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19 June 2006

Should I evict the groundhogs? [More:]Seems we've got at least two, maybe three, of the fuzzy buggers living in our yard. I saw two hanging out near the tunnel under the chicken coop and another (or perhaps one of the ones I already saw) coming out of a tunnel under the woodshed.

They've tunneled under the fence in my veggie garden. So far, they've just been chomping the zucchini, which is fine. Zucchini can take it and we can shore up the fencing to make it harder for them to get in.

So, they're really not bothering me. But I'm afraid that if we make life too easy for them here, we'll have a freakin' colony in no time. What do you think, bunnies? How bad an idea is it to harbor groundhogs?
Very bad. They can turn a yard into swiss cheese in one summer and then you start twisting your ankle when just walking across the lawn.
posted by arse_hat 19 June | 22:56
They are cute but are generally complete bastards about the yard.
posted by fluffy battle kitten 19 June | 23:02
yeah they really should go.
posted by puke & cry 19 June | 23:05
Wait, you have chickens? And I didn't know this?
posted by mudpuppie 19 June | 23:05
Definitely do not let them get established, I have gophers and am starting to stake out their holes with a pellet gun as they have ruined one end of my yard. I figure a couple of executions should send the proper message to their leaders to move on to the next yard (which is fine since the next yard is owned by the jerks).
posted by fenriq 19 June | 23:08
What would be the best way to relocate them, then? Humane traps? How far away should I take them and what's a good place to leave them? Will their empty tunnels be take over by other, badder critters?

On preview: No chickens, pups. The owners offered them to us, but we declined. They live with the next door neighbors and the coop is empty.
posted by jrossi4r 19 June | 23:09
Ah, jrossi. Gotcha.

I'll preface this by saying that I'm no expert, but that I'm pretty much opposed to killing furry things. And my advice, as uninformed as it is, is to get humane traps (you can sometimes get them from your county's animal control department) and then set the suckers loose in the rich part of town.

I know people will criticize me for this. But it's what I'd do.

(Assuming you're not rich.)
posted by mudpuppie 19 June | 23:18
"what's a good place to leave them?" The problem with humane traps is that you are making them someone else's problem.
posted by arse_hat 19 June | 23:19
ah, pups beat me too it.
posted by arse_hat 19 June | 23:19
*mudpuppie is happy to be a scourge on the rich*
posted by mudpuppie 19 June | 23:31
Of course the rich people with golf-course lawns will just hire someone to kill them, so you might as well kill them in the first place. Or drive into the country, however far that is from you, and dump them.
I'm not giving the rich people free groundhogs!

But seriously, I'm not really sure where I'd take them if I did catch them. They're probably here because someone else decided to drop them off "in the country."

The weird thing is the hole under the woodshed has been there since we bought the house a couple years ago, but this is the first we've actually seen them. They're getting brazen. Is there anything I can do to make things less here less cushy for them?
posted by jrossi4r 19 June | 23:34
I should note that I am generally opposed to killing things but these little bastards have been destroying my yard for the last year.

They declared war on my lawn and I tried persuading them to leave with a ground shaker gopher/mole repeller but all it did was stir them to greater destruction.

So now I am having to step it up a notch and make an example of some of them. I will not enjoy it but I want my lawn back.

jrossi, do you have cats? Or I've heard some dogs are superb at catching ground vermin. Mine is not, she digs huge holes to try and get at them (sorry, dug huge holes, she has been trained not to do that anymore).

You could capture them, train them and start an internet groundhog cage fighting syndicate but that might be overkill.
posted by fenriq 19 June | 23:43
I'd just kill them. All all for loving animals, but these are a wild pests, like rats.
posted by puke & cry 19 June | 23:45
"the tunnel under the chicken coop" gives me a real "bring out the gimp feeling". :)

Lot's of info here, including "Groundhog Control With Repellent Smells or Tastes" and "Groundhog Control With Fencing".

