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31 May 2006

This is a place to file all those questions that don't really fit anywhere else. →[More:]

Such as, why does KFC use an instrumental version of "Sweet Home Alabama" in its commercials? It's Kentucky Fried Chicken, not Alabama Fried Chicken.

And, have you seen the commercials for the drug "Flowmax"? Is that not the worst possible name they could have come up with for a pill that makes men wee more easily?

post by: mudpuppie at: 12:02 | 44 comments

Also, what is the deal with airline peanuts?

posted by keswick 31 May | 12:12

have you seen the commercials for the drug "Flowmax"?

Flow not so fast, ye fountains;
What needeth all this haste?
Swell not above your mountains,
Nor spend your time in waste.
Gentle springs, freshly your salt tears
Must still fall dropping from their spheres.

posted by tangerine 31 May | 12:13

Why don't I have more energy? Why can't I just go out and do everything I want to do?

Why isn't my DVD of Aguirre the Wrath of God in widescreen format? Was the movie just filmed in a non-widescreen aspect ratio?

What drives one to become a librarian? Is it the idea of being lord of a vast archive? Or is it a teacher mindset where you're motivated by helping people find information? Or just bizarre obsessiveness?

Should I buy a big tract of land in the wilderness and found a MetaChat chicken ranch?

posted by agropyron 31 May | 12:19

I got one answer: tomatoes. Not chickens.

posted by Specklet 31 May | 12:34

Why does Starbucks piss me off so damn much? (or Wal-Mart, or You-Name-It Cineplex, or American Idol?)

Why do I feel like I know what dogs are thinking better than people?

Why do I only get nightmares when I sleep on my back?

Why do I love airports?

posted by Lipstick Thespian 31 May | 12:41

Why do big stores always have to play loud music at me?

posted by JanetLand 31 May | 12:46

Should I buy a big tract of land in the wilderness and found a MetaChat chicken ranch?

agropyron: Have you read this?

posted by JanetLand 31 May | 12:53

Heh! Great answer JanetLand.

Specklet: Can it be both? Tomatoes and chickens? And maybe cilantro.

posted by agropyron 31 May | 13:00

Someone understands me!

posted by mudpuppie 31 May | 13:02

Why do good things happen to bad people? And why do people listen to conference calls in their cubes on speakerphone?

posted by tr33hggr 31 May | 13:04

Tomatoes and chickens it is.

posted by JanetLand 31 May | 13:04

Why do I like people a lot, but never visit anyone?

posted by kmellis 31 May | 13:08

Why is it that people who are obviously less intelligent than I can afford to buy Cadillac Escalantes and I'm stuck riding the bus?

posted by deadcowdan 31 May | 13:21

Ahh! hes to cute i want to squeeze him.....Only i dont want him to become ketchup chicken!!!!

(Janet, your link is broken)

posted by agropyron 31 May | 13:29

Crap. Oh, well, same picture as yours anyway.

posted by JanetLand 31 May | 13:31

Why can't I, just for once, say all I want to tell you in a short, complete, accurate sentence?

posted by carmina 31 May | 13:43

I'm hungry.

posted by Specklet 31 May | 13:46

Will I ever find that elusive thing I am seeking?

posted by matildaben 31 May | 13:51

Why is Mountain Dew so tasty?

posted by Hugh Janus 31 May | 14:17

Why does Organic milk have such a long expiration date compared to regular milk?

Is that the same mouse that was in our house last year? (The one I captured in the garbage bag, shook off the back porch, and watched scamper away in the middle of the night?)

Why does that helicopter keep circling?

Have you seen my shoes?

posted by Pips 31 May | 14:24

Is that the same mouse that was in our house last year?

same question here. I spotted it darting across the place one night.
If it is, I really hope it's escaped by now.
Mystery poo is bad, but squashed mouse is worse.

I have seen your shoes but not in a while.

posted by ethylene 31 May | 14:35

agropyron: There is no widescreen version of Aguirre, the Wrath of God. Like many foreign or low-budget movies (and almost all Hollywood movies filmed prior to the 1950s), it was shot to be projected at a 4:3 (width:height) aspect ratio -- pretty much the same as that of your TV screen.

posted by Atom Eyes 31 May | 14:36

Did I lock the car?

posted by krix 31 May | 14:45

I got another answer:

Pips, for some reason they pasturize the HELL out of organic milk.

posted by Specklet 31 May | 14:47

Gonk, gonk Ewok?

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 31 May | 14:51

Where's my solid gold pony?
Where's my windfall?
Where are my coconspiritors?
Where is my head at?

I should go exfoliate.

posted by ethylene 31 May | 14:51

Where do you sell a solid gold pony for maximum cash?
Why is chocolate the best thing right now?
oh wait, i know that one.

posted by ethylene 31 May | 14:54

Why don't you tell me what you are really thinking? (Yes, I am asking for it)

Why don't you even talk to me? (No, now I am really asking for it!)

posted by carmina 31 May | 15:00

Do I need to see a therapist?

posted by carmina 31 May | 15:01

Do *you* need to see a therapist?

posted by carmina 31 May | 15:03

agropyron: There is no widescreen version of Aguirre, the Wrath of God.

I suspected as much, but wasn't sure how to confirm it. Thank you, Atom Eyes!

posted by agropyron 31 May | 15:04

carmina: Does this therapist have my shoes?

posted by Pips 31 May | 15:08

Why do I only get nightmares when I sleep on my back?

You're more likely to stop breathing at night when you sleep on your back. People with sleep apnea have to be particularly careful about this - my dad used to pin a sock with marbles in it to the back of his t-shirt at night. I'd imagine that interrupted breathing could lead to nightmares.

And why do people listen to conference calls in their cubes on speakerphone?

'Cause they're dicks.

Will I ever find that elusive thing I am seeking?

Yes. You'll find it at the basement of the Alamo.

Why is Mountain Dew so tasty?

Two words: Goat Pee.

Why does that helicopter keep circling?

They're on to you.

posted by SassHat 31 May | 15:08

Why can't I stop thinking about that silicone injecting groin guy?
the lack of context and reason haunts me.

posted by ethylene 31 May | 15:31

Why did I meet him now when we have to be apart for so many years instead of when we're older and can just beeeee together?

posted by Lotto 31 May | 15:41

Why do I have such a bad headache? I never get headaches? And why haven't I taken anything to make it go away yet?

posted by occhiblu 31 May | 15:42

And why did I make that second sentence a question?

posted by occhiblu 31 May | 15:43

Why can't I win the lottery? Why do people I like stop communicating with me? Why can't things be normal? Why can't I be normal? Why don't I have a chicken farm in the mountains of Washington? Why do I crave things I know are bad for me?

posted by deborah 31 May | 15:57

Flatiron steak with brie mashed potatoes, or gaspacho with shrimp?

posted by chewatadistance 31 May | 17:00

What is this gold pony doing in my room?

Who turned me in?

From Betty the Bulldog to LT (telepathically): Buy me a beer?

posted by Pips 31 May | 17:14

What happened to the sour cream and chives flavor of Cape Cod potato chips?

posted by nomad 31 May | 17:34

((Betty))

((you have to play catch with me first))

((Sincerely yours, LT))

posted by Lipstick Thespian 31 May | 17:39

Why am I having such trouble envisioning brie mashed potatoes?

posted by occhiblu 31 May | 17:39

When should I go to the store to buy brie and potatoes? Wait, is there still gorgonzola in the fridge?

posted by mudpuppie 31 May | 17:41

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