ProTip: Pop-Tarts do not require toasting to be delicious. :)

I know. But Still.

Our office banned microwave popcorn due to the fire alarm going off too many times, causing the building to be evacuated, causing the COO to send out a full-company email documenting the precise dollar amount of lost revenue.

Employees are expected to use their personal toasters. Coin operated electrical outlets will be installed for this purpose. Employees must receive certification and training on their own time from the OSHA representative on toaster handling.

Not to mention the fact that I lost $1.75 last week in two of those machines on the north and south sides!

DEATH TO THEM!!!!

causing the COO

If he shared his job with someone else, would that make him the Co-COO?

Not to mention the fact that I lost $1.75 last week in two of those machines on the north and south sides!

It was a fluke at the Northside machine, but Southside of is the baddest part of the floor...

Do they have the brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts in your vending machine? Those are the best.

Chocolate Fudge. We also have Ramen Noodles, Habanero Doritos and Bumble Bee Tuna Salad & Crackers kits.

No Cheesehorns, sadly.

I tried the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough flavored Pop-Tarts. Sounded like a match made in heaven, but I was disappointed. Also, since you're tosating the dough inside the pasty, dosen't it simply become a cookie inside a pop-tart?

I need to lie down.

I like the chocolate chip cookie dough pop tarts. Of course, I feel like I'm about to go into a diabetic coma after I eat one, but that's fine.

Ugh, the chocolate ones never appealed to me.

Huh, it must be ten years since I last had a pop tart.

Open the case of your computer, install the Pop Tart on top of the power supply. Cover all ventilation openings with duct tape (or cardboard and chewing gum.) Wait. Your Pop Tart will be ready when you can smell it 8 feet away.

Second warbaby, though I'd take a different approach.

I heat pop parts on the power supply to my laptop all the time. Takes about 10 minutes to heat one out of the wrapper. When I still had a PC I'd heat pop tarts on the top of my CRT monitor. That took longer.

PS: it was possible to pop popcorn on top of the original 10K rpm barracudas. A former employer had a half dozen workstations outfitted with them. A common prank for the swing shift guy to pull was to pop open a cow-orker's case and place half a dozen kernels on top of the HD then seal everything back up. 10-20 minutes after start up "POP", POP-POP". :)

Our office has moved the microwave and water cooler into the basement (we're on the second floor, there are no offices on the first floor). The idea, apparently, was for us to eat in the kitchen and have 'casual encounters' (presumably of the non-sexual kind) during which we'd 'brainstorm' and 'bond as a team', but all it really means is the dishes all migrate up here and someone has to take them back down, and either your legs are very sore at the end of the day or you drink far less water. On the up-side, I should have thighs of steel by the end of the summer.

But on topic, I third warbaby and mitheral. Considering the situation, I'd try warbaby's method first.

chocolate fudge poptarts need toasting, i think...

jon, you coming on friday?

yeah, can't pass up a chance to meet the chef.

Well, great minds think alike, it seems. However, I was thinking more along the lines of ripping the heat-sink off the CPU and plonking your pop-tart¹ there, which should cook it to a T in about 30 seconds.

¹Not sure what a pop-tart actually is, so this advice may be somewhat inaccurate.

I never had a Pop-tart as a kid (mum was an evil bitch and made us eat healthy food) and when I tried one as an adult I was sorely disappointed. Not sweet enough in my expert opinion.

dg Pop-Tarts are a toaster pastry. And according to the wiki they should always be refered to as Pop-Tarts even when there is only one. How 'bout that, I learn something new every day.

The great thing about Pop-Tarts is they are shipped from the factory pre-stale. Keep one in your drawer for a year and it tastes the same as one that got to the store last week.