I can't bring myself to eat anything that's fallen on the floor in my house, because I have a dog, and his paws have been outside, and they've walked in dog pee, dog poop, bird poop, dead bugs, squishy worms, and god knows what else, and then those paws have come inside and walked all over my kitchen floor. So if something drops, he has dibs on it.

On the way to the elevator here at work today, I saw a big-ass dead roach on the lobby floor. I took a picture of it. Security guards must've thought I was either a health inspector or crazy.

Don't eat it if its dead.

By the way, if you try getting rid of germs on your food by blowing on it or dusting it off, you're wasting your time. It doesn't work.

Um, yeah, but you can still brush off the lint and animal hair and dirt, right? That still works, right? Jesus.

I won't eat anything that's fallen to the floor, only the carpet monster really knows what's down there.

Eating something after five seconds is just nasty. Three, on the other hand, is just fine.