Here's just a sampling of my own bad roommate experiences, there are plenty, plenty more.

Female: I lived with a woman in South Africa years ago who locked the fridge, piled dirty dishes on my bed and then locked the phone. And then she denied all of it. I think she was upset because we'd slept together and then I got to know her boyfriend and we became pals which ended any canoodling between us. I loved my exit there. She went to work one morning and a pal came over and we moved everything of mine out. I just disappeared and never spoke to her again. But I did see her boyfriend once before I left the country, he thought it was absolutely hilarious and my ex-roomie was furious!

Male: My first college roomie was a 'roid pumped wrestler with a love for death metal. He'd go to sleep with his headphones on loud enough that I could hear the words to his music. He'd also eat five or six packs of hot sauce before bed each night to have interesting dreams. When he drank, he got violent, with everyone. I'd seen him bodyslam girls, boys, dogs, whatever. And he basically said I wasn't allowed to move to another room. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of that dorm room. Strangely, I really preferred him when he was tripping on acid, he was almost docile.

And then there was the almost roommate who slept with my almost-ex (we were breaking up and it wasn't going well) the night before he was supposed to move into our house. He'd already moved some stuff in but I called him and told him his crap would be on the street if he didn't get it out immediately. He was flabbergasted as to why I was so pissed off at him. Needless to say, he was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

I had a psycho roomie who changed the locks while I was away for the weekend and when I called the police, she told them it was her house (it was mine) and they threatened to arrest me.

I had to stay with a friend who had very useful friends who, er, persuaded her to leave. She was up to all kinds of scams, claiming different state benefits she wasn't entitled to, as well as a student grant and a government Enterprise Allowance for a non-existent business. She's now a criminal law barrister in, I think, Milton Keynes. She used to be in a punk band called the Au Pairs in the 70s. They were shit.

One roommate blacked out and ran up $800 worth of long distance calls to Tuvalu and other small island nations at one in the morning. He doesn't know anyone in any of those countries, nor did he ever pay me back (the phone was in my name).

I have too many of these people in my past to count. It's actually kinda depressing.

In 4th year of college I lived with a disparate group of people - 2 other girls, 3 guys. All bar one of the guys was fine. This one was creeeeepy, and a few months into the year acquired a 15 (!!) yo girlfriend who he would shag very very loudly (he had the bedroom next to mine) at all hours of the night. Soon, her little friends started to use our house as a "cool" hangout place during the day (after school hours, before most of us were home from university). We shut that down pretty quickly and kicked him out.

On the whole though, I've only had good roommate experiences.

I'm the bad roomate.

I had one roommate who stayed in her room all the time listening to Nine Inch Nails and only came out to make potatoes & cheez whiz (the only thing she ever ate). I suggested that her depression might be improved with the introduction of vegetables and protein to her diet and made her an actual dinner. She was delighted, but immediately went back to the taters and cheeze product--I guess being less shoe-gazing would interfere with her gothness. When her filthy, neglected cat infested the place with fleas, she refused to do anything about it and wouldn't let me in her room to de-flea it. Needless to say, the fleas only went when she did.

Another roommate was completely obsessive about fat, constantly lectured me about food, and tried to get me to take these herbal diet pills (I was much lighter then than I am now). She ended up a paranoid speed freak who redecorated her place nightly, never went out, and would regularly call her psychiatrist at home at midnight demanding refills for her many prescriptions. Luckily, she was living with someone else by that point.

I don't have roommates any more.

My first college roommate had the same first name as me and our moms also had the same first name. I think they decided to assign us the same dorm room because of our names and completely ignored the form we filled out about our personality/interests.

He had a really effeminate voice matched with a Minnesotan acent. The out-going message on our answering machine was "You've reached the Joes' room!" Most of my message consisted primarily of laughter.

Oh, I could write a book about my first college roommate. She was awful! For starters, I'd requested a nonsmoking roommate. She put down on her form that she was a nonsmoker because she didnt want her parents to know she smoked. In reality she was a chainsmoker and was really rude about it. (I came back one day with an awful case of strep throat and asked her very politely if she would mind smoking elsewhere - and she refused and blew smoke in my face.)

She figured that since she brought the answering machine she didn't have to put my name on it, nor did she have to give me any messages anyone left for me. (I eventually told my friends that if I wasn't around to call my friend in the room next door - she would actually give me messages) If someone wrote something to me on our dry-erase board, she'd wipe it off as soon as she saw it - especially if I hadn't seen it yet.

She was engaged, ring and all, to three different men in three different states, and was fooling around with at least eight others on the IU campus that I know of.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.

Thankfully, she moved out after first semester and in with one of her pledge sisters. Otherwise we'd have killed each other.

(And I was a bit relieved when she pulled the same crap on her new roommate - at least then I knew for sure it wasn't just me.)

