Yes. Yes, they are. It's a known fact.

Yes, I certainly am.

Damn straight.

That's me. (Of course I don't speak for all, I get the point.)

Thanks, now I need to go scrub my eyeballs with bleach.

Luscious latina ladies lollygagging lustily.

I'm almost entirely different.

≡ Click to see image ≡

Hugh. . only the women of Metachat or like that. .but then we know they they are the cream of the crop.

Yeah, most women are like that, which is why so many women have body image issues. Sad, really.

One day I'll be able to elucidate my discomfort with all sexism in a constructive and persuasive manner. Until then, for fear of dragging myself down the blade of a double-edged sword, I'll post mealy-mouthed, passive-aggressive, bullshit jokes like this.

I knew it was passive-aggressive, but it was cute anyway.

Honestly, I thought it was mean. And yes, passive aggressive and bullshitty. You made your thoughts clear (in a less-than-constructive way) in the thread that prompted this, Hugh. This thread was just mean-spirited, I think, and I wouldn't have posted in it if I'd already scrolled down further on the main page. Would rather not be a part of this joke.

I don't get it. It's a yellow square that says "Made You Look" on it.

Well, what am I supposed to do? I don't think it would fly to frame my personal experience with any one obnoxious woman into a general lament/query implying or stating that all women are obnoxious, would it? It's such an insulting and sexist way to post that I wouldn't even know how to go about it. What does one do when one sees themselves slandered en masse like that? Roll over, because it's some kind of vindication of a percieved or imagined historical behavior by one group against another? Someone once asked me why I always get offended here, and my answer hinges on this kind of thing. It's great to see a site that has a nice even ratio of sexes, and this one succeeds by discouraging acrimony, deriding personal beefs, and nipping bigotry in the bud. But it's very hard to make it clear that the same sexual pigeonholing that upsets some women, upsets some men. And of course the argument can be made that the poster in question had a real issue she was asking for real help with, and that's fine; that's the whole point of this place (my beef is with the framing, not the post). But it just isn't okay, never has been, to make insulting generalizations and rude assumptions about half the population based on personal experience and a feeling that one can get away with those insults because the crowd either agrees or is afraid to disagree. That's what it feels like here, and that's the thing that has me running to the hills. Sorry to offend.

You did notice the question mark in her post, right?

Dude, that question mark was like one at the end of this "question:"

Are all hispanics thieves?

Ah! Hugh! I love you, but this twitchy sensitivity about possible anti-male stuff makes me shudder. I agree with you that things should be equal, and I think I usually make that clear, but you can't even imagine what living as a woman is like. You may imagine that you can... but really you can't.

And I can't even imagine what living like a minority woman is like in any country, or a minority man. We all need to try to imagine that ... and you need to be less sensitive about 1st world white guys, Hugh - they still pretty much rule the world.

Look. I don't rule the world. I try to treat everyone well. I stick up for the rights of people who aren't me. You know who rules the world? A bunch of rich men and women, that's who. I don't rule shit. So when someone tells me I do rule the world, or subjugate women, or make a mess for others to pick up, it makes me mad. Especially if they use the excuse of some other individual's behavior to form a low opinion of me.

If I ran the place, yeah, I could put my arms back on my yacht cushions and say, "yeah, yeah, we're assholes, but we rule the world." The idea that I do is fucking bullshit, and a poor excuse for flouting the Golden Rule.

And yeah, I love you, too.

I'm with Hugh on this one, although not a big fan of how he dealt with it. The question made me cringe, too, and for the same reason. Of course all men aren't like that, and I agree that the phrasing of that question was extremely insulting. With apologies to taz, I don't see it as an issue of what it's like to be a woman. Actually, I find the conforming-to-stereotype "omg my boyfriend is such a slob but that's men, eh?" thing embarrassing to watch. Things just aren't like that any more, and if that's the kind of relationship you're in, show some agency and deal with it. I stayed out of the thread because a good discussion had started, but am glad to have been able to say my piece about this.

I liked the one of the Disco Ball Girl and Superwoman. Does this site have a calendar?

Okay, now I'm irritated.

...the same sexual pigeonholing that upsets some women, upsets some men.

Well, DUH.

Why don't you just say that instead of posting bitchy threads?

Actually, I find the conforming-to-stereotype "omg my boyfriend is such a slob but that's men, eh?" thing embarrassing to watch.

I agree. I was reading a post on a blog the other day (this one) about 'Man Caves'-- den, garage, basement, etc. At first I was laughing and enjoying the good writing, but then I clicked over to the comments... there was a whole lot of "oh, yes, guys need their toys, aren't they cute, LOL' style comments that on their own might've seemed harmless but after 50 or so of these comments added up to me feeling sorry for these guys and being frustrated at the commenters. 'Wow,' I thought. 'These women don't seem to have much respect for their husbands.'

I thought about why I was feeling this way and discussed it with my girlfriend and we agreed: It was Sexism, plain and simple.

