MetaChat - Things I learned this weekend.

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30 May 2006

Things I learned this weekend. →[More:] I am the worlds worst horseplayer, but I know where to look for tips. I make hard pool shots better than easy ones. When looking for good seafood, the presence of fat seagulls is a good sign. Fried lobster is quite tasty. It is possible to be too drunk to sit down. Louisiana based undertakers are funny people generally speaking. When one is out of papers a serviceable joint can be construsted from a Camel Light. That decadence is the wave of the future.

post by: jonmc at: 09:10 | 51 comments

Also, atop a pile of CD's on my desk I found this picture. I have no idea who she is or how it got there, but damn she hawt.

posted by jonmc 30 May | 09:17

It is possible to be too drunk to sit down.

I know exactly how that feels. God love ya, I hope it passed quickly.

posted by jelly 30 May | 09:19

I learned that if you start mild dieting and weight training at the same time you give yourself plausible deniability.

"well, yeah I didn't lose any, but that's because all this muscle I put on weighs so much more than the fat I burnt off. Now punch me as hard as you can in these rock hard abs.

"OW! CHRIST! Shit, just like Houdini..."

posted by PinkStainlessTail 30 May | 09:22

That the three people I am closest to in the world party like rock stars, and are comfortable enough around me to indulge in gluttony, one of the few vices I don't have.

That "Life of Pi" is an incredible book and that "Housekeeping" is a pretty darn good one. (two books mentioned here on mecha)

I also learned stuff form hours of examination of "Commercial Liability Insurance (module seven)."

And that I am done with Phillip Roth. I tried. I read, I considered. I was left cold.

I learned how I reacted to recent popular movies. "Munich" I walked away from after 20 minutes. "Brokeback Mountain?" I felt they lacked chemistry. "40 Year Old Virgin?" Wonderful. Unfortunately named and marketed. Much cleaner than I expected, and ended with a true Shakespearan Comedic Ending. Thumbs up.

That I am a decent croquet player.

posted by rainbaby 30 May | 09:28

I learned that jonmc and pips are nice enough to let you ride along in their cab after meetups, if you live in ASTORIA! Woot woot!

I learned that Louisiana beads are good as cash.

I learned (the hard way!) that the public pools don't open for another month. And I walked all that way, too!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 30 May | 09:51

jonmc: too drunk to sit down

jonmc: dancing fool

posted by splatta 30 May | 09:57

(Also, when your 5-man cube is empty except for you, it's permissible to dance in your chair to Tower Of Power's "What Is Hip?")

posted by jonmc 30 May | 10:10

Fuckin' floor jumped up an' hit me inna ass.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 May | 10:15

I learned this weekend that I can trade personal writings for filth,
AND
that my director may be gay and interested in me
AND
that Jeff Noon's book Nymphomation is a great read.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 30 May | 10:24

I can't believe it, jonmc; I left papers for you, and you hadda cannibalize a cigarette?

I would've loved to join youse at the meetup, but I was hustled off to Wiggles Friday night. I had a great time, too; sat on the rail for a while, had a couple lap dances (one real nice one on account of my birthday); dropped my tax refund check on live entertainment. Oughtta make Uncle Sam proud.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 May | 10:25

(there was exactly one paper left in that pack, dude. And I was enjoying my naked time so I didn't wanna go out and get more. I bought a deck of EZ's the next day)

posted by jonmc 30 May | 10:28

HA! Sorry about that, bro.

I enjoyed my naked time, too.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 May | 10:33

I learned that when baby goats decide to take a shit that it is best to get way the hell out of the way, because that stuff is rocket propelled. Also, baby goats like to shit. A lot. And sandals are the wrong footwear for baby goat photo ops.

posted by mygothlaundry 30 May | 11:15

When one is out of papers a serviceable joint can be construsted from a Camel Light.