I think I had the same roommate as Elizard. Was the cat named Thrasher and did she refuse to get it fixed even though it was constantly in heat and howling? And did she lock herself in & cut herself? Good times, good times.

I also had the obsessively stingy roommate who freaked out constantly over pennies - she once borrowed my car & when she brought it back told me: "I figured out how much gas I used. Here's $2.87" and proceeded to count it out down to the penny. Like the extra .13 would have killed her (her father owned a car dealership & she got a new car twice a year.) She was a food labeller & general all around control freak - and her boyfriend sold pot by the pound out of our house, which is one of the main reasons I left.

Not far off, mgl--the cat's name was Flail. And now that you mention it, she did refuse to get her fixed and the poor thing was regularly in heat. Plus she constantly complained of being broke but would get cheques from her filthy rich parents and buy custom-made leather shorts and piercings and such.

Some of you have already heard my roommate stories, but god were my last set of roommates the worst:

-The two who were dating used to scream and yell and hit each other every second they were together, then laugh off the suggestion that they had a problematic relationship (even after certain fights lead to a bloody nose).

-They still owe me $100 that I know I am never getting back.

-The two boys were hardcore gamers, one of them almost never slept, he would come home from work, play WoW, and then pass out in his bed for a couple hours, then get up and go to work without showering in the same uniform he wore the day before. This only bothered me when I got him hired at my job, because everyone at work kept asking me if he realized he smelled.

-At one point I had a apartment with connecting bedrooms - I had to walk through the other room to get to mine. With my first roommate, he and his girlfriend would be in there all the time, supposedly having sex, and then they wouldn't let me through to get ready for work or to get something. The next roommate who slept in that room did the same thing every night with his GF, who was a total cunt and basically lived with us for free. I put up with it because he was working on losing his virginity, finally put my foot down when I realized it was preventing me from getting laid.

I moved in with a girl I met at work right after I moved to Atlanta. I barely knew her but I was desperate. Once a month she'd tell me what my half of the electric and water bill came to and I'd write a check or hand her some cash for that amount plus my half of the rent, no big deal.

I'd been there about four months when I noticed someone moving out of a one-bedroom unit in the same building so I went to the rental office to see if I could move in. Everything seemed OK so I asked to see a copy of the lease. The water and electricity were included in the rent. I asked, and the same was true for every unit in the building. The bitch had been taking between 150-200 dollars from me every month. I left a note telling her that I was moving out the next week and that I expected reimbursement for every penny I'd paid for "utilities" before I left. I went to work and came home to find the locks changed. She wouldn't open the door and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave, so I called them myself, and the officer escorted me into the apartment and waited while I got some clothes and stuff together. The entire time the roommate was telling the cop that he should search my room and my stuff because I was a drug addict and I sold drugs out of the apartment-lies, of course. The only thing that kept me from mentioning the 3 foot Grafix bong I knew she kept in her closet was the fear that I would somehow be implicated since I'd been living there, too. The same cop came back the next day and waited patiently while I piled my stuff into the back of a borrowed truck.

My stuff and I stayed at a friend's house for a couple of weeks before I moved into a new place-it was a bit more expensive than the one-bedroom I'd looked at before, but getting as far away as possible from that crazytrain was worth it. I filed a claim against her in small claims court as soon as I was able to scrape together the small fee involved, but they were unable to serve her since she had moved to Florida and I couldn't afford the extra cost of having the summons served in another state.

Luckily, all my other roommates have been lovely.

One of my first college roommates was a year or so younger than me, she'd skipped a grade. Her accent was mild, but her father would call and leave long messages in a heavy accent. I felt bad when I answered since I was always asking him to repeat things.

He would call, literally, every single morning at about six am to make sure she wasn't staying out all night. Which is funny, as I don't think she ever went out when I was living with her.

Once she asked if I could turn my desk lamp off at about 8 so she could sleep. No, she didn't mean at that point in time. She wanted the room silent and dark by 8 pm every night so she could go to bed.
I told her it wasn't happening. Hell, I had a few classes that didn't even end until 9:40 PM! I told her I could compromise and do 10 on weeknights, and study in the lounge. But she went to the RA. Who, not surprisingly, laughed at her.

No clue how we ended up together. I said I was messy, on the loud side, a night owl, and a smoker. She was a neat freak, quiet as a mouse (unless she was yelling to demand the same of everyone around her), never smoked, and would even complain if I smoked elesewhere, or went to a club, and came back with a smoke smell on my clothes.

I don't have the energy to re-type the entire story, but following is a link to where I originally posted my story. This girl needed a swift kick in the ass, bad... and I would've done it, but...I didn't want to lose my foot. :( Anyhow, apologies for the probably awful spelling and grammar, I was like 19. :)




Happy reading...

Whew, amesbelle, that's rough.

