MetaChat - Odds are that someone, somewhere presently on this planet is making a pillow.

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16 June 2006

Odds are that someone, somewhere presently on this planet is making a pillow. Long time lurker, first time poster.
Ever since I was a young lass, I have been fascinated with the notion that "Someone, somewhere on this planet is presently dying, being born, laughing, brushing their teeth, etc..." →[More:]

As I have grown older, my friends and I have come up with a few more "someone, somewhere" propositions. Odds are, somewhere someone right now is milking a goat, picking their nose, watching the Golden Girls. You get the idea.
I would like to query the bunnies - please put on your thinking caps and give me your bestest answers: What is someone, somewhere, without a doubt, doing right now?

post by: msali at: 12:45 | 43 comments

Crumbs! Screwed up the [more inside] part. Apologies.

posted by msali 16 June | 12:46

Exploding.

posted by jonmc 16 June | 12:47

Someone, somewhere, is dropping their iPod on the ground.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 16 June | 12:49

The only think I can say with 100% certianty is that someone in the world is posting to MetaChat right..... NOW!

posted by Capn 16 June | 12:51

Even without a post like this nudging them, I bet there are always dozens of people thinking "Somewhere, someone is doing X".

posted by agropyron 16 June | 12:51

How very meta of you, agro.

posted by Specklet 16 June | 12:53

Someone, somewhere, is looking down into a toilet and regretting that they just allowed their cellphone to fall in there.

posted by danf 16 June | 12:57

Right now, someone, somewhere is writing a poem that rhymes "clown" with "frown"

posted by Capn 16 June | 12:58

"Somewhere, someone is doing X".

Doing X? Give me a tab and we'll dance naked to techno under the moonlight.

posted by jonmc 16 June | 12:58

I remember when I was young, having just learned vaguely what sex was, I looked at every house I passed and wondered if there were people inside, right at that moment, "doing it". I even made up a dirty little song I'd sing to myself about it.

Odds are that somewhere, there are definitely people "doing it" right now.

I suddenly feel very Dawn Weiner-esque for some reason.

posted by krix 16 June | 12:59

Odds are, somewhere someone right now is saying that someone else's taste in music sucks.

posted by iconomy 16 June | 13:00

I remember when I was young, having just learned vaguely what sex was, I looked at every house I passed and wondered if there were people inside, right at that moment, "doing it". I even made up a dirty little song I'd sing to myself about it.

Heh. When I learned vaguely what sex was I would look out at the crowd of people in the shopping mall and wonder: if everyone who had ever had sex was holding a red helium balloon on a string, how many balloons would I see? I imagined a parade of balloons rising above the escalator. I vastly underestimated the probable number.

posted by StickyCarpet 16 June | 13:06

Oh and krix, you must tell us how your little song went.

posted by StickyCarpet 16 June | 13:08

Someone, somewhere, is doubting whether anyone ever actually looks at the currency volatility surface numbers he culls from Bloomberg and crams into a spreadsheet every day at about this time.

That someone is me.

posted by Hugh Janus 16 June | 13:10

Y'all are great - super ideas! Keep them coming!

posted by msali 16 June | 13:15

More than one person somewhere is listening to Motown at top volume and enjoying the weather. It's possible that as they're enjoying the music and generally feeling good, they may have a melancholic moment as they reflect on the tail end of the career arcs for many of the Motown stars and players...then a fat beat, horn bleat, or well timed yelp will dispell their dark reverie.

posted by safetyfork 16 June | 13:17

Someone, somewhere, right now is:

--discovering art
--having their first dance
--having the last kiss they will ever have
--rejecting the ideas they once accepted
--afraid of the dark
--embracing a stranger
--hurting someone

...I could go on, but I think you can tell I've played this game a lot, eh?

posted by WolfDaddy 16 June | 13:24

Right now, someone can't get that Van Halen song out of their head. Thanks a lot, msali.

posted by jrossi4r 16 June | 13:30

I love that song, jrossi.

posted by jonmc 16 June | 13:31

Oh and krix, you must tell us how your little song went.

I was afraid you'd ask that.
It was pretty much "people could be doing it/fucking/sucking/screwing" over and over, to a tune easiest described as the verse of this song.

And now it's going to be stuck in my head all day.

posted by krix 16 June | 13:41

Right now, someone somewhere is wondering if there are any more colors to be discovered, or sounds that our mouths can make that haven't been represented by letters of the alphabet.