Here's the peepee solution. I wonder how well that works?
posted by taz 19 June | 23:47
"because someone else decided to drop them off "in the country." " Seriously, my place in MI was overrun with cats, dogs, raccoons, groundhogs, etc. from nice folks who did not want to harm them. Of course they all starve to death or die in fights with the indigenous wildlife or get trapped and sent to the shelter to die. Catch and release somewhere else is cruel.
posted by arse_hat 19 June | 23:49
woodchucks rule. definitely keep them! set up a feeder (away from the garden) and maybe a little marmot mansion.
≡ Click to see image ≡

Woodchucks are the major hole-digging mammals over much of eastern North America, and in some places in the west. All sorts of animals are able to thrive because of the shelter supplied by woodchuck holes. The list includes a wide variety of fur and game animals, some of which destroy huge quantities of farm pests, such as rats, mice and insects. Skunks, raccoons, foxes, rabbits, and snakes all take shelter in woodchuck holes.

Many farmers consider woodchucks to be nuisance animals, because of the vegetation that they eat, and because the piles of earth that they throw up while digging interfere with haymaking. Woodchucks do compete on a small scale with farmers’ cattle for food and occasionally get into people’s vegetable gardens. But the view that woodchucks are therefore pests, to be exterminated where possible, is nearly always a short-sighted one which overlooks the benefits of having the animals about.

≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Wedge 19 June | 23:52
A cool page here: Fighting Pests in the Garden -- With Items From Your Kitchen

For example:

A listener of my radio show told me that after trying everything to get rid of moles, gophers and groundhogs, he planted jalapeno peppers within 4 inches of where these rodents were invading. Voila, they ran for cover after taking a test of these hot veggies.

posted by taz 19 June | 23:55
We've got a mean cat, fenriq. But he prefers to pick on creatures smaller than he is. Like the sweet innocent chipmunks.

Perhaps the greeks would like to see an authentic american groundhog? I could easily mail them to you, taz.

We are having a pest-ridden year this year. Maybe the fargin earwigs will eat the groundhogs.

snakes all take shelter in woodchuck holes


Oh grrrrreat. Just great.
posted by jrossi4r 19 June | 23:58
also, woodchucks make affectionate pets...

≡ Click to see image ≡

≡ Click to see image ≡



posted by Wedge 20 June | 00:02
Heh.


Researchers have noted that groundhogs are THE most fastidious of underground creatures, constantly digging new latrines and sealing off old ones to keep their runs ‘Martha Stewart fresh’. So obtain some used kitty litter—preferably from a litter box that went too long between changes—scoop out and properly dispose of the solid waste, and then pour the ammonia-rich remainder into that main entrance hole. The groundhog’s reaction will be the same as if someone had dumped a truckload of the stuff into your living room: “Honey—we’ll never get this place clean! We have to move.”

posted by taz 20 June | 00:06
I read fenriq's suggestion as "You could capture them, train them, and start an internet groundhog cafe," which I think is a fine idea, cuz then you could charge their friends for lattes.
posted by occhiblu 20 June | 00:10
In my defense, I watch too much Ultimate Fighting to be healthy.
posted by fenriq 20 June | 00:13
The first rule of Groundhog Fight Club is you don't talk about Groundhog Fight Club.

The second rule of Groundhog Fight Club is that if a Kenny Loggins song comes on, you gotta stop all the fightin' and DANCE!
posted by jrossi4r 20 June | 00:15
And taz, I like the cat litter idea. I'm going to give it a go.
posted by jrossi4r 20 June | 00:16
It says they may just dig another tunnel nearby, but you should go ahead and dump some there, too, etc...

I noticed it specified the "main entrance hole"; can you tell where this is?
posted by taz 20 June | 00:19
jrossi4r: Love them rules!
posted by Doohickie 20 June | 00:37
no no no! dont listen to this bloodthirsty internet mob... the woodchuck blood will be on your hands, jrossi4r! (btw what the hell is wrong with you people)

you said "they're really not bothering me". so... it's a non-issue. seriously, what is the problem? there is wildlife in your yard, and you want it... exterminated? pave your entire yard with blacktop and cut down all the trees. or dig up all the grass and lay down some astroturf. destroy the local ecology and then buy the respective plastic lawn ornaments from china.

dont worry... the babies will move out of the den and far enough away in just a few weeks, shortly after they're weaned. you wont have a colony, they wont attack you, you wont get bird flu, and im fairly certain we dont even have people-eating snakes in north america.

and i will personally send you a check to cover the costs for any serious zucchini damage if need be.
posted by Wedge 20 June | 00:48
I don't know, wedge. That last page I cited says:


their extensive burrowing can undermine the integrity of homes and other structures; those burrows break untold numbers of legs each year—often badly (the design of the hole ‘catches’ the legs of unwary humans and livestock in such a way that it tends to cause exceptionally nasty breaks); and the large creatures have been known to tear into children and pets with a surprising viciousness.



