MetaChat - I'm drunk at an airport.

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

09 June 2006

I'm drunk at an airport. →[More:] What should I do for the next two hours?

post by: cmonkey at: 16:07 | 25 comments

Get drunkerer! And then start asking if people want to see your bitchin' MySpace page!

posted by fenriq 09 June | 16:08

See if you can find a baggage cart to ride?

Find an empty ticket counter, stand behind it and wait for people to line up?

posted by Capn 09 June | 16:10

open url: http://www.cheesereporter.com.

stare at it, with your body motionless, making sure you are and your screen are in eyeshot of others, until you sober up. and then get drunk again.

posted by danf 09 June | 16:12

Find me good electronic music to put into my set tonight.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 09 June | 16:13

say you've got some time to kill and ask if you can be strip searched.

Start petting people's pet luggage.

posted by Hellbient 09 June | 16:14

Find me good electronic music to put into my set tonight.

What kind of electronic music?

posted by cmonkey 09 June | 16:20

Wank off in the bathroom.

posted by Specklet 09 June | 16:21

Find an empty ticket counter, stand behind it and wait for people to line up?

then wank off. To electronic music.

posted by elizard 09 June | 16:22

Think along the lines of Hallucinogen, Shpongle, Amorphous Androgynous, or anything with a killer dance pulse.

Failing that, bring on the rawk.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 09 June | 16:25

Hey cmonkey . .according to another post, you should be out ruling the world. . .

Get WITH it!. . .what are you doing drunk in an airport anyway?

posted by danf 09 June | 16:30

If you're waiting to fly, try to get sober.

I've watched way too many episodes of Airline.

posted by deborah 09 June | 16:31

Some suggestions from Specklet's thread:

Monkey: flings poop at woman, flings poop at man, eats cockroach, enrages wolf, rips up sponge, rips up paper...infuriates alien

Of course, you may have a longer wait at the airport than expected at that point.

posted by elizard 09 June | 16:36

Again!

posted by safetyfork 09 June | 16:37

I had the same thought as Deborah (and for the same reason)...don't get too drunk.

posted by YouCanCallMeAl 09 June | 16:46

If you're sitting at a table, move to the bar! I've had some great conversations with people stuck in airports, including the daughter of a friend of mine (we'd never met but she was on her way home on leave from Korea and we were on the same flight), and also this guy.

posted by Doohickie 09 June | 16:46

I should have I'm drunk at the airport printed on a stamp just to save time with my diary entries.

Try to sneak into the duty free.

posted by Divine_Wino 09 June | 16:55

Yeah, cmonkey, they won't let you on the plane if you're drunk. Unless you're flying it.

posted by essexjan 09 June | 17:11

Don't fall over and get a compound fracture.

posted by StickyCarpet 09 June | 17:13

I'm with doohickie. Go to the bar, hang out, meet fellow travelers. Even if they're creepily normal. And they'll let you on the plane unless you're, like, falling down barfing drunk. I know this, because I have plane phobia and there is no earthly way I could get onto a plane stone cold sober.

posted by mygothlaundry 09 June | 17:27

Yell out:

I have a motherf&cking bomb on the motherf&cking plane!

Either that or find another drunken traveller for some pre-flight groping.

posted by porpoise 09 June | 17:50

How come no one's asked the monkey where he's going? (Assuming he's going somewhere, and not just looking for new drinking spots.) I want to know!

posted by mudpuppie 09 June | 18:30

He's not going, he's coming. To Portland! Yaaaay!

posted by Specklet 09 June | 18:49

Getting on a plane drunk is definitely allowed. I've done so more than I care to admit.

Pre-9/11 I'd even done it while crazy-ass sloppy drunk. Post-9/11 I've always held it to politely drunk...

posted by I Love Tacos 09 June | 18:51

He's not going, he's coming. To Portland! Yaaaay!

Well then, where's he been??

posted by mudpuppie 09 June | 18:52

I was in Oakland, visiting people I haven't seen for upwards of 10 years. It was completely overwhelming and weird and awesome.

posted by cmonkey 09 June | 22:37

← Did Raymond Chandler Invent Google? || Futbol, anyone? →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN