Chew your nails with me? I sure could use some sympathetic cuticle shredding... →[More:]The New York State Education Department has had my application for what they call "Professional Certification," which is the final level of certification, since last July. I won't bore you with all the speedbumps along the way since then, but, finally, I'm supposed to get word by close of tomorrow. Could it be? Dare I get my hopes up?

In the meantime, the NYC Department of Education payroll office has drawn a line in the sand: June 30th and they're cuttin' me off, i.e., taking me off payroll if my certification's not straightened out. I've "technically" been teaching without a license since last August, when my previous certificate expired. No matter what, though, my summer checks will still be good (they were earned during the prior school year). Still, the level of stomach acid on this is unbelievable.

It took a letter from my school superintendent to finally get some play from the state. A nice lady at the state office named Marie, with a three-pack-a-day rasp of a voice, took pity on me and sent an email to the mysterious evaluators and said I'd hear within three business days. That was last Friday. Nothing yet, but it's only Tuesday... right?

After all that coursework, a master's degree, three four-hour state exams, four years of teaching (including AP English), it comes down to this.

I need a scotch. Make it a double.