Tampon wrappers work pretty good, too.

posted by StickyCarpet 30 May | 11:26

I learnt that bridge tournaments and cocaine do mix.

posted by gaspode 30 May | 11:28

Same with strip clubs, but I knew that already.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 May | 11:30

I learned that Bushwick dogs hate death metal late at night. It makes them go absolutely insaane. Too much merengae and reggaeton - they need to branch out a bit.

posted by Hellbient 30 May | 11:30

Coked Up at the Bridge Tournament is the name of my new Doom-Spazz-Metal album.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 May | 11:34

I learnt that bridge tournaments and cocaine do mix.

well, the cards are great for chopping lines, I'll bet.

Also, at one point I was sipping a beer, smoking a cigarette and watching a horse race I had money riding on. I considered firing up a joint and screwing in the grandstand just to acheive some kind of Vice Exacta but thought better of it.

posted by jonmc 30 May | 11:38

You'll need nostril holes for your metal mask.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 May | 11:38

My metal mask already has nostril holes che, how the hell else can I rock the aromatherapy candles and make sure the milk ain't sperled?

posted by Divine_Wino 30 May | 11:50

Now, if you had only remember the mouth hole...

posted by jonmc 30 May | 11:51

Maybe you can get screw-in metal straws then, good for all bump varieties.

Yeah, a mouth hole would be good, too! Sometimes you can tell the milks sperlt when it goes down lumpy. Also don't eat flies, they stay alive in your stomach.

posted by Hugh Janus 30 May | 11:53

I just learned that Google Maps is pretty Bitchen

posted by danf 30 May | 12:00

On the usual Sunday hike in the woods with the dog, I came across an obviously very sick wild mouse, which I am now convinced had the plague.

(Actually, all flippancy aside, the poor thing had large black circular blisters or lesions on its head and side, and was certainly too sick to care that a human was staring at it from a couple of feet away. The dog paid no attention to it.)

I also learned that it costs 35 bucks to FedEx things to Florida, and that I can buy Sarah Waters' Affinities in paperback. Also that sitting around in pjamas for hours reading the internet can depress me, but that cleaning the house makes me feel better. Of course I have learned this several hundred times over in the last number of years, but it seems to be a lesson that doesn't stick. [/rambles]

posted by jokeefe 30 May | 12:01

You guys don't listen to much mf doom, huh? The mask is rusty specifically from "drinkin' all the brew".

Man I still want that mask a bunch, and a houseboat and a homebrewing setup. That's some shit I learned this weekend.

posted by Divine_Wino 30 May | 12:01

oh I also learned that if you don't play pool for a long time you suck when you play it again, so you shouldn't talk trash about what a good pool player you are.

posted by gaspode 30 May | 12:14

I totally learned how to make a Wordpress blog. Well, okay, not "totally". More like "barely", really. But I did it. I made my own custom design, and even imported blog entries.

I also learned that Blue Dragon Thai Noodle Sauce sucks the ass of something bigger and uglier and more putrid that is totally sucking ass. And this time, I mean "totally".

posted by taz 30 May | 12:15

and I just then learnt that "learnt" is british english and "learned" is american english and I had never noticed until now that there was actually a variation.

posted by gaspode 30 May | 12:15

Also if you hang out in the right parts of Maryland (and Virginia and the Carolinas, from what I gather) "learned" means the same thing as "taught," as in, "I learned him all he got."

posted by Hugh Janus 30 May | 12:30

hey, taz, is there a site you know of that will help with Wordpress? I've been meaning to look into it, but ya know...

gaspode, it's not the weekend anymore, stop learning stuff.

posted by Hellbient 30 May | 12:34

Well, trishalynn was asking about hosting for Wordpress here, and everyone was saying Dreamhost, so I checked it out (finally! I've been hearing about it...) and decided to give it a try (after figuring out I could get it for under $25 for a year, with a promo code). They offer one-click install, so I didn't have to set it up from scratch. Then, for the rest, I just googled whatever trouble I had as I went along... All formatting/design stuff. Other than that, you can seriously have one up and running in about 15 minutes.

posted by taz 30 May | 12:43

with the one-click install, I mean. (It's actually a little more than one click, but way easy.)

posted by taz 30 May | 12:44

TAMAR looks like Cleopatra Jones!

mmmmmm. YUM!

posted by Joe Famous 30 May | 12:54

Damn skippy she does. I'd make a Oreo double stuf with that anytime....

posted by jonmc 30 May | 12:56

hey, taz, is there a site you know of that will help with Wordpress?

