MetaChat - help me put the moves on a shy guy

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

08 June 2006

help me put the moves on a shy guy so I met this guy at a rock show. →[More:]we are both pretty new to this city. he is here for an internship. he is from another country. his english is not 100%. we have been out 4 or 5 times, and had a great time but nothing ever happens. he is sooo shy. he is soo cute. we are both single. we like all the same bands. we are going to a reception at my work tomorrow, and then going out to a show maybe. I wanna jump his bones, but I'm kinda shy too. he doesn't drink, so my standard m.o. is out the window. any practical advice?

post by: modavis at: 19:05 | 16 comments

i think you should try kissing him. i'm pretty sure this will work.

posted by sam 08 June | 19:06

i think you already know what you need to do. be brave, i'm sure it'll work out grand.

by the way, it's a myth that men always lead the way. it's often a two-way process of mutual encouragement, and if he initially needs a little more encouragement in the right direction then that's fine.

posted by dodgygeezer 08 June | 19:34

It can't be said enough: Guys are clueless. He would love to jump your bones too, but he's afraid you'll reject him. The summer is well underway, kiss him now.

posted by LarryC 08 June | 19:38

I find the atmosphere at a club or gig can often be just as emotionally intoxicating as a few drinks would be. They also provide excellent excuses to get up close and personal with someone. If you're already sending heavy body language signals then it shouldn't be too hard to convert them into something a little more physical.

Otherwise sometimes just a "Hey, I like you and I think you like me" can go surprisingly far.

posted by hugsnkisses 08 June | 20:11

Kiss him.

or send him an inter-office memo.

Either works for me, at least.

posted by rumple 08 June | 20:15

"Hey, I like you and I think you like me"

I'm a big fan of this approach -- both delivering and recieving this approach -- and it carries less emotional risk than leaning in for that kiss and having him step back in surprise and displeasure. Just in case.

posted by Miko 08 June | 21:06

Men can be really thick about this stuff. You practically have to wave your boobs in our face before we feel secure in thinking 'maybe she likes me.'

Not that I'm suggesting facial boob-waving, but if the spirit moves you, I won't argue.

posted by jonmc 08 June | 22:23

Yeah, we aren't too bright at the best of times and that, coupled with our fear of rejection, means that sometimes you need to explain it to us like a two-year-old. Umm, not that I suggest explaining sexual attraction to a two-year-old, but you know what I mean.

Consider it a good sign that he cares enough to be worried about rejection - if he didn't like you, he wouldn't care.

posted by dg 08 June | 22:29

sam nailed it in the first post.

posted by porpoise 09 June | 00:56

"accidently" bump your tit into his arm or back at any convenient opportunity... (might have to do this several times!) and make sure to leave it there longer than you ordinarily(?) would. failing that, you'll either have to dry hump his leg or just come out and say it.

posted by Wedge 09 June | 01:02

Some might be surprised but I'm actually way shy when it comes to romance. My current partner basically had to say "what do you think about friends having sex?" and then "I think we should have sex". It worked. So you can try that or just lean in for a kiss without the prelude, but I definitely recommend the forward approach.

BTW, those quotes may not be exact, that was 11 years ago.

posted by safetyfork 09 June | 06:36

*is completely squicked by Wedge's advice*

I say go for the verbal first - just tell him you dig him. One of the sexiest things a woman ever said to me was in a cafe over coffee: "I think you're one of the sexiest men I've ever met, and I don't know what to do about it." (She was dating someone else at the time.)

Just be open and honest. You'll never go wrong.

*wonders what happened to his Sexiest Men I've Ever Met Days*

posted by Lipstick Thespian 09 June | 11:28

*also thinks Wedge's advice is squicky*

I'm a big fan of the "Hey, so do you want to make out?" approach.

posted by Specklet 09 June | 14:02

squicky? or 99.9% effective?

*note: dont actually dry hump his leg. sheesh

posted by Wedge 09 June | 17:12

Squicky, Wedge.

Reminds me of the time I was on a crowded train and a man started rubbing his erection on my ass.

I would never rub/rest my tits on someone without knowing for absolute sure they wanted me to.

posted by Specklet 09 June | 17:30

yeah, see? he tried to dry hump, right off the bat. you really gotta build to that.

posted by Wedge 09 June | 18:12

← Awesome! || what should i wear to a summer wedding. →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN