Good for you! (on the job quitting. on the rest, that's rough. hope your friend gets some help)

Congrats on quitting the job! And sorry about the boif. :-(

Hang in there. Keep trying with the ex-, but also remember that you can't live his life for him.

heatherann, may I suggest calling a suicide hotline and asking them for advice? I did that once many years ago for an old roommate. They're in the phone book, and they're very helpful.

Major bummer on the ex heatherann, but I am glad to hear that you are able to dump the soul-killing job. Those are the worst kind of jobs, yet often the most common.

Quitting rules.

(Best of luck with the ex, heatherann. Halonine's suggestion is a good one. Sounds like he's not in a place where you can confront him head-on, so getting outside advice might help.)

(On the other hand, sometimes it's good for people to "clean house" emotionally. I've done it a few times and, while it's always obvious that it doesn't make sense to the outside world, sometimes it's the best way of getting grounded. Might not be anything to worry about -- may just be something he needs to do right now. FWIW.)

Well, he's in counselling and on anti-depressants, and it sounds like his doctor is just upping his dosage of a drug that doesn't work for him (it's been six months, for pete's sake! switch already!), and he doesn't seem to be connecting with his therapist very well. So, I suggested that he switch, switch doctors if he won't do anything other than upping the dosage of something that isn't making him sane, and switch therapists if she's not what he needs. I'm not sure what else a suicide hotline would suggest. If his friends were more forward people, if his family ever talked, things would be different. I was lucky enough to have a really strong support system when I was going through similar stuff, I wish he had the same.

He sounds so scared.

I didn't know what to say to you about this, heatherann, but what mudpuppie says sounds about what I was thinking but couldn't put into the right words.

Hm...

I suppose your ex's family is in denial that he is depressed, so they are not in touch with him. Do his friends understand his medical situation and check up on him often? Hopefully someone is in daily contact with him and may catch him before anything happens. Sadly even that is not a guarantee. It sounds like he needs to be watched every minute. Also most people don't know what to look for.

I wonder if his statements in light of his history is enough to have him in the hospital for a little while. You may know more about the situation than even the health care professionals, perhaps because he trusts you. Maybe you have enough information to make a call and have him put on psychiatric hold. A hotline could tell you for sure.

I don't know the exact reasons why you broke up. If he was abusive to you and any contact with him will make you a victim again you would have to put yourself first in this. Consider your personal boundaries and conscience, and ask the people who supported you before (or the people in your support system now) for help and advice.

Absent any abusive manipulation, the fact that he's scared and withdrawing from his friends indicates that he can't make decisions for himself right now. Withdrawing when you have depression intensifies the depression. And that can make you suicidal. I really hope that your local authorities will allow him to be held on this basis.

Here is some information on depression, and on suicide.

You're correct in taking this seriously. But again, if he is an abusive or manipulative person, that changes things.

Congrats on quitting the bad job. I have no help for your ex and his troubles. I hope he gets better.

Yay on escaping the job from hell. Best wishes for the ex, and what omiewise said. And yeah, if it doesn't kick in in 3 weeks or less, it's not the right drug.