So Hugh, when you say But it's very hard to make it clear that the same sexual pigeonholing that upsets some women, upsets some men, I am with you 100%.

Why don't you just say that instead of posting bitchy threads?

I was afraid of being accused of bitchiness.

Okay. I've had something to drink and shouldn't be posting, but... One poster asks "Are all men like this?"... and you freak?

Gaaaah. I've been living with men all my life, with no trouble - either from them or me. I'm fed up with all of you people who can't deal with it. And I've had most of the worst things happen to me. Sheeesh. Please calm down. If anyone should be angry about nasty sex stuff, I'm one of 'em. And I'm not. Just back off.

show some agency and deal with it

Damn, that was harsh. If you need to vent, or do want some help dealing with it, by all means talk to the gang about it. The people here are great for that, and there were some wonderful, helpful, insightful comments made. But if you open with that kind of salvo, expect to piss people off, some of whom might otherwise have had something good to say.

Now that I've seriously posted my feelings on the subject, and been told that I'm "bitchy" ("DUH!") and that I have "freaked" and that I should "back off," I realize I should have stuck to the jokes.

I'm talking about fairness, and how I wish some folks on this site thought twice before posting rude generalizations. Same goes for women as for men, ethnicities, races, sexual preferences, and all the other divisions we cherish and abhor.

I think your reaction sucks, taz. And that "one poster" line is a disingenuous misreading of the situation.

I'll take your advice, though. Ciao.

*backs off*

Sorry, Hugh. I still love you... but this game is not happening. Leave if you want to leave (though I hope you don't), or stay if you want to stay.

You could stop being hypocritical on this, taz.

It undermines your otherwise excellent qualities at Admin here.

Taz not long ago, as linked above:

This is just about the different (and bizarre) standards used in media to talk about women, as opposed to men in the same context.

No one is going to read this right?


Easy now stars.


Hugh,
Sometimes you have to serve your own purposes and sometimes you have to ride your own hobby horses or deal with your own naked lunch, I have things that itch at me and some times I address them and sometimes I let them go, so I only speak from at least a semi-sympathetic point of view. I hope you take this with the notion that I am a friend and a pal and a partisan:

You can't fix this (Place, Issue, Humans), it's nice here, you know that, nothing is ever exactly right and probably in the end that is a good thing BUT you do have to try, you are a good egg, don't change. Also don't expect too much change.


Taz:

Hugh is a good egg (I said this already), you know that. I was thinking the other day that the great/strange thing about interacting in text is that you can project yourself in a way that is like a reflection of what your inner life is like. I don't talk exactly like I write, I don't even think even exactly like I write, it's a third way. Hugh (I think) is exactly like that, he cares so sometimes he slams his hand down on the table but that is not his whole self or his whole intention and I would ask that it be respected, which you do, but you also sometimes speak to Hughs mecha persona which is not the whole story.

Am I failing to articulate? Should I delete this? I adore you both, I adore you all. Let's keep fighting and eating together maybe and solve nothing and enjoy things.

was it george bernard shaw or oscar wilde who once said, "bitches aint shit but hoes & trickz"?

I think I can simplify things a bit. (And the "you" here is general, by the way.)

*clears throat*

Being pissed off at sexism is good.

Rational discussion about why sexism pisses you off is good.

Having a beef about the fact that the world has sexism in it? Good.

Aiming that beef at a first-time Metachat poster who happens to stumble across your line of decorum and happens to say something that offends you [and, of course, we all know that the whole world ought to agree with you, because otherwise they're wrong], and then venting that beef in the form of a post that very obviously makes fun of said first-time Metachat poster, which post invites others to do the same.... That's, well, not good.

It's the kind of thing that would make me not want to ever post again, and I'm assuming I'm not the only one sensitive like that.

I'm talking about fairness, and how I wish some folks on this site thought twice before posting rude generalizations.

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. This has always been my motto.

Having said that, you caught me with vinegar a while back and I've never forgotten it while posting here. One at a time, my friend.

Wedge you are a known troll! That takes stamina. I suggest lots of beef broth and sleeping away from strong drafts.


Mudpuppie,
Hi. I'll let Hugh respond or not, I'm just filling out a comment. How was your day?

TrishaLynn
I once caught a fly with chopsticks, I think they made a movie about it.

Divine_Wino,

Hi. How are you? I am mostly fine, but my head is all full of snot. This is because of trees. I like trees, but I do not like snot.

Yours,
mudpuppie

little buzzarded, listening to sirius radio. Going to join the irc. Why not?

irc=Irish Republican Custard

We are the world
We are the children

alright god damnit, everyone needs to shut up for a minute and dance. Right now. I'm serious. Do it. Do it. Enough of this talk about leaving - we are all strong and good people here. One thing we all have - booties, so I wanna see them moving. Now. I'm at werk and I'm doing it. And I'm bumping my shit up, since everyone else is:
GoGo Mecha.