MetaChat - It's all my fault. Let me have it.

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14 June 2006

It's all my fault. Let me have it. That thing that made you angry, frustrated and full of hate the other day? I'm sorry, but that was me. So get off your high horse and come ride the escape goat. I can take it.

post by: Hellbient at: 10:52 | 39 comments

YOU programmed my insurance company's automated help system to make it nigh-impossible to reach a customer service agent? YOU trained the customer service agents to be infuriatingly dense?

Then.... you die!

posted by agropyron 14 June | 10:54

Wait. Did you mean the scape goat? Or really is it an escape goat?

posted by Specklet 14 June | 10:58

Yes, I did that, agro. I'm very sorry. I don't know why. Yes, I press zero to die now.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 10:58

Speckles, it's an escape goat. Wanna ride?

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 10:59

E-scapegoat. Cause we're online.

posted by agropyron 14 June | 11:00

Escape goats are located at the front, sides and rear of the plane.

posted by jrossi4r 14 June | 11:00

The ones on the plane are dead. Snakes got 'em.

posted by Specklet 14 June | 11:02

E-scapegoatse.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 11:03

Snakes got 'em.

Fuck.

posted by jrossi4r 14 June | 11:06

Awesome! I couldn't figure out why I completely overreacted at the video store the other day when they did not have the DVD I wanted, and then wanted to charge me a $1 "service fee" for using my credit card to rent two DVDs I didn't really want all that much, thus resulting in my tearily snatching back my card and hurumphing out of the store empty-handed because of the HORRENDOUS INJUSTICE OF IT ALL. O! THE HORROR!

But I'm glad there was someone at the root of it all.

posted by occhiblu 14 June | 11:12

Yeah, I invented that $1 service fee thing. I remember how pissed you were occhi. But remember what you did with that time you could have been watching DVDs? That's why I did that.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 11:16

Playing videogames and drinking bourbon with my boyfriend? Well, yeah.... that was kinda fun, actually.

posted by occhiblu 14 June | 11:21

Hellbient, will you pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaze pay me all that money you owe me? I really need it. And you are an asshole; I don't believe your lies. You're never going to pay me, are you? ARE YOU?

posted by taz 14 June | 11:22

taz, I'm sorry, but you will never receive the money I owe you. Closure is a good thing, no?

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 11:27

I STILL WANT MY PONY! I WANT MY PONY! waaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAh!

posted by Lipstick Thespian 14 June | 11:27

LT, your pony is with me. He is safe. He wants to be with you. I would not let him. Know that it wasn't his fault.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 11:38

LT?

I really, really hope the image linking works.

posted by TrishaLynn 14 June | 11:56

Trisha, the pony pic made me LOL. . .I am SO saving it for future use.

posted by danf 14 June | 12:00

Would you stop with the nail-cutting on the bus already? It sets my teeth on edge and makes me seriously want to come over there and perform a nasal-access lobotomy with those f**king clippers. Don't think I won't do it.

posted by elizard 14 June | 12:03

HB: I knew I couldn't count on the codes you sent me through the Voice's horroscopes! My issue has turned the participants of our mission into a scary us that varies what it can serve the handicapped unicorn with. It's a shame, 'cause that beast is a gem innit (despite a lil' B.O)?

What's the word I'm thinking of? In German it is: Liebe, and now thanks to you my heart is in pieces. I must write songs wtih saggy guitars to score people and encourage them to no longer fear you. Even as you are what tore us apart and gave me this vertigo!

posted by safetyfork 14 June | 12:04

Ponies are so over. I want a taun taun. One with a roomy interior.

posted by jrossi4r 14 June | 12:05

*Shakes fist at hellbient* I'll see you in HELL, escapegoat.

(Actually, I first typed "shakes fish at hellbient")

posted by taz 14 June | 12:11

elizard - yeah, i know that's annoying. I don't know why I do that. I think it's nerves - I'm a weak person. I'm sorry about that - thing is, I'm certain I will do it again.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 12:12

Ponies are so over. I want a taun taun. One with a roomy interior.

You are so fucking specist, jrossi4r. It is high time that someone steps up to the plate and says this to you. The rest of the group elected me to do this.

We're saying this out of love. In time, you will come to realize that.

posted by danf 14 June | 12:16

safetyfork - you knew and yet you still got worked up. But aren't we all handicapped unikorns of one type or another?
You must write a song about these things, please encourage people not to fear me. I want to be punished, I want to absorb your hategoo and guiltslime so that the lovejuice can flow...

ew.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 12:20

hellbient, I see how you just ignore my complaints! You jerkso! Just because I couldn't rhyme every zodiac sign with something intelligible doesn't mean you can gloss over my efforts. Paddybutt!

