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Ha! How about that. Funny. I was going to say YMMV, but they smell and taste right. I don't care how im/perfect they are in other ways, that's what it comes down to.
True, perfect doesn't exist. The sooner we all give that idea up, the happier we will be.
But how to tell a good one? I second the scent test.
The other day I realized I could conjure a memory of my main squeeze's scent -- it's imprinted enough for me to actually call up in memory. That was startling, and nice. Remembering how something smells is not usually all that easy. How strange!
Well, it's not the butt smell I'm referring to. But I could go for sniffing the napes of people's necks. It would indeed make it much easier to weed out the non-contenders.
Sweat compatibility isn't really going to tell you how you two are going to get along outside of bed. But what's going on in bed is going to be amazing enough that you'll have incentive to work a bit harder on the other stuff if you have to.
They have to be as fucked up in the head as I am, if not more, and they need to have grown up in a similar way as I did. Other than that, the rest can be worked on.
Yes, perfect exists. Only perfect isn't about fitting her into my own notions of hunky-dory; without the bad parts, she wouldn't be perfect. I only really love her if I can love what I hate about her. All these contradictions (and much more) add up to perfection.
Seriously, what me and mrs richat have is pretty cool. She has taught me optimism while I have taught her to take the world with a slightly more cynical view (sounds like I got the best of that one didn't I?). Also, we seem to compliment each other in life...when I need a hand up because I'm feeling low, she's always there to help out. And vice versa. It's pretty amazing once you do find it.
I'm totally with Orange Swan on this one. Hot to me is so much more than looks. Good looks go only so far with me; if someone can't hold my interest for more than a couple of hours, even if he looks like Johnny Depp, there's nothing there.
It seems more useful to figure out what the dealbreakers are, and then watch out for them.
If you're into someone and there are no dealbreakers, you're good to go. So the second part of the question becomes, "What kind of people do you really like to be with?", which is an easier question to answer than "What makes a perfect SO?"
Yah, but. . . you're not going to be but so into them unless they smell right. So then you get tied up in "I really like them and the bed is good and they aren't breaking any of the deals" - but it still isn't going to work. The nose knows.
If you're into someone and there are no dealbreakers, you're good to go. So the second part of the question becomes, "What kind of people do you really like to be with?", which is an easier question to answer than "What makes a perfect SO?"
This strikes me as a brilliant Occam's razor of relationships. I affirm this idea wholeheartedly.
And as to rainbaby's point -- I can't imagine things being good in bed with someone who doesn't smell good. I really can't. The two seem to go together. So if 'not fun in bed/doesn't smell good' is a dealbreaker (as it would be for me), then having the smell thing aligned right is a free pass out of that dealbreaker problem.
For awhile I was doing, in my mind, a 3 year test. If you know someone for a couple of weeks, months, or whatever, and you are either sleeping with them or headed that way, it is a fun exercise to project one's self into the future a few years and let the imagination run freely, with what is presently known about the person, and what is presently known about one's self.
Having the hots for someone. .well why would you get together with someone in the first place, without that? It will come and go in the course of years. . die off, rekindle, etc., but good sexual communication and openness would be a huge plus.
But the older I get, the more I realize that I don't really know about any of this and the more mysterious it all becomes.
And, apparently, upon preview, the more incoherent my posts become.
The toughest question is how to distinguish between a potential Significant Other (in the sense of a long-term committed relationship) and a relationship that should really be thought of as more short-term or less committed. And how to be comfortable about that decision (both as an individual and as a couple) once it has been made.
- the steady grace of Mudpuppie
- the fashion sense of Specklet
- the fearless fun of Wimpdork
- the stature of Elizard
- the in-your-face-itude of TrishaLynn
- the sweetness of Miko
- the ferocity of Viachicago
- the sly wit of Essexjan
- the goofiness of Small Ruminant
- the eyes of Frisbee Girl
- the wild creativity of Mrs. Pants
- the welcoming of Matildaben
- the friendliness of Tangerine
okay...basically, I want a hulking, gigantic Godzilla mashup of every woman I've ever met on Metachat. Only then will I know what perfection truly is, because I see how Perfection is shown to me by the amazing qualities of all you hotties.
I have spoken.
(this message was generated by the Mushomatic v2.0)
What agropyron and StickyCarpet said. The mister is far from perfect, but he's perfect for me. We support each other's weaknesses and can rely on each other's strengths. And in spite of the age difference and different upbringing we're so compatible it's scary.
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