Try wordpress.org/support.

The forum users are really helpful.

*removes taz costume, slinks away*

posted by mudpuppie 30 May | 13:01

All this costume removal is making me CRAZY!!!

posted by Hugh Janus 30 May | 13:04

puppielove! You do the WordPress? If I had known, I would have been knocking on your door all hours of the night.

posted by taz 30 May | 13:08

I learned that if a horse (especially a big-ass Belgian draft horse) doesn't want to go, ain't nothing you can do but get off and lead it.

I learned that I need more experience riding.

I learned that drag races are fun when you know some of the people racing.

I learned that only in farm country would a street machine race come down to two pickup trucks.

I learned that in the next 10 years I need to get this writing thing off to a serious start so I can go live in the country and grow stuff and write and read and have a horse and a dog and no neighbours. (But I do not want to be a farmer.)

posted by elizard 30 May | 13:09

A few things I learned:

1) Blueberry mojitos rock (especially when made motherfuckin' strong by pretty blonde bartenders who vacation in Barcelona).

2) Apparently I look like someone who would understand the code word "Paddles" (I think you know what I'm talkin' about...," the gentleman leaned in and said.)

3) A racing form in the backseat of my car does not make me Bukowski (though it tickles my pickle none-the-less).

4) It needs to be cold for Magic Shell to work. Otherwise, it's just Hershey's (which is not bad, by any means, just not the same, alas).

5) Two pretty girls talkin' together makes guys think "threesome" (not that there's anything wrong with that...). : )

6) Cold Chefs give me goosebumps they're so cool. (ColdChef!)

posted by Pips 30 May | 13:13

5) Two pretty girls talkin' together makes guys think "threesome" (not that there's anything wrong with that...). : )

Corrallary: Two pretty girls giggling and looking evilly at a guy make them giggle even more.

Oh, and I also learned that:

a) It is better to join a party than start your own because party leadership is harder than it looks.

b) I am entirely not ashamed to say and think that I would sleep with cartoon characters.

posted by TrishaLynn 30 May | 14:57

Even Foghorn?

I say, I say...

posted by jonmc 30 May | 15:00

I learned that my crush on Hugh Jackman has gotten so extreme that when he whipped his head up to kiss Jean/Dark Phoenix, I actually had a physical reaction in my panties.

posted by Specklet 30 May | 15:22

now that guy has an enormous ackman.

posted by Hellbient 30 May | 16:27

Specklet, Hugh Jackman is *SO SEXY*. He hosted the Tony Awards last year, and I got to go to the dress rehearsal earlier in the day. It was so early, 8 or 9, he's in jeans and a t-shirt looking SO HOT, and he's so awake and happy, talking to the crowd, cracking jokes, taking pictures and doing dances. Oh, how I love him.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 30 May | 16:35

I swear I read the first part of that sentence (scanning "recent comments") as Specklet, Hugh Janus is *SO SEXY*.

And it was in the Things I Learned This Weekend thread, so I figured, there you go; another NYC meetup.

posted by taz 30 May | 16:48

well, Hugh is pretty cute, taz. NYC is still the hottest group - don't listen to that Pacific NW crowd :p

posted by gaspode 30 May | 16:57

I learned that communism is no joke.

posted by nomad 30 May | 17:03

TPS I'm so incredibly jealous!

Also: I'm not interested in if the West coast or the East coast is hottest; I'm interested in what will happen will happen when the hottnesses collide.

Er, gaspode, you coming to Las Vegas?

posted by Specklet 30 May | 17:06

if only I were, Specklet... that would be teh awesome

Yeah, I agree, collision of hotness (while also being my new band name) will be quite a thing to behold.

posted by gaspode 30 May | 17:12

For the wino.

posted by PinkStainlessTail 30 May | 19:29

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