Well ok that "someone" is me, but now that I've typed this, everyone that's reading it is at least fleetingly thinking the same thing. So haha.

posted by iconomy 16 June | 13:47

I've never been a big VH fan, jonmc. But my man was back in the day and he refuses to acknowledge the Haggar years.

posted by jrossi4r 16 June | 13:47

Someone, somewhere is boarding a plane with less than 100 dollars in their pocket, a less-than half-full duffel bag to their name, a paperback they always wanted to finish but never did, and a "fuck all, I'm the Man" look on their face as they sit in Row 7, Seat 24A.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 16 June | 13:48

...watching Van Halen's "Right Now" video.

posted by signal 16 June | 13:51

Right now, Ceiling Cat is watching someone masturbate

posted by pieisexactlythree 16 June | 13:52

Right now, someone is thinking only X hours till work is over.

Right now, someone is wondering why person Q doesn't like them and if this dislike is universal.

I am only the first someone.

posted by dame 16 June | 13:55

Somebody is looking over the edge of a bridge on an overpass and thinking, "Okay, this is it."

On a cheerier note, somebody has just discovered the one thing that will provide secret emotional and spiritual nourishment to them for the rest of their lives.

posted by jokeefe 16 June | 14:07

I used to play this game all the time when I was a kid!

Somewhere, right now, someone is:

-getting drunk for the first time and acting like a moron.

-having the happiest day of their entire lives.

-figuring out what to do with the money they just won in the lottery.

-blissfully unaware that they'll be dead within 24 hours. Or in 1 hour.

-Someone is definitely driving drunk.

-A fratboy is saying "bro" for the 78th time in one hour.

-Right now someone is thinking about you.

-Right now someone is trying to kill burrowing lawn pests in a creative new way.

posted by SassHat 16 June | 14:11

Right now, someone, somewhere, is shaving a cat.

posted by milquetoast 16 June | 14:17

Sasshat! You are a sass after my own heart.

posted by msali 16 June | 14:43

Someone, somewhere is walking through a door and out of a job/relationship, feeling terrified yet liberated, with their future a blank canvas in front of them.

posted by elizard 16 June | 15:04

Nice first post, by the way, msali! *tips hat*

posted by elizard 16 June | 15:05

Somebody is asleep and dreaming, and that dream is more real to them than anything. I used to think about that going home late at night in NYC - all those dreams, spilling out the windows and into the streets: I was walking through peoples' subconscious.

posted by mygothlaundry 16 June | 15:09

Odds are that somewhere, a kitten is playing piano and singing.

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Hugh Janus 16 June | 15:14

Someone, somewhere, whose name is Hugh, is not returning phone calls.

posted by dame 16 June | 15:21

I've been throwing up. I'll call you soon, I swear.

posted by Hugh Janus 16 June | 15:56

Someone, somewhere is...

...waiting impatiently for a microwave.

...recycling 500+ cans of one brand of beer (and feeling a little sheepish).

...waking from a pleasant dream to an unpleasant alarm.

...trying to write a 500 word short story from a random word found in the dictionary.

...not sure if he/she is buying in or selling out.

...throwing up.

...throwing down.

...looking over the horizon, worrying about the weather.

...starting a fire.

...fighting a fire.

...trying to remember what he/she told him/herself was so importatn the other day.

...looking for the Van Halen "Right Now" video on YouTube but only finding the Live Preformance from '88, but is interested to see that "Hot for Teacher" is there, and decides to dedicate it to Pips.

posted by wendell 16 June | 17:22

Somewhere, someone is driving around wrecklessly with his or her spouse's severed head in the vehicle with them.

posted by danf 16 June | 17:25

*feels dizzy from being tipped by elizard*

posted by SassHat 16 June | 17:41

welcome hon! : >

Somewhere, someone is laughing so hard they're crying.

posted by amberglow 16 June | 18:26

and...

Somewhere, someone is realizing the solution is worse than the problem was.

posted by amberglow 16 June | 18:39

Somewhere, someone is cleaning their guns and thinking "this is the last time I'm putting up with it"

Somebody else is overjoyed to have a nights sleep under mosquito netting.

posted by megafly 16 June | 18:43

Someone, somewhere is...

...wondering if their teenagers' airheadedness is age-related, or are they just that stupid?

...making a decision to end the life of a beloved, aged, dying pet.

...looking at their better half and falling in love all over again.

...looking at a hummingbird at a feeder outside their livingroom window.

posted by redvixen 16 June | 19:05

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