On preview: It's about time!

posted by safetyfork 14 June | 12:22

jross - here is your taun taun. I'm sorry it's dead. That too, is my fault.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 12:22

On complete read: double ew!

posted by safetyfork 14 June | 12:23

WhatEVER danf. If you can't accept the natural superiority of the taun taun, I have nothing to say to you. You wouldn't last a day on Hoth!!!

Thanks, hellbient. Dead is fine. I'll put some solar panels on it and build a porch. Cozy!

posted by jrossi4r 14 June | 12:26

Please pay your rent so I don't have to hound you like this every month. It's always due on the 1st. How hard is that to remember?

posted by krix 14 June | 12:36

HELLBIENT, i had no idea that you were the old stupid neurologist who, after spending 30 minutes with me, told me my problem was that being a librarian had "too much paperwork," and that i should go to career counseling, like i hadn't already been twice before and found it supremely unhelpful, and like i hadn't already spent years of my life trying to figure out what to do with the other years of my life. you are a horrible boring self-righteous bitch.

it's odd that you seemed so nice (as well as younger and male) at the meet-up. CONFUSATRON!

this is TMI, isn't it. sorry, i needed to vent.

posted by unknowncommand 14 June | 12:37

jross, I was raised by Tuscan Raiders on Tatooine.

I know from badass. Don't fuck with me.

posted by danf 14 June | 12:40

So, hellbient, you're my ex-boyfriend (if one can call somebody you broke up with in 1978 an "ex")? That's astonishing: seeing as you needed my expert advice simply to install some software on your fancy new Mac last Friday night, I'm rather amazed that you've turned up on the interweb. Of course, at the time, going through software installation ABCs with you seemed like a reasonable deal, because you do make a good martini, and your home theatre setup rocks. The DVD I brought over sounded f*cking awesome, despite it being an audience shot bootleg, and made up for me having to listen with half an ear to you gripe about and mock your other friends (who I also knew way back when), as you so often do. However, I managed to forget the DVD itself at your place, and when you called me this morning to tell me that you'd watched it again with one of those same friends who you were criticizing so harshly, you inadvertently made it clear through your comments-- because you are clueless about human relations-- that you had been griping about and mocking me in exactly the same way. So go away now.

P.S. I know I fucked you in an experimental/nostalgic way last year, but it ain't ever going to happen again. So don't even try.

And 'There There' is NOT 'Sunshine Superman' played slowly.

posted by jokeefe 14 June | 13:00

safetyfork, I'm sorry I had no idea what you were talking about after your first sentence. I'm to blame for that as well.

krix, every month I get so excited about the new month, I forget I have to pay for it. It's my fault, I know.

Unknowncommand - yes, i am an old stupid neurologist. It was a test - you see I couldn't tell you. But I've also given you the word "Confusatron".

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 13:11

jokeefe - God, I know. It's been a long, strange trip, eh? I know it's strange and I'm a social retard, but I really do enjoy your company (even if we don't do it anymore - forgive me if I try again). Thanks again for the install and the DVD. Should I mail it back to you?
Come on - the part that goes "dun dun do dun" kinda sounds like it? All right, maybe not.

posted by Hellbient 14 June | 13:21

Aw, danf, when two nerds go to war, one is all that you can score. Kiss me like you did by the lake on Naboo, then we'll go make smores on my taun taun porch.

posted by jrossi4r 14 June | 13:55

Kiss me like you did by the lake on Naboo,

I was never on Naboo, jross. Check my interstellar passport.

Who the hell ELSE have you been kissing? Oh and pass a marshmallow.

posted by danf 14 June | 15:08

Yes, sir, you have to move. Yes, sir, I know it's really hard to find a seat now that it's 20 minutes into the game. Yes, sir, I am an official and yes, I really do need a clear view of the track. No, sir, I can not follow the movement of 80 women wearing 640 wheels with you standing in front of me. Yes, I know it's packed. Yes, I know it's hot. No, you can't sit here.

LOOK, YOU FUCKWIT, ELEVEN HUNDRED OTHER PEOPLE FOUND SEATS JUST FINE SO GO. THE FUCK. AWAY.

Also, thank you for supporting local roller derby!

posted by eamondaly 14 June | 15:57

You know what you did. Do I have to remind you? 'nough said.

posted by Pips 14 June | 16:17

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