with makeup on) - unless this is supposed to be an indication of Saleem's naivite (or perhaps the naivite of men in general).

posted by muddgirl 20 June | 21:51

Yeah, a business woman in her mid 20s would definately wear something on her lips, maybe a light eye shadow/eye liner/mascara, and foundation (maybe only a light powder though?)... I don't think that men notice when women are just wearing a bit of light makeup.

I'm not into makeup at all but wear powder and lipstick daily.

If you're going for 10 years out, don't use a designer name. Say that she was wearing a well tailored suit? A man would be able to see that.

posted by k8t 20 June | 21:56

Hmm, I'll say she didn't seem to be wearing any makeup. I don't want to put her in a taylored suit (she does happen to have one in the bag she has in overhead, though) Just a top that someone like that would wear in an airplane.

posted by delmoi 20 June | 22:01

I really, really second the don't-name-the-designer angle. Dates the story, references are potentially not what you want depending on audience, et cetera. Ann Beattie did this sort of thing really well; Bret Easton Ellis did this sort of theing really scarily. Both of those writers really belong to a period of American writing where those references were deliberate and thematic.

posted by stilicho 20 June | 22:21

In order not to mention any particular designer, perhaps you could talk about the noticeable quality of the clothes, like the quality of the fabric, and the way it's cut.

posted by halonine 20 June | 22:52

Second halonine, and tone down all conjugations of the verb "to be".

posted by brujita 20 June | 23:16

Only dead ones. The ones still alive squirm too much when you put them through airport x-ray machines.

posted by ooga_booga 20 June | 23:47

Karen Millen.

On a plane you'd want something that won't wrinkle though. Name the fabric.

posted by dabitch 21 June | 05:01

Does ten years out mean ten years ago? Because back then mid twenties rich girls would wisely wear cashmere turtlenecks and smartly patterned 'leggings' (also cashmere wool mix) to match, and lady pennyloafers as you'd want to set your feet free and maybe put some socks on once in the air. (feet swell). Or maybe that was just me pretending to be rich.

posted by dabitch 21 June | 05:06

I love Hermes scarves. She could be naked, but please allow her to don a silk scarf.

posted by AlexReynolds 21 June | 08:37

Heh, that was me too dabitch!

posted by mygothlaundry 21 June | 08:44

I would lose the "like in Fight Club" line for 2 reasons. First, "like in" is a clumsy construction and sounds like teenagers talking. Second, unless referring to other pop culture tropes is a recurring point in your story, it seems gratuitous (and might make people wish they were reading that book instead of your book).

Sorry, I have no comment on the clothes. I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl.

posted by matildaben 21 June | 09:06

I'd spell it "blonde", blond usually means it's a guy. Chanel and Hermes would be okay names to use since they've been around a long time and probably will be around for a long time.

posted by deborah 21 June | 15:15

20 June 2006