You all need to read this. Will make everything seem much better ;)

No roommate thread is completely without a link to the Greatest Story Ever Told. Discussed on MeFi here.

er, "complete."

Oh lord Daddy, I just lost a full half hour of my life reading that story and the mefi thread to go with it. Curses to you!

and her boyfriend sold pot by the pound out of our house

!!!!!!!!!!

I've been pretty lucky. Minror dispute with roomie in college about her not wanting to return my security deposit when I moved out. She wanted the chick who was moving in to pay me instead of her paying me. I needed it to move into the place 1 floor down. So I went to the landlord who said, "NO ONE MOVES IN HERE WITHOUT MY KNOWING ABOUT IT!" And she went and got my cashola. I moved all my shit out while she was in class one day.

Many years ago, when I was younger and stupid(er), I agreed to share an apartment with a guy I worked with. I got along with him, he seemed reliable and at least semi-intelligent.

Within about three days of moving in to the apartment we picked, I came home in the afternoon and was greeted by the overpowering smell of paint. My new roommate was sitting in the kitchen with a garbage bag full of newly empty spray paint cans. He jumped up and began apologizing incorerently. He retrieved a large bottle of Calvin Klein Obsession from his bedroom and began spraying it throughout the apartment to cover the smell of paint. Of course it didn't work, and to this day if I smell Obsession it turns my stomach. (I guess that scent is pretty much gone now, it's probably been close to ten years since I've noticed it.)

After a few weeks of his increasingly erratic behavior (probably not helped much by my attitude toward him, I am ashamed to say) I ended up breaking the lease and moving out, into another situation that was in some ways just as fucked up, but that's another story. I have no idea what happened to my paint-loving ex-roomie.

I hope he didn't end up like this.

I had a roommate who was nice and personable, if a little quiet; she was into holistic stuff and the dalai lama, had traveled all over and held a couple of graduate degrees.

I was dismayed one day when, on arriving home from work, I found her in my room, stealing money from my desk.

I had my first dealings with roommates my 3rd year of university. Up until that point I'd been living on my own and moving every four months as I was on a co-op program that had me alternating a semester of school with a semester of work.

Anyways a buddy of mine finds a place much better located for him but he and his somewhat annoying girlfriend can't swing it on their own and ask me to split it with them. As it was centrally located close to school I agree and we make the arrangements. Unfortunately in the next month they break up and somehow not only do I see my rent go up 50% but in a move that has my friend owing me a big one I end up with the annoying girlfriend as my roommate.

Some of the nutty stuff she pulled:

1) She'd think nothing of washing and drying a single pair of underwear in the washer/dryer supplied by me.

2) I was running a BBS at the time using my land line + Smart Ring. The smart ring number is a double ring which is very handy. I set the BBS to answer on five rings and my voice mail to pick up on four. That way voice calls never got my BBS and the BBS always picked up the line before computer calls got voice mail. This works really well unless your dingbat roommate "can't hear a phone ring and not answer it". She would then have the gall to complain that computers keep calling my line (she had her own phone line independent of mine). Yet she never managed to get me messages if she got a voice caller.

3) We split cable/electricity/gas 50-50. The first month as we're divvying up she asks for $3.50 as reimbursement for the toilet paper she'd bought. Now even though I'd been living on my own for 3+ years I'd never bought toilet paper. The first place I'd lived I shared a bathroom with another apartment and the landlord supplied TP. After that I'd been moving every four months and every place I'd moved into had a few rolls left by the previous tenant which I never used up So I didn't know how much TP was but $3.50 seemed reasonable. Up until the next month when she had her hand out for another $3.50 and I told her to buy a 24 pack so we weren't buying tp every month. To which she replied she'd bought 48 count packages. Astonished I gave her the $3.50 with the caveat she not ask me again for at least a year as there was no way I went through even 6 rolls in the last two months let alone 48. I've never been able to figure out what she was doing with it.

4)She (19) starts dating a 41 year old. Despite the fact he has a beach house on the river they hang around our place; all the time. The guy must have liked slumming I guess. Which would have been fine if they weren't having obnoxiously loud sex 3-4 hours a day (sometimes monopolizing the bathroom for hours at a time) while I was trying to study.

5) Despite having a parking space of her own she'd park in my spot because it was a whole 6 spots "closer to our unit". Which wouldn't have been nearly so annoying if I didn't have to drive all the way around the complex to get back to her spot because of the one way layout of the complex.

6) She managed to burn a hole thru my stainless pasta pot, on an electric range.

7) If I was watching TV with my girlfriend (who had her own place)and she came home she'd think nothing of walking by us and queueing up the tape of her soaps. This despite the fact that we were already watching a show and that the TV, the VCR, the couch she then plunked herself into, and the coffee table she put her feet on all belonged to me.

8) When I left after four months she had the unabashed nerve to ask me to pay for another month because she was having problems finding a roommate.