The broken leg thing seems enough to me to try to encourage them to go elsewhere...
posted by taz 20 June | 00:52
"dont worry... the babies will move out of the den and far enough away in just a few weeks, shortly after they're weaned. you wont have a colony, "

Hee hee hee Ha ha hee.

*wipes tears from eyes*
posted by arse_hat 20 June | 00:58
well, arse_hat? how many did you have?
posted by Wedge 20 June | 01:16
They moved in, in march and by june I called in a trapper. He culled 16 in 5 days and I shot 9 in one day.
posted by arse_hat 20 June | 01:27
and somewhere, there are baby woodchucks wondering when their mommies and daddies are coming home to feed them, clean up their poo, and scare away the rats. and somewhere else, bill frist has a hardon.


this one's for you, little guys.
/me pours sip of 40oz malt liquor onto pavement
posted by Wedge 20 June | 01:40
So should I get my 1.5 million candlepower spotlight, a couple of beers, the pellet gun and go camp out?

I promise to post pics if I gets me one. I couldn't aspire to 9, I've got a couple of meetings tomorrow.

Hey arse_hat, what were you shooting them with? I can't use my .22 rifle since I'm in the city limits and they tend to respond to gunfire in force (gotta love gangs, they wreck it for everyone).
posted by fenriq 20 June | 01:51
fenriq, see my link above. Daisy does it but every time I pump it up I hear Ralphie's mom saying "you'll shoot your eye out".
posted by arse_hat 20 June | 02:01
Heh. I don't quite see jrossi4r pulling out the ole shotgun, wedge. T'were me, I'd definitely plant lots of nice peppers all over the place (pretty! Good fer cookin' wit!) and dump some cat poopy. And they'd be free to take their babies and move to a better part of town. The American dream!
posted by taz 20 June | 02:10
funny you mention that. as a matter of fact, just yesterday as i was loading mine (to kill house sparrows lol) and immediately upon hearing raphie's mom in my head, i nearly drop the thing... thinking, '...must. not. ironically. lose. eyesight.'

so... i got two shots off and missed the fucking birds. then the tornado siren went off. so yeah.. theyre still here.

but for how long
posted by Wedge 20 June | 02:27
That is the question.

I'd just use my throwing deluxe throwing stars. It will give you a chance to dress up.
posted by taz 20 June | 02:36
Your search - "illuminati groundhog" - did not match any documents.
posted by taz 20 June | 03:54
There are groundhogs in my [very urban] neighborhood. I should catch me one and make it a pet.
posted by sciurus 20 June | 07:15
Get a dog. The groundhogs will move. We had them on the edge of our yard in Maryland - which, however, butted up on roughly 600 acres of state forest, so they had room to move on and around. One year they totally destroyed my broccoli (they are fiends for broccoli) so I started letting my dog in the back yard where the garden was, and the groundhogs stopped coming anywhere near the garden. The other thing I did was plant Jerusalem artichokes and some more broccoli waaay down by the edge of the woods, nowhere near the garden, and they ate those all down to the ground and were happy and content and we all coexisted more or less peacefully.
posted by mygothlaundry 20 June | 09:05
Ah, the "they're cute" vs. "they're cuddly rats" dilemma. I like fuzzy critters as much as the next person, but when they start destroying the order you and your opposable thumbs have imposed on Mother Nature, it may be time to take action.

I've recently had to go all pellet gun sniper on red squirrels that were starting to eat the house, can't say I liked it though.
posted by King of Prontopia 20 June | 09:24
Yeah, mgl, but then I'd have a dog. I love 'em, but they're more trouble than a groundhog any day. But I like the idea of planting them their own little garden.

And I'm not shooting anything. We're a peaceful, unarmed people. The mister is going to talk to his dad about it. Apparently he has managed to chase them off a few times, so we'll see.

Damn illuminati groundhogs burying their grails in my veg bed.
posted by jrossi4r 20 June | 09:32
No shooting? Maybe you could trap them in a live-catch trap then smash their widdle heads with a hammer. No shooting needed!

Non-sarcastically - just kill the bastards.
posted by puke & cry 21 June | 00:15
OMG kittens! || Radio Messy Amber-lit Nostalgia now playing in IRC! (LT pushing buttons...)

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